Why wouldn't he kiss me?

[LolitaAnastasia]

I have known my boyfriend for 3 years. Been with him as a couple since Feb.

 

Thing is I can count how many times he has actually kissed me. No joke. When I first meet him we kissed, then we kissed in his car a few weeks after that. Then another time we kissed after seeing a movie.

 

This was before we were dating.

 

We kissed again about two months ago during sex. But before that kiss a week before, I pressed my lips against his and he didn't respond.

 

I don't have bad breath, I clean my teeth two times a day and I scrap my tongue.

 

It has gotten me confused. My ex-boyfriend always kissed me, even enticed me by putting a sweet/lolly/candy in his mouth and I would kiss him to get the lolly.

 

My current boyfriend doesn't do anything like that, as I said I have tried to kiss him, even pressing my lips against his, no response he just tighten his mouth.

 

It makes me envious when I see my best friend with her boyfriend and they are all over each other.

 

How do I get him to kiss me? Even if it is just a kiss on the cheek.

[btc8]

I have known my boyfriend for 3 years. Been with him as a couple since Feb.

 

Thing is I can count how many times he has actually kissed me. No joke. When I first meet him we kissed, then we kissed in his car a few weeks after that. Then another time we kissed after seeing a movie.

 

This was before we were dating.

 

We kissed again about two months ago during sex. But before that kiss a week before, I pressed my lips against his and he didn't respond.

 

I don't have bad breath, I clean my teeth two times a day and I scrap my tongue.

 

It has gotten me confused. My ex-boyfriend always kissed me, even enticed me by putting a sweet/lolly/candy in his mouth and I would kiss him to get the lolly.

 

My current boyfriend doesn't do anything like that, as I said I have tried to kiss him, even pressing my lips against his, no response he just tighten his mouth.

 

It makes me envious when I see my best friend with her boyfriend and they are all over each other.

 

How do I get him to kiss me? Even if it is just a kiss on the cheek.

 

I'm not sure what is going on there. So you say you've been exclusive since February?

 

Why not just ask him why he isn't kissing you? Sometimes the most direct route to our answers is often the most overlooked.

[LolitaAnastasia]

I'm a bit shy to ask why he doesn't kiss me.

 

Sorry to confuse you, before being exclusive, for 2 years we were friends with benefits, then for 8 months we broke it off cause he was chatting on-line with a 45 year old grandma whore.

 

It's just as I said before I'm jealous that my friends are kissing each other, while I'm sitting quietly besides my boyfriend.

[SeraBella]

Are you young?

 

Has he has much relationship/dating experience before you?

 

Is he from the same culture/background as you?

[Trialbyfire]

I recall when I was in my teens and one guy I dated, didn't seem to want to kiss. When I asked him why he finally fessed up that he was always self-conscious about doing it, because he felt he wasn't any good at it.

 

Another reason might be that some people are germ-a-phobes, who find french kissing disgusting.

 

You really should discuss it with him. Or if you're too shy, spend more time initiating kisses and gestures of affection.

[LolitaAnastasia]

Are you young?

 

Has he has much relationship/dating experience before you?

 

Is he from the same culture/background as you?

 

I'm 24 he is 34. I am not sure about his past relationships, sometimes I am sure he hasn't had much affection given to him. We have similar backgrounds lol.

 

But yeah he rarely kisses me. I think I will discuss it with him tonight. Hope it goes well.

[Ruby Slippers]

for 2 years we were friends with benefits

I hate to say it, but it seems to me that maybe you still are.

 

You definitely need to ask him about it. Not wanting to kiss you often is not a good sign.

[Jilly Bean]

So, you have sex and he doesn't even kiss you DURING sex?

 

I gotta tell ya. It sounds like Dr. Poo Breath to me. His breath would take paint off a wall. AND HE HAD NO CLUE.

 

If he's affectionate otherwise, but won't kiss you, I'm thinking it's your breath.

 

If you have some type of systemic condition, no amount of brushing and scraping will cure that. Same thing if you are in need of dental work.

 

Beyond that, the only people I know who have sex and don't kiss are hookers.

[whichwayisup]

I'm a bit shy to ask why he doesn't kiss me.

 

If you have sex with the guy, you should be able to ask him why he won't kiss you.

 

for 2 years we were friends with benefits, then for 8 months we broke it off cause he was chatting on-line with a 45 year old grandma whore.

 

I have a theory but I don't think you'll like it..

 

You say you're 24 and he's 34. He may not be in the same frame of mind about the relationship as you. Meaning, it isn't as serious to him as it is to you, and he knows that kissing is very intimate (well, sex is too ofcourse) so kissing seals the deal and brings on the deeper feelings. You went from friends, to FWB, to boyfriend/girlfriend.

 

Gotta ask, the 46 year old. Is it just her or all women that age?

[I love chocolate]

It could be that he is still really into the 46 year old woman. It doesn't sound like he is really invested in you that much.

