mopar crazy Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 expects him to pay her back when he gets a job. Ok, that is all fine and dandy IF my son was able to pick out the car he wanted but he wasn't even asked if he wanted this car. I never gave it much thought until last night when I went to visit my own parents. I had told my mother a few days prior that my MIL bought my son a car but he had to pay her back when he got a job. When I went to visit my parents last night my dad asked me if my son got to choose the car he wanted. I told him no, my MIL bought it for him. He asked if it was what my son wanted. I told him we haven't seen it yet, she bought it from her BIL and we were picking it up Saturday. He ask me what kind of car, I tell him a 91 Honda Accord. He ask if it's a 2 door or a 4 door and I tell him it's a 4 door. My dad starts laughing and says "You mean to tell me that she bought him a car that he may not even like and he has to pay her back?" I told him she expects him to pay her back. They both think it's BS. They said it was nice of her to buy him a car but she should have asked him what he was interested in if he has to pay her back. We go to pick up the car tomorrow and it will be the first time we see it. Ds said he has looked online at them and said "They are ok" but I know he does not want one, at all. Personally, if it were me, I would have told my parents no. If I have to pay for a car it's gonna be what I like. Teenage boys just don't drive 4doors around here. There is no way in hell I would have wanted to drive a 4 door in HS. I still don't want to drive a 4door but I do b/c of my kids. I had several choices of cars I wanted to buy and I got one of them. I worked PT in HS to pay for this car. I knew if I wanted a car I liked I had to get a job and that is what I did and that is what my son was going to do. I guess I just don't think it's fair he has to go to work to pay for a car he doesn't even really like. He should have been given a choice. If she was offering to buy him a car and he would pay her back over the course of time she should have taken him car shopping.
LolitaAnastasia Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 I believe your MIL was thinking she was doing the right thing in getting him a car. Obviously she heard that her BIL was selling his car so she thought it would be great for your son. I agree that she would want to be paid back if she is on the pension or anything. Myself I bought my car off my great grandfather a little Nissian pulsar four door. I paid him in full over time because I knew he was on the pension. You might hurt her if you mentioned that your son might not like the car. Check it out tomorrow and if he doesn't like it then let him tell her that he doesnt like it.
quankanne Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 this is attacked on three different levels: 1. If she bought the car for him without discussing it beforehand, or getting into an agreement beforehand, the car is definitely a gift that was thrust upon him. SHE may want to be reimbursed, but because she purchased before talking it over with him (or you parents), your son shouldn't be honor-bound to pay for a dang gift! 2. car model – I know Hondas are good cars (safety-wise, economy-wise, structurally). Do you think maybe that's the reason why she jumped on the chance to buy it? My first car was a '79 Honda Civic, and even though he knew I didn't drive a stick-shift, my daddy still bought it for me because it was a very dependable car that got great gas mileage, even though it was about 10 years old! It was a good investment for a college-aged kid, in his opinion. 3. It might not be the model he would pick for himself, but don't ever doubt that a kid would turn down a set of wheels! Even if it's ugly, impractical, etc. It's a car that he doesn't have to share or fight over for use, therefore it's wonderful
Jilly Bean Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 I totally agree it's crap. Who buys someone a gift without their consent or knowledge, and then expects to be paid in full? That's no different than her telling you she bought you a great house that you never saw, and now you have to move in and pay for it. WTF? I would tell her thanks, but no thanks. If she wanted to help out your son, she should have asked him to pick out his own car, and then arrange a re-payment plan with him. What she has done is purely controlling and meddling.
lovestruck818 Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 Well, I don't think your MIL had bad intentions...her intentions were good I am sure, maybe a little off, but generous in thinking of your son- no doubt. Perhaps she bought this car for him b/c it was affordable and she didn't want to see your son buy something above his means and fall flat on his face when he realised he couldn't afford it? It's a bit odd, but hey, your son should should just be greatful he got a car at all. I was 23 when I had my first car. My parents would not elt me use their car and I had no mode of transportation.
Author mopar crazy Posted August 8, 2008 Author Posted August 8, 2008 I totally agree it's crap. Who buys someone a gift without their consent or knowledge, and then expects to be paid in full? That's no different than her telling you she bought you a great house that you never saw, and now you have to move in and pay for it. WTF? I would tell her thanks, but no thanks. If she wanted to help out your son, she should have asked him to pick out his own car, and then arrange a re-payment plan with him. What she has done is purely controlling and meddling. I agree, 110%! Thank you! If she was giving it to him as a gift and not having to pay her back it would be different, BUT he has to pay her back. There are plenty of other cars around that he would have loved around that price. While my brother (mechanic) said they Honda Accord is good mechanically he said the parts are a lot more expensive. If she wanted to offer to give him a loan for a car she should have went car shopping w/ him. My oldest brother is a used car dealer, he could have looked and gotten a car that my son really wanted. While I know her intentions were good I just think she should have let him pick out a car he wants b/c HE has to pay for it.
