Turtlelover28 Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 as you know my exbf of 2 years or so i thought i was in a relationship told me someone women asked to marry him, i was hurt but i wanted him happy so i said i wish them luck and told him 6 months to a year we can talk again and be friends, i need to heal myself and keeping in contacting wont make me heal, well its been one month since i talked to him, and to my suprise he imed me yesterday on yahoo messenger, we had a short conversation he was asking me about my social life why did he ask about that, then he asked what i was working this weekend, then he said if you are bored maybe we can talk that i dont understand why he said that cause we are on messenger talking i thought, and then at the end of the convo he said it was nice talking to you. So why is he contacting me? do you think hes missing me and maybe wants to work things out? I told him we can talk in 6 months to a year and here it is a month later and hes contacting ME!! What is your input on this?
sweetbutcheeky Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 I remember reading that post. I didn't quite understand if he wanted to marry her or if she just asked him. Was he telling you she asked, he loved her and they were getting married? Anyone could ask him but it doesn't mean it's a reason to break off a relationship. I could walk down the street and ask any guy to marry me.
Walk Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 He's contacting you because he wants to talk to you. Potentially he may also want to continue dating you, but you'd really have to ask him to know the correct answer on that. However... if you've already told him not to contact you for 6 months, and he IM'd you, then he's not taking what you want or how you feel into consideration. He seems to be on his own game plan. You have the control over the situation. If you do not want to talk to him, then don't. Block his IM's, don't answer the phone, block his emails, etc. Don't respond and eventually he'll stop contacting you. The only person who can make that happen is you. If you choose to respond to him, then you're just as much responsible for the problem as he is. Anyway... your actions say that you aren't serious about no contact (for 6-12 months). Your actions say that what you really want is to keep this guy in your life as more then a platonic friend. You are sending mixed messages. You tell him you don't wish to speak with him for x amount of time, (I believe) you broke up with him, and now you're happily chatting away with him on IM. That doesn't send a consistent message. Sounds to me like you aren't sure what you want. And you probably should take some time to figure that out BEFORE you take any further action with this guy. I think you're guy knows you have weak boundaries, and he's taking advantage of that fact.
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