MayraPelayo Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 Good morning, I am at a stage now that all my anger towards this man is subsiding, I feel this massive urge to contact him... I called his Cell phone and left a message apologizing for the things I said to him, I text him four times telling him I loved him and that I don't understand why the **** I am having such a difficult time to let him go. I can't stop thinking about him at all. I know as time goes on things will get better. I was so used to talking to him on a daily basis and when we worked together I would see him everyday.. That was one of our biggest problems not enough time to see each other. Other than the fact that he had trouble performing because of his depression. I stuck it out for a year and could not any longer as he was impatient to feel better I was impatient as well. I know that I can find someone better but I don't want anyone else. I am stuck on whether I should hate him for the horrible things he said to me or I should love him uncontrolably for the way he loved me. The truth of the matter is I don't need him to cause me anymore pain and stress in my life and I am just having trouble letting go. I haven't talked to him in two days now and the last thing that was said to me was I was a lieing fat whore and his blood is on my hands because he was going to kill himself. That's not love I know because I would have never said anything like that to him. I need to be strong but why the **** do I ****en feel so god dam weak I hate this feeling of dispare.
roghornio Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 I was a lieing fat whore and his blood is on my hands because he was going to kill himself. He's looking for a reaction. Dont react... if you do, he'll do it again and again. Like a baby throwing toys out a pram when it's unhappy. I'm sure you don;t want to hear this but 2 days is nothing... you have a few months ahead of you, deal with it now to make it easier and shorter. Keep up contact, fall his mind games and it'll drag on and on. Stand firm!
Author MayraPelayo Posted August 8, 2008 Author Posted August 8, 2008 I know, one of the reasons I did call is because I know for a fact that he through his phone out. No one understands the hell I have been through with this man, He called yesterday from another phone and I picked up and hung it up instantly. After that I didn't receive anything.... How can I get him out of my head any suggestions?
wareagle Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 Change your number, delete him from every aspect of your life, he sounds like poison!! You don't deserve this nor does anyone else!! Period point blank!
Nikki Sahagin Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 Only day 2? You are being hard on yourself. It's not even been a week or a month since, only a matter of days! In the first few days (if not longer) you will feel the worst you've ever felt. Stick it out. Be strong. I was in tears all day. Not eating. Throwing up. Not sleeping. I was a wreck. But this unbearable stage can only last so long. The human body can only endure this for so long before it moves to a more evened out stage. Just hang on in there and bear through this pain. It will shift to a new more bearable stage soon.
Author MayraPelayo Posted August 8, 2008 Author Posted August 8, 2008 It has only been two days for it to be final but to be honest with u all, this hasn't been the first time we have gone through this... I shed enough tears trust me and I no longer can cry about the situation it's more of me having to accept the situation. if that makes any sense. Before it was real hard for me even to bear the fact that I would never see him again, now it's more of I am torn from me being sad and angry to me being motivated and strong. I will overcome this because I have overcame worse situations to be honest. I just want to express myself on this site when I feel motivated and when I feel down. I know it will get better. Thanks to all! *muah*
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