 

Don't diss the age, I mean the age difference between you and him is about the same as between him and the other woman.

[waleen]

Touched in, as in, went how far exactly?

 

If you gave him like a hand job, he probably didn't find it appropriate to kiss you. I say you be the brave one and just kiss him again! Boys love confidence, you know!

[LolitaAnastasia]

Thanks for your answers,

I must respond.

 

Jilly I don't have bad breath, if I did I am sure the kids I work with as a teacher's aide would tell me. Kids can be honest.

 

Well I didn't intitate that we were dating. My boyfriend was the one who said I was his girlfriend. (I was in shock when he said that). When I'm talking about my friend with her boyfriend he says "Well tell her your boyfriend (refering to himself) likes to take you out to the movies".

 

Oh he is over the old grandma whore, I mean really she dumped him via his mother. Grandmawhore called my boyfriend's parents house and spoke to his mother and told his mother over the phone that she didn't want a relationship with my boyfriend cause she had to think of her daughter and her new grandchild. (Funny thing was when she was ****ing my boyfriend she didn't even think one moment of her other four kids).

 

After that my boyfriend was chasing me, he also calls me alot now days. Actually he kissed me the other night while where having sex. So things might be looking up.

[Shygirl15]

Oh he is over the old grandma whore, I mean really she dumped him via his mother. Grandmawhore called my boyfriend's parents house and spoke to his mother and told his mother over the phone that she didn't want a relationship with my boyfriend cause she had to think of her daughter and her new grandchild. (Funny thing was when she was ****ing my boyfriend she didn't even think one moment of her other four kids).

 

She hasn't really done anything bad to you, has she? And you're teaching little kids, you say?

[LolitaAnastasia]

Hey Shygirl,

 

No she hasn't done anything to me, it's just here is the scenerio, If you were chatting to a guy younger then you online for say 5 to 6 months, you told him you have FIVE kids, three of which has different fathers.

That your teen daughter is having a baby etc.

The guy seems interested in you, but you find out a week before he meets you that he was just let out of a mental unit.

Would you let him come to meet you where you have FIVE kids aged from 6 to 17 at your home? Would you spread your legs for him when you have just met him that day?

 

SHE DID IT.

 

Tell me she isn't a grandma whore.

 

Also at the time my boyfriend was in a fragile state, when he came back home after three weeks, he was making plans in his mind to move back up interstate to be with her. He even was going to change his licence, register his car in that state and look for a job so he could help pay for the rent.

 

She led him on from July to early January when she dropped the bombshell to his mother that she didn't want to be with him. Knowing full well that my boyfriend was mentally ill.

 

I knew he was mentally ill, because I visited him in the mental unit when I found out he was in there, I cried because I was in shock. I had known him for two years proir to him being in a mental unit and I was very close to him.

 

When I work with kids I am professional I do not swear nor do I talk about such things. I am there to help children with their work.

[Capricciosa]

nt to be with him. Knowing full well that my boyfriend was mentally ill.

 

I knew he was mentally ill, because I visited him in the mental unit when I found out he was in there, I cried because I was in shock. I had known him for two years proir to him being in a mental unit and I was very close to him.

 

If you're going out with someone mentally ill, I hate to say it, but there are probably bigger problems than whether he will kiss you or not. And your judgement and language about that other woman are offensive. She had her reasons, as do you. And not that the mentally ill don't deserve love, but really, what either of you expect from him given what you know boggles my mind. In her grandma-whore wisdom, she at least knew enough to step away. Maybe you should too.

[stillafool]

I have to say - Grandma whore or not - your boyfriend seemed really in love with her if he was going to do all of that. Don't underestimate GW's sex appeal, a 46 year old woman could show a 34 year old man a thing or two in the sack.

[Shygirl15]

If you're going out with someone mentally ill, I hate to say it, but there are probably bigger problems than whether he will kiss you or not. And your judgement and language about that other woman are offensive. She had her reasons, as do you. And not that the mentally ill don't deserve love, but really, what either of you expect from him given what you know boggles my mind. In her grandma-whore wisdom, she at least knew enough to step away. Maybe you should too.

 

From the ways she talks, one can clearly tell why she's not getting that kiss..

[LolitaAnastasia]

I have to say - Grandma whore or not - your boyfriend seemed really in love with her if he was going to do all of that. Don't underestimate GW's sex appeal, a 46 year old woman could show a 34 year old man a thing or two in the sack.

 

Don't get me wrong, I think Susan Sarandon is hot for her age lol and I love Alan Rickman who is in his early 60s.

 

As I have said previously I have known him for three years. I accept him wither he is ill or not.

 

But seriously how can you find a recovering heroin addict sexy. He did say to my cousin that I was way better looking then her drug addled arse.

[whichwayisup]

I think the anger you feel about the older woman is really anger towards your bf. Taking it on her and making it seem like it was ALL her is crap. It takes two to tango, he knew what he was doing or he was just following his heart.

