roo-bear Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 I was needing advice me and my husband have been together 2 years and I have had a huge problem trusting him because when we were getting together he had sex with 2 girls and everytime we would go any where he would stare not glance at all the girls now i beat myself up everyday thinkin im not pretty enough or not good enough it has killed my self esteem and my trust.
verve Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 I was needing adviceDo you still need advice? me and my husband have been together 2 years and I have had a huge problem trusting him because when we were getting together he had sex with 2 girls and everytime we would go any where he would stare not glance at all the girlsWhy did you stay with him after he had sex with the 2 girls? Why not walk away at that early stage after being disrespected in such a way? now i beat myself up everyday thinkin im not pretty enough or not good enough it has killed my self esteem and my trust.It sounds like quite a vicious circle, being cheated on destroys esteem and trust and if there already esteem problems there it compounds them and makes them much worse. What I want you to do is write a list of the GOOD qualities you have, you seem to just be focusing on your negatives. And then I want you to write a list of the good things and the bad things in your relationship. Then look at which side has more and take it from there (oh and don't consciously rig this to suit what your heart is telling you). Finally remember the saying 'once a cheat always a cheat', be cautious.
Author roo-bear Posted August 8, 2008 Author Posted August 8, 2008 he dont consider it cheating because we were trying to get together and dont consider my feelings sometimes i wish i had walked away but i loved him so much its hard to just let go of something you wanted so much im afraid of seeing him with someone else!!! which i guess is stupid but if you love someone thats the way you feel am i crazy:confused: will i every be able to trust again???
porter218 Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 he dont consider it cheating because we were trying to get together and dont consider my feelings sometimes i wish i had walked away but i loved him so much its hard to just let go of something you wanted so much im afraid of seeing him with someone else!!! which i guess is stupid but if you love someone thats the way you feel am i crazy:confused: will i every be able to trust again??? Well if you weren't commited to each other then in a way he is right. Yoy just have to calm down and realize that he chose to be with you... not them. But if he is staring at women in public maybe you need to walk away. Love isn't supposed to feel like that. This sounds like a relationship based on infatuation not love.
Author roo-bear Posted August 9, 2008 Author Posted August 9, 2008 commitment part we were spending everyday together but somedays he would tell me he was coming but lie which was wrong dont spend all this time with me and then go out with girls you dont play like that the lying part went for two months even after we were together
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