Author Jilly Bean Posted August 7, 2008 Author Posted August 7, 2008 Well put, JB. What is it about online dating that magnifies a person's ugly Narcissism? By reducing relationship criteria to text, the online dater often sounds like an egotistical jerk. Men are not as adept as women in tempering their vanity. Well, back to Match. Or more likely, Grog, it enables some to mask insecurities. I mean, you can be anyone online, right? The intelligent lothario type, the Alan Alda with muscles...
audrey_1 Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 i am weird and different, you have to have a brain otherwise it is a no go with me. :love::love:
Lizzie60 Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 come on now.. what do WE expect from dating sites.. a lot of men are on these sites just to get laid.. simple.. a lot are married.. so they send messages without posting their pictures. Women who post their pictures showing their big boobs.. will get tons of messages.. from men who want sex.. YES.. men who want sex... Women who don't want that kind of messages, need to just post a picture of their face.. not their bodies.. I'm not so sure they would get as many responses though... Reality is that men on those sites, even for those who want a relationship.. also want sex...
audrey_1 Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 Or more likely, Grog, it enables some to mask insecurities. I mean, you can be anyone online, right? The intelligent lothario type, the Alan Alda with muscles... But the flip to this, yes, people can be whomever they like online, and then have NO personality when you meet IRL. What if they're skilled writers, with absolutely no presence? That could be true of any and all of us posting on this blog right now!
You'reasian Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 Male here. I've tried looking for relationships, but the ladies seem hesitant when this is presented upfront so I just completely threw that out of the window, go out have fun and I've been dating alot of different beautiful women, some who could be relationship potential - I am currently dating this really, really cool woman who is funny, caring and looks like a certain female actor from Wayne's World... It actually feels better going out, having fun and not worrying about relationships - this coming from a guy that use to try for relationships.
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 7, 2008 Author Posted August 7, 2008 But the flip to this, yes, people can be whomever they like online, and then have NO personality when you meet IRL. What if they're skilled writers, with absolutely no presence? That could be true of any and all of us posting on this blog right now! GASP! Say it ain't so! lol But that's the point to people who "fall in love" online before ever meeting. You never know.
You'reasian Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 What if they're skilled writers, with absolutely no presence? That could be true of any and all of us posting on this blog right now! Sounds like me I'm afraid.... I'm boring - really.
audrey_1 Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 GASP! Say it ain't so! lol But that's the point to people who "fall in love" online before ever meeting. You never know. I truly don't see how you could fall in love with someone simply through the internet, even with images. But that's just me.
bigmanpayne Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 :love::love: hey, don't fall in love with me - i told you i dont do girlfriends... unless you have a brain then we can talk!
bigmanpayne Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 I truly don't see how you could fall in love with someone simply through the internet, even with images. But that's just me. yeah that's bogus - not possible. maybe fall in lust - maybe fall in "dream" but no love.
bigmanpayne Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 Male here. I've tried looking for relationships, but the ladies seem hesitant when this is presented upfront so I just completely threw that out of the window, go out have fun and I've been dating alot of different beautiful women, some who could be relationship potential - I am currently dating this really, really cool woman who is funny, caring and looks like a certain female actor from Wayne's World... It actually feels better going out, having fun and not worrying about relationships - this coming from a guy that use to try for relationships. preach brother! The Tom Leykis school of dating is in full effect!
grogster Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 come on now.. what do WE expect from dating sites.. a lot of men are on these sites just to get laid.. simple.. a lot are married.. so they send messages without posting their pictures. Women who post their pictures showing their big boobs.. will get tons of messages.. from men who want sex.. YES.. men who want sex... Women who don't want that kind of messages, need to just post a picture of their face.. not their bodies.. I'm not so sure they would get as many responses though... Reality is that men on those sites, even for those who want a relationship.. also want sex... Lizzie, you continue functioning well as the Shack's collective Id. And, as always, you speak the uncomfortable truth.
Lizzie60 Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 Lizzie, you continue functioning well as the Shack's collective Id. And, as always, you speak the uncomfortable truth. Thanks Grogs.. but Vonerik said it much better than I did.. she was right on..
jerbear Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 What does this statement in an OLD profile mean? I am not sure that I am looking for a serious relationship, just looking to have some fun. I am not opposed to a serious relationship with the right person but I am very picky. Politician... he is flip flopping on the issues. Honestly, I think he is looking for FWB's and hoping a "chickie" would chase him while he decides.
vonerik012 Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 come on now.. what do WE expect from dating sites.. a lot of men are on these sites just to get laid.. simple.. a lot are married.. so they send messages without posting their pictures. Women who post their pictures showing their big boobs.. will get tons of messages.. from men who want sex.. YES.. men who want sex... Women who don't want that kind of messages, need to just post a picture of their face.. not their bodies.. I'm not so sure they would get as many responses though... Reality is that men on those sites, even for those who want a relationship.. also want sex... Exactly... Women separate men into "gentlemen" and "creeps looking for sex". During different times of the day, week, month or depending on whom he is speaking to, that same man will want different things. It's almost impossible NOT to get turned on when you go to a dating site and see hundreds of women, a large percentage being scantilly clad. Breasts hanging out, tight pants, short skirt, etc. It is in our nature to want that. We would be gay if we did not want that. And very true.. The women who are very conservative will get little attention. You can go to Plenty of fish, and notice the ugliest women who are looking for just sex will be added to over 300 peoples favorites list. Almost all of these men who added the above woman are ALSO seeking a real relationship.