jcrew Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 I remember buying my first car, and it was so exciting trying to figure out which one I wanted. My mom kept reminding me that it was one of The Biggest Purchases I'd make in my life. It's a huge responsibility. While I would have welcomed pretty much any car as a gift, I'd have hated being forced to buy one my grandmother picked out. This isn't a gift at all. She isn't paying for it, she's merely loaning. Your son is under absolutely no obligation to accept that loan. And I find it incredibly inconsiderate towards you and your husband, too, that she didn't consider that maybe you two would want to share the first car-shopping experience with your son. That can be a really exciting and memorable thing. And to not ask your approval first is really surprising to me. Sure, any teenager would welcome whatever car they can get for the most part. But I'd think that only applies to FREE cars. If he's having to pay for it anyway, it most certainly should be a car he chooses. If this car isn't what he wants most for his money, then he needs to decline. No way should he pay for a car out of guilt. That's not fair to him at all. Luckily for your mother-in-law, she bought it from family, so it should be easy to return. It kinda sounds more like she was trying to help out her BIL by helping him sell his car, then helping your son.
Jilly Bean Posted August 9, 2008 Posted August 9, 2008 I agree, 110%! Thank you! If she was giving it to him as a gift and not having to pay her back it would be different, BUT he has to pay her back. There are plenty of other cars around that he would have loved around that price. While my brother (mechanic) said they Honda Accord is good mechanically he said the parts are a lot more expensive. If she wanted to offer to give him a loan for a car she should have went car shopping w/ him. My oldest brother is a used car dealer, he could have looked and gotten a car that my son really wanted. While I know her intentions were good I just think she should have let him pick out a car he wants b/c HE has to pay for it. Yeah, it's all totally wrong. Since she's getting it from a family member, have her tell him no deal. No way would I tolerate this situation to come to fruition.
Ronni_W Posted August 9, 2008 Posted August 9, 2008 I wouldn't see it as a "gift" -- she told him before he takes possession that she expects to be reimbursed. (The way she went about this whole transaction is all backwards, but likely she did have good intentions.) If your son does not like the car and/or the price tomorrow, he can just say, "Thanks for the thought, Grandma, but I'll keep on looking for a different car." (Hopefully he'll already have checked as to what the car is worth, expected maintenance costs, etc., so he will be an informed consumer.) If your son isn't pleased with the deal that she arranged on his behalf (which is the totally backwards part), and she is on the hook to her BiL, that really is due to her not having discussed with her grandson BEFORE she entered into any deal that, ultimately, was going to be his financial responsibility.
forrest Posted August 9, 2008 Posted August 9, 2008 Lets see, your son is getting a 17 year old car? That thing costs like what, maybe $3000? Your son will end up paying way more to maintain the car than what the car is actually worth. If anything breaks, you are essentially screwed as the parts might not be readily available and would cost quite a bit. Back of from this deal, its not worth it.
Lizzie60 Posted August 9, 2008 Posted August 9, 2008 This is what I think: she might have bought the car, and tell him he'd have to pay her back.. when she knows she won,t accept the money later.. meaning it's a gift.. I know I would probably (or maybe I will someday) get a car for my grand'daughter and not expect her to pay back..
Leia Posted August 9, 2008 Posted August 9, 2008 I know I would probably (or maybe I will someday) get a car for my grand'daughter and not expect her to pay back.. It better be a nice, brand new car.
Trialbyfire Posted August 9, 2008 Posted August 9, 2008 Point blank, it's not a gift. Have your son refuse it, if it's not what he wants.
Lizzie60 Posted August 9, 2008 Posted August 9, 2008 It better be a nice, brand new car. Yes.. knowing me.. I will probably make her choose the colour, etc..
Author mopar crazy Posted August 10, 2008 Author Posted August 10, 2008 Ok, we picked up the car yesterday and brought it home. H's uncle and aunt were freaked out about getting it home (we live over 100 miles apart) and told us to call them when we got home. They never even took it out on the highway but once in the whole year and half they owned it. He said he hates selling to family b/c if there is any problems he will feel bad. I am thinking "WTF, they don't even trust their own car making the 100+ mile trip and our son is suppose to pay his grandma back for a car that isn't trusted?" While it's in a good shape body wise I have no idea what the engine is like. I HATE the way it sounds. It's a 4 cylinder and has that "rice grinder" sound. And personally looks like an grandparents car rather than a teenagers car. THANKFULLY, though, my son likes the car. I kind of thought maybe he was just saying it to us that he liked it but really didn't b/c grandma bought it (even though she expects him to pay it back) and didn't want to hurt her feelings. My daughter said while they were in the car he said he did like it. I still think we could have found him something else that HE could have picked out but I guess, if he likes it that is all that really matters. I was going to ask my brother to look for an older Ford Mustang b/c that is what he has always wants. I found one on Auto Trader this morning in his price range, and the color he wanted and it was only 200 miles away. Too bad, it's too late now.
