peace_pipe Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 I first met this girl over a year ago. She was my neighbor and showed up on my doorstep one day. We hit it off pretty well and were inseperable for about 2 months. We did a lot of heavy petting, but everytime we were close to having sex, she would stop it. No big deal. Well, one day she confesses to me that she doesn't want a relationship. So I dropped her like a hot potato. Fast forward to over a year later. We bump into each other again. I had dated someone pretty seriously during the time apart. Well, it has basically been the same stuff all over again. Lately, she's been hanging out with a much younger girl friend, who is very immature and loose. Her friend really affects how she acts. Not to mention she will sit around and trash talk her friend everytime. Anyway, i have been playing it cool for a while. I've been letting her call me, etc. The problem is that she only seems to call whenever she has nothing else to do. I almost always answer the phone when she calls, but if I ever try to call her, it is pointless. Well the other eveing she called me. I asked her to call me back on my home phone, which she never did. I tried calling her back, but no answer. So I just walked over to her place and there she was standing in front of her apartment talking with two guys. Well, they left after I got there, then she invited me in. She proceeds to show me this note this guy had left. Apparently, he moved in above her and she went to introduce herself. Weird... I was like, "That's funny, that is the same way we met." Her- "It's not like that." Me- "Come on, you saw a cute guy moving in and you went up their to meet him." Her - "Did you see the note he left me? It looks like a 3rd grader wrote it." Shortly after this I told her I needed to leave to get some sleep. She told me several times that she had off work the next day and that she wanted me to call her. Well, tomorrow came and went. I called her twice with no response. I have been stweing over this for a while and it pissed me off. So I left her a note on her door. It read.... "I've grown tired of your childish games AGAIN. You've insulted my intelligence by expecting me to believe these little white lies that you tell. You have blown it with me! I only wish I had a CRAYON to write this with." Now I do feel somewhat bad, but I feel like she had it coming. I don't want to be her doormat and I think this will either make her wake and get real or go away for good. Dammit....
endlesstrains Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 It does sound like she is playing with you and keeping you as "backup"... but I don't see what's wrong with introducing yourself to your new neighbors. It's a friendly thing to do. The fact that she doesn't answer your calls and only calls you when she's bored is telling, though.
KinAZ Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 Well, I can understand wanting to be guarded, but I've also learned that being guarded... while protecting your ego on the outside, doesn't necessarily get you what you want. I don't know all the details, but it could be your "playing it cool" in the beginning that made her put you in a less than serious category this second time around. And then, when you decide to reach out a bit she does what you were doing. (Or at least that's the way it sounds from what you posted.) If you think she's that childish, so childish in fact that you had such an emotional response to her, why worry about her ever coming around? What's to say that if she started behaving better that she wouldn't cause just as many headaches during the dating process? You would do a better job waking her up by being honest, yet not letting her get away with any old thing. But, of course, that's always the hardest thing to do.
D-Lish Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 Just from what little you describe- it doesn't sound as if she is someone I would trust. At the very least, she is a bit flaky (I am assuming she is quite young). She's barely even halfway invested in being with you- that's pretty apparant. My bet is that she has more than one guy on the hook. I am glad you hit your boiling point and dumped her- no matter how you did it. She's clearly bad news.
bigmanpayne Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 Just from what little you describe- it doesn't sound as if she is someone I would trust. At the very least, she is a bit flaky (I am assuming she is quite young). She's barely even halfway invested in being with you- that's pretty apparant. My bet is that she has more than one guy on the hook. I am glad you hit your boiling point and dumped her- no matter how you did it. She's clearly bad news. Agreed. move on man. you'll never move up on her list... she already has you at the bottom it is just too tough to climb up. you are the last resort guy... go meet someone else who will at least put you in their top 3! Have some respect for yourself!
Jilly Bean Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 PP - I love you, man. The crayon comment was excellent. FWIW, I know it hurts right now, but you did the right thing. She was SO not worthy.
johan Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 I don't blame you for being annoyed. You spent a lot of time thinking about her, getting frustrated, and then you poured your emotions out on that note. You and millions of other guys would have responded the same way. What did it gain you? Nothing. What did it cost you? Emotional energy and the distraction of "stewing over it". Not to mention the shot to the ego that comes from allowing yourself to be fooled twice by the same girl. And the simple fact that she fooled you at all instead of being into you. It might help you to realize something about all this: she never owed you anything. She never even owed you common courtesy. She didn't owe you any level of regard for the feelings that you didn't hide very well. She could have chosen to give you those things, but she wasn't obligated to. So there is no point in getting upset with her, because she's also not obligated to pay any attention to that either. Whatever emotions you have about it all are going to be yours to deal with by yourself (in case you haven't noticed). Deep down, you know that you have yourself to blame for this. And that's probably where the frustration really comes from . You took her seriously the first time. And you took her seriously the second time as well. And that was something you didn't have to do. But you did, you put your feelings on the line twice, and you can't be upset with her for a risk you took all on your own. Next time, don't take someone seriously until they have proven to you that they take themselves and they also take you seriously. Don't put anything on the line. When you come across someone who flakes out on you, there's no reason to get upset. Just don't invest. You can still hang out with them and be polite and even have fun. But don't rely on them for even the smallest things. Then when something like this happens, you don't have feel upset or write an embarrassing note or want them to go away or anything. Water off your back. Invest wisely.
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