bigmanpayne Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 Exactly... Women separate men into "gentlemen" and "creeps looking for sex". During different times of the day, week, month or depending on whom he is speaking to, that same man will want different things. It's almost impossible NOT to get turned on when you go to a dating site and see hundreds of women, a large percentage being scantilly clad. Breasts hanging out, tight pants, short skirt, etc. It is in our nature to want that. We would be gay if we did not want that. And very true.. The women who are very conservative will get little attention. You can go to Plenty of fish, and notice the ugliest women who are looking for just sex will be added to over 300 peoples favorites list. Almost all of these men who added the above woman are ALSO seeking a real relationship. You are sooooo right. Pleny o Fish is a BEAST. There are just tons and tons and tons of pictures all different types of females, and u hit the nail on the head... the ones who show the most skin and have the sexiest pics get the most attention. face shots and women who are too picky get no love. it's harsh but true.
sfsassy Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 I'm of two minds on this. Because of my disability, many, many, many guys have seen me as asexual. I have had many "guy friends" who I have liked, but they couldn't deal with my diability, so there we go, lol. I like slightly sensual comments. like I have sultry eyes, or a sexy smile, or something like that. I don't like it when guys just tell me how much they like my personality, because that means they just see me as a friend material. However, just "nice bod" would get on my nerves, or if they only mentioned sexual stuff.
bigmanpayne Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 I'm of two minds on this. Because of my disability, many, many, many guys have seen me as asexual. I have had many "guy friends" who I have liked, but they couldn't deal with my diability, so there we go, lol. I like slightly sensual comments. like I have sultry eyes, or a sexy smile, or something like that. I don't like it when guys just tell me how much they like my personality, because that means they just see me as a friend material. However, just "nice bod" would get on my nerves, or if they only mentioned sexual stuff. so what do you want? you are talking out of both sides...
Lizzie60 Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 You are sooooo right. Pleny o Fish is a BEAST. There are just tons and tons and tons of pictures all different types of females, and u hit the nail on the head... the ones who show the most skin and have the sexiest pics get the most attention. face shots and women who are too picky get no love. it's harsh but true. This is exactly what I said too... Women who post their pictures showing their big boobs.. will get tons of messages.. from men who want sex.. YES.. men who want sex... Women who don't want that kind of messages, need to just post a picture of their face.. not their bodies.. I'm not so sure they would get as many responses though... Oups Vonerik.. I thought you were a female..
sfsassy Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 so what do you want? you are talking out of both sides... I want a relationship with sex, lol. I don't want someeone to like me just for my body. (and no one ever has, as my body is flawed) but I also dont want someone who just admires me for my great persoality. That means they don't see sex with me. I don't want someone to try to maul me on a first date, but I like it when guys tell me how beautiful, sexy I am on a first date. I don't like lude jokes, but I like subtly suggestive jokes. Like this one time a guy I like was helping me put leftovers in a box, and a spoon fell into the box, and he made this joke" It's not time for spooning, maybe soon, maybe very soon, but not yet". It was cute. It aknowledged his attraction to me in a light, humorous way, wthout going overboard.
sfsassy Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 Adding on, I wouldn't want someoe telling me I have nice boobs, or butt, or something like that, but saying "you have a sexy smile" with other personality stuff in the note, is nice. Guys have mentioned my personaality traits,our common interests but at the end will say something about my sultry eyes, sensual smile, something like that, and that is the note I like the best, with both personality and looks aknowledged. I will respond to a straight personality based note, but wouldn't to one that was all about my looks.
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 8, 2008 Author Posted August 8, 2008 Lizzie, you continue functioning well as the Shack's collective Id. And, as always, you speak the uncomfortable truth. I wouldn't say it is the uncomfortable truth, as more the obvious. Sex is a part of any relationship, and who would want a relationship WITHOUT it? But, it does come down to easily categorizing those that are looking for sex only, casual dating, or a relationship (including all the good stuff! lol) Other JB - yes, agreed. Let's say he was not looking for a "traditional courtship".
vonerik012 Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 I wouldn't say it is the uncomfortable truth, as more the obvious. Sex is a part of any relationship, and who would want a relationship WITHOUT it? But, it does come down to easily categorizing those that are looking for sex only, casual dating, or a relationship (including all the good stuff! lol) Other JB - yes, agreed. Let's say he was not looking for a "traditional courtship". Yes, it is easy to tell how they interact WITH YOU. The same man that emailed you for sex, 2 minutes earlier may have emailed a different girl for a relationship, or in a more traditional way. Or, a man that emailed you for a relationship, might have just emailed a woman for sex 30 seconds earlier. Single men online are not about to turn down sex, and only have a one tract mine for a "ltr" lol.
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 8, 2008 Author Posted August 8, 2008 Adding on, I wouldn't want someoe telling me I have nice boobs, or butt, or something like that, but saying "you have a sexy smile" with other personality stuff in the note, is nice. Guys have mentioned my personaality traits,our common interests but at the end will say something about my sultry eyes, sensual smile, something like that, and that is the note I like the best, with both personality and looks aknowledged. I will respond to a straight personality based note, but wouldn't to one that was all about my looks. Agreed! If a guy writes me something about my body, or face, I delete him (or, like this guy, write something ridiculous back if bored). Smile comments are nice, but beyond that, keep it on the up and up. Anything else is just smarmy.
bigmanpayne Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 Agreed! If a guy writes me something about my body, or face, I delete him (or, like this guy, write something ridiculous back if bored). Smile comments are nice, but beyond that, keep it on the up and up. Anything else is just smarmy. what about someone saying... you look good, or you are fine as hell? is that acceptable or is that a no-no?
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