frownyface42 Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 but i had a long term girl... well its kinda like 1-2 years together (deeply in love), 4 years together with no labels kinda thing... We broke up (she started it and broke my heart)... but then stayed with eachother, just not as BF/GF. I was afraid to hurt her again if I found someone new... and was kinda scared she wanted me just because I didn't commit to her, and that the second I did commit she would either realize she didn't want me, or I would find someone new... So I was afraid of hurting her, and afraid of being hurt... We still had a good relationship... we never really fought that much. It went well because we never talked about our relationship which in hindsight iseems to be our downfall... Our lack of communication got me scared when she would say she loved me. I would get scared and not talk to her for a week or so. So this happend like 3 or 4 months ago... I got scared, left and didn't talk to her for a while. I always told her I needed space, but never really got any (just a week or 2 and then she would call again). So after a few months I start calling her again and we hang out... nothing special. I find out a week later or so that she has a new BF for about a month (this has never happned before) so I tried to be happy and texted her i was happy for her... but it soon started to eat me from the inside. We went to lunch to talk about it, she said she's happy... but they don't care about eachother yet, its not that serious. I told her I was happy for her and that she needs this (cause she's been trying to be with me for 4 years and I keep saying "not yet"). So now I'm trying to deal with this and all I get is regret that I didn't get back with her within the 4 years she had been waiting. At the same time I'm not too convinced she is over me, but having a new BF may help her not think about me. I texted her last week saying "i miss you" and she said something back like "don't think its easy for me not to talk to you, but i think its for the best." I wasn't even aware at the time I wasn't being talked to... but I guess I was... So now this girl who has been trying very hard to win me back for 4 years won't talk to me... She met her alleged BF at her new work (but I never see pics of her with him on facebook or anything when they are out which seems to be confusing)... I can't tell if this girl is for sure over me... if I even want her back (cause i haven't for 4 years)... if she even has a BF or is just trying to torture me for everything i've done to her... but anyway the cookie crumbles... I'm pretty misearable and can't think of anything but her (its exhausting). It kinda seems like we met in the middle... one of us stepped outside of this cirlce, and now both of us can never be inside it at the same time... Its either me not wanting to be with her... or now her not wanting to be with me. I guess the only difference is I would still hang out with her when she asked me to. It sucks how she just turned the tables on me... I feel like I am feeling what she went through when i dated some girl for a summer and made her go crazy. So maybe its fair she is doing this to me? And maybe she will be back?
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