MayraPelayo Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 Ok, I am having a very difficult day today, So I always feel good when someone else is there to listen and read why this is so, So I would like for everyone to post why they are having such a difficult time moving forward. I will start with mine! I am trying to move forward from a man that is madly in love with me but is to complicated and depressed to continue in a relationship with. I can honestly say I gave my complete all for this man and made him a priority to me because the love I had for him was mutual. But because he was non trusting and angry that I had to get him out of my life because all it did was make me upset. I never did anything to him to not trust me, I would get mad at the fact that because he would feel upset he would not come see me when all I wanted to do was be there for him as his partner. Who knows if he is still alive, I have no way of knowing and that hurts me. Why would he make me go through this if he loved me so much. So this is why I am having a difficult time moving forward because I love him more than my life. Sux it had to end this way. Mayra
roghornio Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 I'm not broken hearted. Im treading through the mind gloop that is a few months after this has past.
Nikki Sahagin Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 I find it hard to move forward because me and my ex both still love each other. Our relationship ended because of our own problems; insecurity, control, jealousy and possessiveness but despite this we loved each other truly and genuinely and connected at every level. It's hard to move on knowing we still love each other. Knowing that if only we had the maturity, sensitivity, patience and forsight to just trust and believe in each other - that we could have fought through these problems together. I mean arguably, love can conquer all? I find it hard to move on knowing how well we connected, how genuinely we both did and still do love each other - but just that through our own natural human weaknesses and faults, we couldn't do it.
Author MayraPelayo Posted August 8, 2008 Author Posted August 8, 2008 OMG that is exactly my situation but this man had mental problems... I know he knows how much he meant to me because not a day would go by that I didn't express this to him, and I know he truely loved me but had problems trusting anyone, especially women. what next?
Nikki Sahagin Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 OMG that is exactly my situation but this man had mental problems... I know he knows how much he meant to me because not a day would go by that I didn't express this to him, and I know he truely loved me but had problems trusting anyone, especially women. what next? Then my heart goes out to you, because we are in the same boat . If he has problems, then he can't work them out WHILE he is with you. It would be impossible. In many love can put a statis on our development. If we enter a relationship with problems, issues, wounds, the relationship only gives us the safety and security to express them, expose them and develop them. The love and safety of another person who accepts you as you are, lets you bring these problems into the open and often they get worse not better. It's a bit like 2 drug addicts in a co-dependent relationship. You won't seek the help to get better until you face the world alone and HAVE to. I think you have to accept this man needs to find the help for his problems on his own. If he doesn't do this, your relationship would only self-destruct bearing the weight of all these problems, as would mine. My only comfort is the true belief I have that I love him TRULY because I love him UNCONDITIONALLY. I love him enough, that I can let him go. Because I couldn't bear to be with him if it would mean we would destroy each other. I still foster the hope that one day, we will sort ourselves out, and find each other again but I realise that this is a journey we sadly must make alone for now.
Author MayraPelayo Posted August 8, 2008 Author Posted August 8, 2008 Well put you have no idea how much you have impacted my day with those words. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart!
pickingupthepieces Posted August 9, 2008 Posted August 9, 2008 I find it hard to move forward because me and my ex both still love each other. Our relationship ended because of our own problems; insecurity, control, jealousy and possessiveness but despite this we loved each other truly and genuinely and connected at every level. It's hard to move on knowing we still love each other. Knowing that if only we had the maturity, sensitivity, patience and forsight to just trust and believe in each other - that we could have fought through these problems together. I mean arguably, love can conquer all? I find it hard to move on knowing how well we connected, how genuinely we both did and still do love each other - but just that through our own natural human weaknesses and faults, we couldn't do it. I feel as if this is a page right of the book called "my life". It seems like both me and my ex are having a hard time letting go. We both love eachother still after ... well 10 months of being split up. We BOTH have a lot of our own issues that we have to deal with on our OWN. Now my question is .... Is it possible to still be friends with them while you are working on yourselfs? I don't mean in hopes of getting back together.. but to not have to COMPLETELY have them "gone". Or is that just going to make things harder.. still having that person around... to actually focus on yourself? Its just so frustrating.......
Nikki Sahagin Posted August 9, 2008 Posted August 9, 2008 I feel as if this is a page right of the book called "my life". It seems like both me and my ex are having a hard time letting go. We both love eachother still after ... well 10 months of being split up. We BOTH have a lot of our own issues that we have to deal with on our OWN. Now my question is .... Is it possible to still be friends with them while you are working on yourselfs? I don't mean in hopes of getting back together.. but to not have to COMPLETELY have them "gone". Or is that just going to make things harder.. still having that person around... to actually focus on yourself? Its just so frustrating....... Most people would tell you no. Most people would tell you to cut all ties and that you are merely delaying the process of healing and rejuvenation by clinging onto someone who you still love and care for. Perhaps they are right? I WAS going to stop contacting and seeing my ex entirely so that in the future we could be friends BUT we bumped into each other a couple of times and talked as friends and talked honestly about everything. Now really is it any easier to minimise someone you are fortunate enough in this world to have genuinely bonded with to the status of stranger, or is it easier to keep them in your life, but just in a different way? My ex and me were just as emotionally, mentally and spiritually close but just without the factor of physicality. I've realised my love for him goes beyond sex, it goes beyond those things. We still know each other inside and out, we still connect, we still understand and support each other. So personally, I am TRYING for friendship but just not seeing or talking often. You can TRY friendship and if it doesn't work, if it doesn't hurt, if it goes wrong, you can always pull away and say you need time. The truth is, though it MIGHT be better to cut all ties, sometimes it isn't. Individual people have individual circumstances. So try whatever is best for you, just DON'T have false hope.
Peter_pan Posted August 9, 2008 Posted August 9, 2008 i am having a hard time moving forward because she was my first love. i was with her since i was 17. she wanted to stay in touch but she hasnt. i couldn't at first because she replaced me right away. i feel bad because it was a joint decision to have a break. but she moved on without me really taking her seriously. and then it was to late, nothing i could say would change her mind that i wasnt what she wanted anymore. she wanted her bar manager. its hard not knowing what she is up to and that she dosnt talk to me. it makes me feel worthless
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