Author mopar crazy Posted August 10, 2008 Author Posted August 10, 2008 Yes.. knowing me.. I will probably make her choose the colour, etc.. Lizzie, don't get her a brand new car. As soon as she drives it off the lot is depreciates like $3,000 or something like that. Get her a used car. My parents bought a brand new car one time, nothing but problems. My supervisor bought a brand new car a few months ago and it has already been in the shop four or five times! At least once a month. My brother's both said not to buy brand new. My BIL is a mechanic also and said he would never buy a brand new car. You have to do what you feel and while it would be nice to drive that car off the lot brand new I will never buy brand new after all the horror stories I have heard from ppl who bought brand new.
Trialbyfire Posted August 10, 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 Ok, we picked up the car yesterday and brought it home. H's uncle and aunt were freaked out about getting it home (we live over 100 miles apart) and told us to call them when we got home. They never even took it out on the highway but once in the whole year and half they owned it. He said he hates selling to family b/c if there is any problems he will feel bad. I am thinking "WTF, they don't even trust their own car making the 100+ mile trip and our son is suppose to pay his grandma back for a car that isn't trusted?" While it's in a good shape body wise I have no idea what the engine is like. I HATE the way it sounds. It's a 4 cylinder and has that "rice grinder" sound. And personally looks like an grandparents car rather than a teenagers car. THANKFULLY, though, my son likes the car. I kind of thought maybe he was just saying it to us that he liked it but really didn't b/c grandma bought it (even though she expects him to pay it back) and didn't want to hurt her feelings. My daughter said while they were in the car he said he did like it. I still think we could have found him something else that HE could have picked out but I guess, if he likes it that is all that really matters. I was going to ask my brother to look for an older Ford Mustang b/c that is what he has always wants. I found one on Auto Trader this morning in his price range, and the color he wanted and it was only 200 miles away. Too bad, it's too late now. mopar, I know you're going to dislike what I have to say but the for the last couple of decades, domestics haven't been terribly reliable. For reliability, he's better off with the Honda or Toyota, unless he's a gearhead and can fix everything himself. This includes faulty trannies and coolant systems, the entire enchilada.
Author mopar crazy Posted August 10, 2008 Author Posted August 10, 2008 mopar, I know you're going to dislike what I have to say but the for the last couple of decades, domestics haven't been terribly reliable. For reliability, he's better off with the Honda or Toyota, unless he's a gearhead and can fix everything himself. This includes faulty trannies and coolant systems, the entire enchilada. Not a gear head, yet, but I am hoping soon he will take interest in doing mechanical work. My H is clueless when it comes to cars. He wasn't raised around working on them. Anyhow, the bad thing about having foreign is the fact that the parts cost a lot more. As a MOPAR fan, it's really hard to go to that to a Honda. TG it's not my car. H wanted me to take it to town to get groceries. NOPE! Wont drive it. I'm glad my son likes it but I do not want to drive it, period.
Ariadne Posted August 10, 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 Well, It doesn't sound like such a bad car, and probably is going to be inexpensive being that old. Even if he didn't pick it, it sounds like an ok deal to me. See what he says tomorrow. At least is something. Hopefully the car is in good shape and the BIL took good care of it.
Trialbyfire Posted August 10, 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 Not a gear head, yet, but I am hoping soon he will take interest in doing mechanical work. My H is clueless when it comes to cars. He wasn't raised around working on them. Anyhow, the bad thing about having foreign is the fact that the parts cost a lot more. As a MOPAR fan, it's really hard to go to that to a Honda. TG it's not my car. H wanted me to take it to town to get groceries. NOPE! Wont drive it. I'm glad my son likes it but I do not want to drive it, period. Honda parts can be really cheap, especially if you go to an autowreckers or find someone parting out their car. As long as you know what you're looking for, it's not a big issue. Also, he can upgrade parts from a huge aftermarket supply. Btw, it's far more difficult to be a gearhead for any of the newer cars. You need a code reader or access to one, so you can translate what's wrong with the car. Even then, with so many microchips in use, it's easy to get a false reading on it. This applies to both domestics and foreign. Classic muscle cars are so much easier to play with and fix. No chips or electronics to speak of.
