celinedion1 Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 Will you please tell me why my exs friend is sooooo involved in my ex boyfriends life? So i just got off the phone with my ex, we're not together however we still see each other on a regular basis. Anyway so my ex was supposed to call me when he got home safe from leaving my house over 6 hours ago, its now 130am. My ex went to go hang out with a friend of his, however now his friend doesnt want my ex boyfriend and I do be in each others lives. His friend doesnt want my ex to talk to me or spend time with me or have anything to do with me. When I asked my ex boyfriend why he told me because he doesnt want my ex boyfriend falling into a deep hole. It's none of his business who my ex has in his life or who he talks to. To make things even worse my ex boyfriend thinks this guy is great and values his opinion over everyone elses. Im just so pissed off because my ex and I have known each other for almost 10 years and now my exs friend is trying to break up our friendship and push me completely out of my ex boyfriend/ my best friends life. Please respond with some advice I certainly could use it right now.
Davey McG Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 It sounds like your ex's friend is telling him to go No Contact with you. If your ex values his opinion and friendship then he'll likely listen to his close friend over an ex. Don't be angry at the friend - he's only doing what he thinks best for your ex. Is it possible that you not seeing each other is for the best?
SweetTux Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 It seems your ex's friend is trying to give your ex some good advice. I believe that your ex is still not over you and its hurting him that you two see each other on a regular basis but are not together. Maybe from his point of view he just keeps trying hard to make you happy and get you back in his life but it does not work and he is not sure if he can be just a good friend of yours and not a lover. I am actually kind of in the same situation. My ex and I always got into fights but still she always wanted me around to help her whenever you had problems or needed to vent or just go out. I had to go NC with her recently but its not working out very well. I am not sure if you or your ex was the one that ended things. I'm just saying from my point of view that it just make be that he can't handle being so close to you but not have you the way he wants.
Angel1111 Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 If your ex values what the two of you have, he can't be talked into walking away from that. If he does follow that advice, he probably won't be able to do it for very long, or if he makes that decision then it probably means it was a decision that was best for him and he knows that. I wouldn't worry about it. You can't control what other people tell your ex-bf and you can't control how he reacts to it. So leave it alone and let him do what he chooses to do and don't make an issue out of it he decides to walk away.
Author celinedion1 Posted August 8, 2008 Author Posted August 8, 2008 Well my ex told me that its just this guys opinion, my ex's friend told my ex to not have anything to do with me over a month ago (however my ex and I continue to see each other on a regular basis). I guess I know how my ex feels about me and about his friends opinion. I'm glad to know that hes not following this guys "advice". Honestly I feel like its none of this guys business who my ex has in his life and who he doesn't. Oh well I guess I shouldnt worry about it and i know how my ex and I feel about each other. Thanks for the advice
0hpenelope Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 Will you please tell me why my exs friend is sooooo involved in my ex boyfriends life? Well, I think that... Oh, hold on. I think you've got it. ...now his friend doesnt want my ex boyfriend and I do be in each others lives. His friend doesnt want my ex to talk to me or spend time with me or have anything to do with me. When I asked my ex boyfriend why he told me because he doesnt want my ex boyfriend falling into a deep hole. So... that answers your question. But this, though. I have some misgivings about it. It's none of his business who my ex has in his life or who he talks to. It's a friend's business who his/her friends have in their life but to an extent. Anyone who I think is causing a friend pain, I would want my friend to avoid in a heartbeat. It's awesome to see that you and your ex-bf are working things out as friends, yet you can't fault his friend for caring. I'll call his friend Bob. Bob can't stop your ex-bf from doing anything, but Bob can sure as heck express how he feels about it. It sounds like you're just upset. You're justified, too - and so is Bob. You say that you know how you and your best friend feel about each other, so don't get too upset with Bob. It's going to take a while for Bob to see your perspective and even if he doesn't at all, you and your best friend will still be friends. Going by what Angel1111 says, it's up to your best friend: he's still your best friend, right? If he walks away from the friendship... let him go.
Author celinedion1 Posted August 9, 2008 Author Posted August 9, 2008 Well, I think that... Oh, hold on. I think you've got it. So... that answers your question. But this, though. I have some misgivings about it. It's a friend's business who his/her friends have in their life but to an extent. Anyone who I think is causing a friend pain, I would want my friend to avoid in a heartbeat. It's awesome to see that you and your ex-bf are working things out as friends, yet you can't fault his friend for caring. I'll call his friend Bob. Bob can't stop your ex-bf from doing anything, but Bob can sure as heck express how he feels about it. It sounds like you're just upset. You're justified, too - and so is Bob. You say that you know how you and your best friend feel about each other, so don't get too upset with Bob. It's going to take a while for Bob to see your perspective and even if he doesn't at all, you and your best friend will still be friends. Going by what Angel1111 says, it's up to your best friend: he's still your best friend, right? If he walks away from the friendship... let him go. Yes he and I are still best friends. I just wish that this guy wasn't so involved and so controlling over my ex's life. Bob has caused problems in the past and has even tried to break us up when we were together and were engaged. Bob told my ex that he didn't want him to be in my life cause he didnt want my ex/best friend to end up getting me pregnant. Then to make things worse my ex/best friend, told me that Bob has a point. I know Bob has a right to his opinion but he just seems to have too much control over my ex's/best friends life. My ex and I are tring to work everything out to see if one day we could be together. However it's kind of hard when Bob is right in the middle of it all.
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