MaNg0s Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 8 Months ago I broke with my gf who I was with for 6 years. Then a few months later I met another girl I was with her for a month but due to the fact that she lived to far away and alot of differences between us we broke up. During that time the closer I got to her the more I thought about my ex. I am now with another girl who lives close and is just great we have so much in common and its just great with her. Problem is I find myself just freaking out sometimes getting paranoid that she will cheat on me or **** me over. Also I keep dreaming about my ex. I think I love this girl that I am with now but it has only been 3 and a half weeks since we have been together. Sometimes we are together just cuddling and I just have the urge to tell her I love her but 2 things stop me I do not want to freak her out and also I am not even sure what love is anymore. Is it just being able to be yourself around the person and being able to share, be passionate and feel safe with that person and picturing yourself having a future with them or what. Cause now days love is a term that is so overused .
bigmanpayne Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 what exactly are you looking for with this post? is there a question or a problem? do you just want comments on the situation? you are probably not in love with this new girl, calm down. sounds like your ex did a number on you - dont worry about it, it happens to the best of us. try to just have fun. once mistake you can make (and a mistake i made) is trying to replace your ex. by that i mean trying to fill her void with someone else, believe me that never works. you probably dont believe you are doing that but reading what you wrote, it sounds exactly like that is what you are doing. try to just have fun and enjoy the company of the people you are dating. it has only been 3 weeks and you think you are already in love again, maybe you dont need to be in anything serious, maybe you just need to slow down and just date different people. with variety you'll be able to pick and choose what you are really in too and what you really like/dislike. its not that you aren't over your ex, you're not over what you thought you 2 were and it seems like you are trying to replace her with other people, and that is never good.
Lauriebell82 Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 This is pretty simple. You are not over your ex. Why are you getting involved with other 2 different women not that far after a huge relationship broke up? If I can ask, why did you break up with your gf of 6 years. That's a LONG time to be with someone, you must be feeling some saddness. I do think you may be masking your feelings and the paranodia/doubt you are feeling to another girl is because you arent over your ex. My advice: take some time for yourself. It's TOTALLY okay to be single. Lot's of people are. You need to clear your head before you can be in a serious relationship again. Oh about the confusion of whether you love the girl you have been seeing for a month. That isn't love, you are transferring the love you have/did have with your ex and projecting it onto this girl. You don't know her that well, she just appears to be a replacement right now. I suggest you end it, before she ends up getting really hurt.
bigmanpayne Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 This is pretty simple. You are not over your ex. Why are you getting involved with other 2 different women not that far after a huge relationship broke up? If I can ask, why did you break up with your gf of 6 years. That's a LONG time to be with someone, you must be feeling some saddness. I do think you may be masking your feelings and the paranodia/doubt you are feeling to another girl is because you arent over your ex. My advice: take some time for yourself. It's TOTALLY okay to be single. Lot's of people are. You need to clear your head before you can be in a serious relationship again. Oh about the confusion of whether you love the girl you have been seeing for a month. That isn't love, you are transferring the love you have/did have with your ex and projecting it onto this girl. You don't know her that well, she just appears to be a replacement right now. I suggest you end it, before she ends up getting really hurt. okay, do either one... i suggested dating multiple women, she suggest just being single. i think they both will work. for GOD'S sake just dont get serious with anyone right now - you are not in love - take my word for it!
Lauriebell82 Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 okay, do either one... i suggested dating multiple women, she suggest just being single. i think they both will work. for GOD'S sake just dont get serious with anyone right now - you are not in love - take my word for it! Yeah I agree that dating people casually could be an option right now. However I'm not sure how much that would work for the OP, as he seems to be clinging onto women as an attempt to get over/replace his ex. Therefore, every woman he would try to date "casually" might be potential for an "I think i'm in love" feeling. Either one may be good, I think the general consensus is that you are def. not in love and you are not in the mindset to be in anything serious. You need to get over your ex and get closer before that could happen.
Author MaNg0s Posted August 7, 2008 Author Posted August 7, 2008 Ok basically what I wanted out of this thread was to find a way not to freak out and not be such a paranoid douche bag. I am over my ex I have been over her for months personally I just think its me being scared of being hurt. When I do think about my ex its only in dreams and that's the strangest thing as I never think about her during the day just dream about her occasionally. I think it has just made me scared of commitment. I have been single for around 6 months now and I have spoken to my ex since then and when I did I felt nothing for her that's how I know that I am over her. To why we broke up it turned into a long distance relationship and one day she told me didn't love me any more it did hurt actually caused me to attempt suicide on 2 separate occasions but I am over it now. I have always had trust issues with girls as I was abused when I was a kid for a long period of time by a female cousin of mine which has pretty much messed me up when it comes to trusting girls. You are all right its probably not love it has only been a month. I am not trying to replace anyone I am just dating this new girl I do not compare her to my ex. I am not going to leave this girl as she is amazing she calms me down, makes me feel great about myself makes me feel more adventurous.
Lauriebell82 Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 Ok basically what I wanted out of this thread was to find a way not to freak out and not be such a paranoid douche bag. I am over my ex I have been over her for months personally I just think its me being scared of being hurt. When I do think about my ex its only in dreams and that's the strangest thing as I never think about her during the day just dream about her occasionally. I think it has just made me scared of commitment. I have been single for around 6 months now and I have spoken to my ex since then and when I did I felt nothing for her that's how I know that I am over her. To why we broke up it turned into a long distance relationship and one day she told me didn't love me any more it did hurt actually caused me to attempt suicide on 2 separate occasions but I am over it now. I have always had trust issues with girls as I was abused when I was a kid for a long period of time by a female cousin of mine which has pretty much messed me up when it comes to trusting girls. You are all right its probably not love it has only been a month. I am not trying to replace anyone I am just dating this new girl I do not compare her to my ex. I am not going to leave this girl as she is amazing she calms me down, makes me feel great about myself makes me feel more adventurous. Thanks for clarifying that for us, it sounded from your original post that you hadn't broken up that long ago and you were already with someone else. Okay if you are over your ex, then having dreams about her means you are still thinking about her..even if the thoughts don't mean a thing. That will actually go away the longer you are broken up. I think for now, if you really care for this girl you should just slow down and stay cool. No need to rush into anything serious, i mean you guys have only been together for a month. You are saying you are scared of getting hurt, so I think you just need to play it cool and go slow in order to prevent that from happening and let your heart and trust heal. Good luck to you!
Author MaNg0s Posted August 7, 2008 Author Posted August 7, 2008 Thanks for clarifying that for us, it sounded from your original post that you hadn't broken up that long ago and you were already with someone else. Okay if you are over your ex, then having dreams about her means you are still thinking about her..even if the thoughts don't mean a thing. That will actually go away the longer you are broken up. I think for now, if you really care for this girl you should just slow down and stay cool. No need to rush into anything serious, i mean you guys have only been together for a month. You are saying you are scared of getting hurt, so I think you just need to play it cool and go slow in order to prevent that from happening and let your heart and trust heal. Good luck to you! Yeah I hardly think about my ex any more sometimes I go for a few weeks about thinking about her. But yeah slowing it down seems to be the best thing for me right now. I am fond of this girl and normally every relationship I have been in has always felt soo stressful its just nice to be in a relationship that isn't. But I have been taking it very slow with this girl. Ty for your advice it is much appreciated and good luck to you too in any of your present or future encounters .
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