CHANTRESS Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 Without going into too much detail...I have been involved (regrettably) with a MM for the last year..most of it attempting to break things off. It's easy most of the time....until he keeps contacting me. Anyway...one thing I have noticed is..the MORE I am unavailable to him, the harder he pursues. Not sure if this is just human nature or what, but it's annoying because I KNOW he doesn't want a REAL realtionship with me...NOR is he going to leave his marriage. It's all about HIM and HIS needs. Being involved with a MM/MW is not much different than being involved with someone who is only using you as an "emotional tampon'...or who is only in it for you to make THEM feel better or more loved. So if you have someone who you wish was more...but they keep you around as a "friend"....believe me...........it is ONLY about THEM. The minute they THINK you are NOT interested in them in 'that' way....they will panick, and most likely guilt you into staying in their lives. If your goal is to be with them romantically..DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!! You be the strong one and do full force NC. It will do one of TWO things.... It will finally break you free of this person..or it will open their eyes as to where they want you in their lives. Either way YOU win. For motivation..read someone like Fox's posts on how he dealt with his break up. He did iron clad NC and his EX all but stalked him to get him back.... Just remember..love YOU first. The rest will follow!!!! I promise you..
tealeafbud Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 thanks so much for posting. If I'm ever in that situation, I'll remember those wise words.
orangehose Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 Good post, but oftentimes NC doesn't provoke contact or interest from the dumper. You're doing it for yourself, not to make them miss or pursue you.
foxh1234 Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 Without going into too much detail...I have been involved (regrettably) with a MM for the last year..most of it attempting to break things off. It's easy most of the time....until he keeps contacting me. Anyway...one thing I have noticed is..the MORE I am unavailable to him, the harder he pursues. Not sure if this is just human nature or what, but it's annoying because I KNOW he doesn't want a REAL realtionship with me...NOR is he going to leave his marriage. It's all about HIM and HIS needs. Being involved with a MM/MW is not much different than being involved with someone who is only using you as an "emotional tampon'...or who is only in it for you to make THEM feel better or more loved. So if you have someone who you wish was more...but they keep you around as a "friend"....believe me...........it is ONLY about THEM. The minute they THINK you are NOT interested in them in 'that' way....they will panick, and most likely guilt you into staying in their lives. If your goal is to be with them romantically..DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!! You be the strong one and do full force NC. It will do one of TWO things.... It will finally break you free of this person..or it will open their eyes as to where they want you in their lives. Either way YOU win. For motivation..read someone like Fox's posts on how he dealt with his break up. He did iron clad NC and his EX all but stalked him to get him back.... Just remember..love YOU first. The rest will follow!!!! I promise you.. Great post!! You deserve so much more than what you are getting from a MM. I applaud you for seeing this and stopping it. You deserve 100% of your partner and not crumbs from a MM. Stay strong and find the man that will make you happy. There is someone out there for both of us, we just have to keep our eyes open. Thanks for mentioning my posts, I hope someone will get some motivation from them.
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