 

You're pissed at the wrong person.

[LolitaAnastasia]

Don't get me wrong, I think Susan Sarandon is hot for her age lol and I love Alan Rickman who is in his early 60s.

 

As I have said previously I have known him for three years. I accept him wither he is ill or not.

 

But seriously how can you find a recovering heroin addict sexy. He did say to my cousin that I was way better looking then her drug addled arse.

 

Shygirl, I don't speak like this when I am around him. As I said I keep my thoughts seperated. Professionally I don't swear or talk of such things. When I am with him I don't mention GW. The only people that know I talk like this is my cousin and you guys.

[LolitaAnastasia]

I think the anger you feel about the older woman is really anger towards your bf. Taking it on her and making it seem like it was ALL her is crap. It takes two to tango, he knew what he was doing or he was just following his heart.

 

You're pissed at the wrong person.

 

He knows that I was peed off at him, the reason I was angry was because I told him how I felt the day after he went to meet her. He told me that it was a friend of his so I was oblivious to the intentions.

A few days later he told my cousin that he slept with this woman the night he met her. (I thought she had a screw loose in her head for doing such a thing). Then he proceeded to brag that this woman was a great lover and that I was a crap root. I have only slept with two men, I lost my virginity to a virgin and my boyfriend is the second guy I slept with so I had not much experience. It hurt me so much cause it took me a lot of courage to tell him how I felt. Then to have it slapped back into my face that he thought that this drug addled woman was better then me.

 

He knows how I felt cause I sent an email after telling him that the reason she was good in bed was cause she was spreading her legs to get money for her drugs. Hey I even told him it disgusted me that he was with a woman that was older then my own parents. Then I said to him, think before he acted because there was children involved. He only went up there for three weeks and the youngest (6) got very attached to him. Obviously it would of hurt those kids especially when they started to get used to him.

[Shygirl15]

Shygirl, I don't speak like this when I am around him. As I said I keep my thoughts seperated. Professionally I don't swear or talk of such things. When I am with him I don't mention GW. The only people that know I talk like this is my cousin and you guys.

 

Yes, I'm sure you don't Lolita, but using such language here can be offensive to some, too. And this woman is really not your enemy, why name-calling someone who hasn't done anything to you?

[whichwayisup]

You don't know this other woman yet you HATE her and are so jealous. ALL your anger IS mis-directed! It also shows that you think you're better than her. Obviously this woman had some problems in her life, like everyone but it seems she's OK, I mean she has family, kids, grandchildren - And she IS secure, hense HER choice to have sex with him. MANY people have sex on the first date, or first time meeting, that doesn't make her a slut or him a slut.

 

The real issue is, your bf isnt' inlove with you and you're upset that he has feelings for this other woman, which makes you think you're better than her because her life may not be on the same page as yours.

 

He knows how I felt cause I sent an email after telling him that the reason she was good in bed was cause she was spreading her legs to get money for her drugs. Hey I even told him it disgusted me that he was with a woman that was older then my own parents. Then I said to him, think before he acted because there was children involved. He only went up there for three weeks and the youngest (6) got very attached to him. Obviously it would of hurt those kids especially when they started to get used to him.

You're completely out of line telling him all this stuff, no wonder he doesn't want to kiss you. His past and what he has done in the past is NONE of your business.

[LolitaAnastasia]

Well I do give nicknames to people that annoy me. It's just me and I apologise for my swearing.

[LolitaAnastasia]

You don't know this other woman yet you HATE her and are so jealous. ALL your anger IS mis-directed! It also shows that you think you're better than her. Obviously this woman had some problems in her life, like everyone but it seems she's OK, I mean she has family, kids, grandchildren - And she IS secure, hense HER choice to have sex with him. MANY people have sex on the first date, or first time meeting, that doesn't make her a slut or him a slut.

 

The real issue is, your bf isnt' inlove with you and you're upset that he has feelings for this other woman, which makes you think you're better than her because her life may not be on the same page as yours.

 

 

You're completely out of line telling him all this stuff, no wonder he doesn't want to kiss you. His past and what he has done in the past is NONE of your business.

 

As I said I don't tell him my thoughts on this now, this event happened last year.

 

Of course it wasn't my business but he was the one to brag about it and I had to listen to it. Do you understand the pain it is to listen to someone that you have feelings for brag about being with a person like that.

 

Everyone has a hard life. I too had a hardlife, I was born premmie, my grandparents raised me because my own parents couldn't look after me. In my childhood I was sickly, going to various doctors, and had to deal with prejudices, from people who thought that I was a dunderhead and I couldn't do anything for myself. I endured bulling verbal and physical in school for both my mixed race and my illness.

 

But I don't brag. Hey my BF had a hard life too, his brother was favoured over him by his alcoholic mother.

 

Now I'm in my third year at University studying via distance education. I am a teacher's aide and I do a lot in the community. I get a lot of distinctions for my work that I do for Uni.