echoplex Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 I will start off by saying that this is not an issue with myself, but with a friend of mine that I have a general concern for. So this guy is basically my best friend and he's in a bit of a situation that's been keeping him down for a long time. It's really gone on too long now, and I'm really tired of him being like this. I was wondering if there is anything I could do, or if I shoud do anything to help him. A few months back he got involved in his very first "relationship", I guess you could call it, and it has really messed him up with the way things have gone down. He pretty much gave into temptation with a bit of a whore, but I feel that's even too nice of a way to describe her. I was telling him of my concerns of his situation the minute he was supposedly "in" the relationship, after I had gotten all the facts. This woman he was/is seeing is 24 years old; you would think a grown up. But she is not much of one. He is only 17. I was a little uneasy just to hear that. But, on top of that, it turns out she IS MARRIED already... and HAS A KID of only a few months old. She started flirting with my friend at their place of business, as she was the manager of the place. One thing led to another, and she started taking him on "dates" as they put it, behind her husbands back. She is clearly not right in the head, and not a very logical person. Especially risking loosing her child, and her marriage too with a well-to-do landscaper husband. Yet they insisted on forming a relationship. Well it wasn't long after that, that she took his virginity as well, claiming to "like guys with no experience" as he had said to me. I believe that it was even unprotected sex, as he was worried he might have gotten her pregnant. By this point he had become delusional and obsessed with her. He was sure they were going to get married and he was going to raise her child. Then she got fired from the workplace because of the word getting around about the two. Likely at this point the husband grew suspicious and he was. Claiming that he knew she was up to something, and that she was not going to take his child. Something of this nature happened, but I'm not sure what. Because at this point, she either got her head on straight, or maybe woke up and realized what it was she was doing, attempting to reck several lives. So she split, and went with her husband somewhere and never called or messaged my friend back. Except for one time and it was a message that was supposidly questionalable as to who it was really from. He only discribed it as a "hurtful and nasty" message. Even since then he has not been the same. Waiting for her to come back to him, and get married and all this unrealistic junk that he had in his head. For more than a month now he has been moping and pouting around, not wanting to hang out or ever do anything. Constantly stating that his life is so confusing and messed up and that he's so tortured and depressed. I'm starting to really get sick of this attitude from him. I wan't him to snap out of it; let it go. But he still claims that he doesn't want to ever let it go. He is holding on to the very last thread of hope until it snaps. It's warped him, changed him for the worse. I could probably understand how this has effected him so much. As I've dissected the all the reasons he is so lost and clingy, knowning him and his personality like I do. He pretty much grew up in a rough family and home. Parents were far from as good as they needed to be. Both druggies and non-caring people. In recent years the father is a bit more stable, no drugs, but still not the father he should be. His mother is beyond messed up on drugs, and she is out of her mind at this point. He himself however, thankfully never got into any of that, and is not much like his parents. But I really think his whole situation is not starting him down the right path to a better life than what his parents have led. Definitely not. Now, this sad excuse for a woman is the only person who he's ever felt really cared about him in his life, and she has done a number on him. He deserves so much better. I told him this from the start, but he is so dilusional that he can't see it. I really don't know what I could do to help him get better, to get over her and to realize he doesn't need crap like her in his life, especially this early on. But I don't know if I should, even if I could do something. I really hate seeing him like this. We talk much less, never doing anything, and he's just always at home crying and moping around. It's a sickening display. Even I'm getting frusterated now... I don't know what to do! Anyone with any advice? Or with experience in a situation like this? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
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