judy Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 can a cheater change for good? cheated once with an office mate, then left her for another woman, and had 3 kids from those three women. The first is origianl wife, the second is the office mate, and third is the another woman ( a korean woman). Now they broke up (the white male and korean) and he chase the office mate and want to start a stable family life with her. And he said he is changing. Is it true? Can he change for good?
critter909 Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 From the little info in your post I would say definitely not in this case! I hope you are not the woman looking for the serious relationship with him.
sultry33 Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 Is there any chance he might change? going on what you wrote there.. i very much doubt it i used to cheat in most of my prev rs and i think you only change when you feel the pain they went through.. ie they cheat on you.. for me i was insecure and had issues where i wanted to sabbotage the rs.. yes i felt bad .. still do and id never do it to another again..
stolenheart123 Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 cheaters can change, but THEY have to want to change. You cannot force them to change. No one will change unless they want to. If people go along and accept them for their behavior then there are no consequences. People can change if they want to. Sometimes being young you want to explore the world, but if your older and you havent stopped doing it, then its really hard to say.
Trialbyfire Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 This guy sounds like a serial cheater. Always look to past patterns of behaviour before getting involved with anyone. This is a high, high risk candidate to give your heart to. RUN!
Chinook Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 RUN! As far, and as fast as you can... ... but we all here know you ain't going to do that, otherwise you wouldn't have posted if you weren't already heavily invested in him. That's okay, we'll be here for the aftermath too. Hopefully though, he'll WANT to change.
Trialbyfire Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 As far, and as fast as you can... ... but we all here know you ain't going to do that, otherwise you wouldn't have posted if you weren't already heavily invested in him. That's okay, we'll be here for the aftermath too. Hopefully though, he'll WANT to change.You bet! LS will be here for a long time to come. Some of us have had experiences with cheaters and only wished we had your fore-knowledge of such, so we also could have run away as far and as fast as humanly possible! Don't throw away this good, solid fore-knowledge, for a wish and more likely, a devastated heart.
OpenBook Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 can a cheater change for good? cheated once with an office mate, then left her for another woman, and had 3 kids from those three women. The first is origianl wife, the second is the office mate, and third is the another woman ( a korean woman). Now they broke up (the white male and korean) and he chase the office mate and want to start a stable family life with her. And he said he is changing. Is it true? Can he change for good? Probably not with the office mate. Since he has already cheated on her and got away with it, he will most likely repeat the same pattern with HER. But not necessarily with someone else. But who cares what he's going to do? I can't believe ANYONE would take this guy back!!
Crestfallen_KH Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 It doesn't seem likely for this guy - it seems as if there are certain aspects missing from this guy's personality and makeup that would make it possible for him to stop. Never think you're so special that he'll change for YOU. His cheating ways have absolutely nothing to do with his partners (meaning, they didn't CAUSE this guy to cheat, no matter how horrible he may make them out to be), and EVERYTHING to do with him. He will only change when he WANTS to change. Frankly, the fact that he seems completely unable to slap on a condom and take responsibility not to drop his seed with every gal he's been with would have been enough to send me running for the hills. I'm sorry, this is a pretty easy call - definitely a broken-heart scenario, methinks.
White Flower Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 This guy does sound serial to me. If he is young he has not played it all out yet. I do have hope (without hope what do we have?) that people can change, but like another poster said, they have to want it. Cheers.
twice_shy Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 can a cheater change for good? cheated once with an office mate, then left her for another woman, and had 3 kids from those three women. The first is origianl wife, the second is the office mate, and third is the another woman ( a korean woman). Now they broke up (the white male and korean) and he chase the office mate and want to start a stable family life with her. And he said he is changing. Is it true? Can he change for good? No, he is a lying sack of feces.
lovestruck818 Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 can a cheater change for good? cheated once with an office mate, then left her for another woman, and had 3 kids from those three women. The first is origianl wife, the second is the office mate, and third is the another woman ( a korean woman). Now they broke up (the white male and korean) and he chase the office mate and want to start a stable family life with her. And he said he is changing. Is it true? Can he change for good? anyone change enough if they want to.
porter218 Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 can a cheater change for good? cheated once with an office mate, then left her for another woman, and had 3 kids from those three women. The first is origianl wife, the second is the office mate, and third is the another woman ( a korean woman). Now they broke up (the white male and korean) and he chase the office mate and want to start a stable family life with her. And he said he is changing. Is it true? Can he change for good? He doesn't even know the meaning of stable. I beleive cheaters can change and sometimes the occasional serial cheater can change, otherwise I wouldn't be trying to work it out with my H. However the chances are slim with men like yours, he is in the serial cheater category...so be prepared to be cheated on a few more times before he actually does change..if ever. What is the age difference in these 3 kids?
Trialbyfire Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 Many cheaters including serial cheaters, use the bridging technique or exit affair. In order to break free of the last person since they're not emotionally strong enough to go it alone, they have an affair(s). Most often, you'll find that serial cheaters just like to have their cake and eat it too. It's all about them. The same can be applied to many other cheaters, regardless of serial or otherwise.
porter218 Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 Wow, he just kept it rolling . It sounds like another woman is due to turn up pregnant very soon. Just guard your heart with this man, and watch his actions instead of listening to his words.
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