Gambler Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 I fell for a girl a couple of years ago. I told her I liked her shortly after I met her but she didn't feel any of those feelings for me ("let's just be friends"). Unfortunately I spent the next 2 years being friends, and slowly let it torment me. So I began to stop contact (and discover that I didn't seem to be missed) but sent and received the occasional birthday greeting or pleasantry. She would occasionally question why my replies or messages were curt and not overly friendly. There were times when I had met someone else and I began to forget, but once things ended my thoughts always went back to her. I've never felt for anyone as much as I did for her. Now, I've removed her from friends lists on social networks, phone etc so that I don't even see her name anymore. It helps. I often wondered if she knew how I felt about her. I keep questioning myself that should she ever call again and ask about the reason I had dropped her as a friend, what reason would I give. I guess I want to stop thinking about her anymore, and feel like I need an answer to this so to know what to do should the situation arise. Should I give no reason, just something like a "life moves on" answer. Or does she "deserve" to know that I couldn't handle things the way they were and therefore felt it was best for me to put it behind me fully?
0hpenelope Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 So I began to stop contact (and discover that I didn't seem to be missed)... My eyes were drawn to that. If she asks why - that's if she does, not when - say "I got busy." It's not entirely a lie. You were busying yourself with moving on. I thought you were going to call her and let her know you're going NC. To which, I say don't.
jerbear Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 Don't say a thing. You two were never friends really. Not contacting you after awhile, being removed from social networks, giving contacts, etc... whatever. Keep the status quo, move on.
Phateless Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 I dunno... I had a female friend like that. We talk every once in a while but I had to accept that I couldn't handle being her friend and no more. I let her go. I never said anything but I'm sure she knows... Thing is, for a while, we were super close. I think we were orbiting each other for a bit but nothing ever happened. *sigh* It wouldn't have worked anyway, she would have eaten me alive. And yet... I still think of her from time to time. do what you need to do. if it will make you feel better to tell her outright, "i like you too much to be your friend. it's better this way," then do it. at the very least, it will be an interesting experiment. but think about this - what do you possibly expect her to say to something like that?
tealeafbud Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 i agree that you shouldn't say anything. Why cause stress in that type of relationship. She'll get the hint. I'm in a friendly relationship also, and although she lives over an hour away, I've made several attempts to "get together" even though she may just want to be friends. But it seems like she doesn't reciprocate, so I'll just slowly lose the grip. No hard feelings, it's just the way it is.
wareagle Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 I have the same thing going on with a friend of mine. We haven't talked in over like two weeks, it seemed like I was making all the first contact, and trying to make plans with her, which she was busy most of the time. I made contact the last time two weeks ago and havnt heard from her since. I'm not going to contact her again until she does me.
Author Gambler Posted August 11, 2008 Author Posted August 11, 2008 Thanks everyone. I think now, however unlikely the situation is to arise, I can say I wouldn't say anything should she contact me. A load off, as they say, even for something so minor; but now the imagination won't run so wild.
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