MuNky Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 My girlfriend and I have been together for about 1 year now and been living together for 6 months. We met in my home country and she decided to go back hers to study so I came along, that is why we started living together. She has been mopey for about two weeks and she avoided my queries. Finally two days ago she told me. She is not in love with me anymore. She still loves me, but more like a friend. She now turns away when we kiss and said that she doesn't get turned on by me anymore. She told me that she started feeling like this for 2 months now. Now I have to confess. I have slipped up on my chores in the household the last 2 months. She got frustrated and either did it herself, or left it until I came around a few days later since we started tripping over clothes on the floor etc. I also have a terrible temper sometimes and when angry I treated her badly, with cold comments and shunning her hugs. This behaviour has been more the last 3 or so months. I always apologized afterwards. I asked her what she doesn't like about me and she mentioned the above two points. I promised I will change and I will prove my worth. She agreed but her shunning my affection hurt. When I say I love her she only says "I know you do" now, instead of telling me back she loves me. She says she doesn't see a long term future for us, and argues that there is no point in our relationship. She used to say differently before the dark 2-3 months. Is there hope for us? Can I fix this? My life doesn't make sense without her so I will be utterly devestated when our relationship ends.
LovehateLove Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 Let’s assess the situation here. It sounds like this relationship was built on a large proportion of impulse. You meet and then move to another country and move straight in with her. That’s a huge commitment right there and it’s not something I’d be comfortable with and I’m a laidback person. So the reason she has become disillusioned with your relationship is because you have a bad temper which is uncontrolled, you have become bone idle and as a result of your temper, you treated her like sod. She has a right to feel the way she does, don’t you think? You really crushed her feelings every time you lashed out at her with your cold comments and then shunned her want for affection. Add that with your lack of responsibility around the house is it any wonder she has decided enough is enough? I also don’t believe for a second that she loved you, because all relationships have ups and downs, but it takes a couple who are really in love much more than two months of hardships before one of the couplet decides to walk. Especially when there are relationship counselling and anger management courses available in most parts of the world. Can your relationship be fixed? Yes, of course it can be fixed, it is not beyond repair, but it will take a lot of work from your part to ensure the trust and spark is put back into the relationship. I suggest you become more proactive around the house, not just for a few months, but for the rest of the relationship (if she takes you back) and if she does take you back the I suggest relation ship counselling to help your relationship and you need a lengthy course of anger management control, because your temper will only get worse as the relationship spirals in a downward motion.
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