Author mopar crazy Posted August 10, 2008 Author Posted August 10, 2008 Honda parts can be really cheap, especially if you go to an autowreckers or find someone parting out their car. As long as you know what you're looking for, it's not a big issue. Also, he can upgrade parts from a huge aftermarket supply. Btw, it's far more difficult to be a gearhead for any of the newer cars. You need a code reader or access to one, so you can translate what's wrong with the car. Even then, with so many microchips in use, it's easy to get a false reading on it. This applies to both domestics and foreign. Classic muscle cars are so much easier to play with and fix. No chips or electronics to speak of. I have had nothing but bad luck getting used parts. My dh was always getting a different part for his truck years ago b/c it was used. I swear he had to change it every few months and finally told them to get him a new part. My little brother is a car mechanic, owns his own business, and he says the parts are expensive. He did say they were reliable cars, but the parts were higher. I hear ya about the newer cars being harder to work on than the older ones. I am always at my brothers shop watching them work on the cars in the shop and I can tell even by observing how much more of a PITA it is to work on the newer cars compared to the classic ones. I just want my ds to be happy w/ his first car like I was w/ my first car. Right now he is ok w/ it but how long will it last b4 he gets tired of it. I had the choice of what I wanted, my ds didn't get that choice.
whichwayisup Posted August 10, 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 Bottomline she should have ASKED first before buying the car, because if he drives it and doesn't like it, everyone is screwed.
Trialbyfire Posted August 10, 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 I have had nothing but bad luck getting used parts. My dh was always getting a different part for his truck years ago b/c it was used. I swear he had to change it every few months and finally told them to get him a new part. My little brother is a car mechanic, owns his own business, and he says the parts are expensive. He did say they were reliable cars, but the parts were higher. I hear ya about the newer cars being harder to work on than the older ones. I am always at my brothers shop watching them work on the cars in the shop and I can tell even by observing how much more of a PITA it is to work on the newer cars compared to the classic ones. I just want my ds to be happy w/ his first car like I was w/ my first car. Right now he is ok w/ it but how long will it last b4 he gets tired of it. I had the choice of what I wanted, my ds didn't get that choice. Have your son google the Honda Accord forums. In doing his homework, he can find ways to connect with other Accord owners within your location and buy parts from recommended individuals or small tuning shop sellers, whether used or new. The larger and more active the forum, the more selection he will find. It's also a great way for him to gain new friends by attending local meets. While Hondas aren't my thing, I belong to a number of different car forums. I've met up with local guys and girls who are car enthusiasts, dragging along one close male car enthusiast friend of mine or in the past, my ex-H, who is a BMW enthusiast. Most are very helpful and some are incredibly knowledgeable. Good luck to your son!
carhill Posted August 10, 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 Hint: Type "honda acura forum" into Google. The top hit is the bible of experience and expertise in maintaining and modifying honda's and acura's. 2nd Hint: If the car has under 100K on it, ask the family member if they've changed the cam belt. If yes, good. If no, get it done. Typically 90K is the maintenance cycle and IIRC that engine is an interference engine so, if it goes, it takes the engine with it. If it has over 100K and belt replacement is unclear, have a competent mechanic look at it ASAP. Belt change usually runs 500-1000.00 depending on shop and parts utilized. 3rd Hint: In many markets, 4 door modes enjoy substantial insurance discounts over 2 door models. They may be ugly but they be cheap to insure 4th Hint: Unless they're giving it away, do not attempt to buy a vintage (64.5-73) Mustang for what was paid for that Honda. Trust me, just don't. I'm a professional gearhead
Author mopar crazy Posted August 10, 2008 Author Posted August 10, 2008 Hint: Type "honda acura forum" into Google. The top hit is the bible of experience and expertise in maintaining and modifying honda's and acura's. 2nd Hint: If the car has under 100K on it, ask the family member if they've changed the cam belt. If yes, good. If no, get it done. Typically 90K is the maintenance cycle and IIRC that engine is an interference engine so, if it goes, it takes the engine with it. If it has over 100K and belt replacement is unclear, have a competent mechanic look at it ASAP. Belt change usually runs 500-1000.00 depending on shop and parts utilized. 3rd Hint: In many markets, 4 door modes enjoy substantial insurance discounts over 2 door models. They may be ugly but they be cheap to insure 4th Hint: Unless they're giving it away, do not attempt to buy a vintage (64.5-73) Mustang for what was paid for that Honda. Trust me, just don't. I'm a professional gearhead OMG you are kidding me, right? F#CK! My mil only paid $1,800 for it. I am taking it into my brother and having him look at the timing belt and checking the exhaust out. I DESPISE the noise it makes and I don't know if that is just the way that engine should sound or what. I have a 4 cylinder and it sounds nothing like his car. He was laughing at me when I was trying to explain it.
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