cd32505n Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 I really could use a lot of help. I guess I will start from point one. I have known this girl for about 6 years now. At first everything was great. We had rocky moments just as every relationship does. We ended up breaking up after 2 years of dating. We were on and off for about the next year. That did not go to well we both just faught not stop and we didnt agree on a lot of things. I ended up having enough. We ended up falling apart and I found out she was seeing someone else and I new they slept together. I had a lot of hatred inside of me so I decided to move on. We didnt talk at all for 8 months. After about 8 months a recieved an email from her stating that she missed me and she made many mistakes and she wanted to meet up and apologize and basically fill me in on what was going on with her. It took a lot of thinking but i decided to see her. She visited me in manhatten and she ended up staying with me for a weekend. She sat down with me and said everything I wanted to hear. It was great. I loved her but i felt like she was going down the wrong road and I coudnt deal with how she was. She said she changed and that she made many mistakes when we were not speaking for the 8 months. She told me everything. It was very disturbing to hear that she had slept around more than she ever had and it kind of made me feel disgusted in her. I appreciated the honesty but I looked at her so different. I tried to do the mature thing and look past her mistakes because we have all made them. I took her back because I loved her. I was so happy and it felt like the girl I always wanted and loved was back without all the negative attributes. I WAS WRONG. After about 1 week she started acting the same way she always did. Everything was about her and she always made me stress out over things I shoudnt be worrying about. Im not 100% innocent here but again I had enough. We ended up breaking it off and again living hell started for me. We actually went back and forth again. When ever she was upset or missed me she would call me and want to get back together.. Normally it was if something really bad happened. We just broke up again about 1 months ago. We were talking and seeing eachother once in awhile but after awhile i just kept feeling used and hurt. I will get more into this after i tell the basics. I decided to stop talking to her. It has been 2 weeks and I havnt spoke or seen her. She has been calling me and she even showed up when I wasnt around to see me. I dont think she wants to get back with me but she wants me in her life because we go way back and I cant handle it. I love her so much but I cant stand to see her with other guys. Im sick of being hurt. IDK what to do. I want to be with her but I cant get over all the bs she has done and the guys she had has slept with over that 8 month period. What do I do guys? *A little more info* I have known her for 6 years. I was all she had at first. She comes from a very disfuncional family and she was kicked out of her house because her mother is crazy. I have know her mother for awhile and there are a few screws loose. She lived with me for awhile before I found out she was seeing someone else and I moved to nyc and tried to move on. We were not together when she was seeing this guy but I still felt used because I was helping her so much because she was living with me and we were intimate once in awhile. Anyway she has been on her own and is taking care of her little sister by herself. I respect that but she always seems to want me and than throw me away. She is a very beautifull girl and she can get whatever guy she wants but she has a connection with me due to the fact I new since she was in 8th grade. We grew up together. Anyway.... She lives day to day and thats why I cannot do this anymore. I want her so bad sometimes any I dont know if im doing the correct thing. Can someone help me out.. Im so confused and i just wanna know im doing the right thing by not speaking to her even though I havnt sat her down and told her why im done with her. HELP ME??!!?? Thankyou guys so much.
Author cd32505n Posted August 6, 2008 Author Posted August 6, 2008 IDK how I feel. She is a very hard person to deal with. She deals with a lot in her life and I have always been there and helped her out but she has screwed me over so many times in the last 6 years and she makes me feel like dirt 50% of the time. The reason why we last broke up is because i found text messages on her phone that were really disturbing. The text was as follows: Him: Why are you with him if you say you love me? Her: Dont do anything, maybe we arnt ment to be together. She was talking to this guy and i read this on her B-Day. She also told him shes only seeing me for 2 hours and than she was gunna get her little sis and come by. IDK if she was cheating on me but i brought it up we got into a huge fight and she said I was like a little kid. She said I was immature and i was nuts. She didnt answer my questions refering to the text messages. She said it was just talk and I was so stupid. I think its still wrong. Even if it didnt get to a physical level talk is cheating in my eyes. It has been 1 month since that day and it had been hard to see her etc.. Its things like this that make me upset and confused. I love her but is it really worth getting hurt again? I think she might even be seeing someone else. She just hides everything from me. She wants me to be a friend in her life and she says she wants me to change and grow up and than she wants to have a life with me.. I think its excuses..
LionLover Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 Obviously you still really care about her but there’s no point in having her in your life right now it will only add salt to your existing wounds. All that will do is further impair your ability to trust down the road & you don’t want to go down that road. She betrayed you & you WANT so desperately for her to fill the void she created. Its almost like an addiction, but a very unhealthy one that unfortunaly most of us have been through at one point or another. Its not to say you can’t/won’t be friends down the road but by that point after you’ve had enough time to heal you most likely will have already moved on. And that’s the scariest part about it, letting go. Part of that is by forgiveness because you cant really come to terms with it until you do...Anyway, it really all boils down to how long you’re willing to put yourself through it & at what cost
thethinwhiteduke Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 Just delete her no . Clearly the relationship is never gonna work. She doesn't deserve someone as thoughtful as you. Move on as quick as you can. She will call u etc. but you will get a satisfaction from telling her where to stick it.
Author cd32505n Posted August 7, 2008 Author Posted August 7, 2008 Thanks guys im just very confused. Im kind of sick of being upset. I want it all to go away but i cant change how my mind thinks. I really want to be with her. Im trying to come to terms with the fact that its not ment to be right now.
Eos Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 i think that if she makes you feel like dirt even a little bit she is not right for you, the right person will still make you feel amazing and you should make the other person feel amazing too, even with all the stupid little flaws. she wants you to change and be what she wants you to be, so how is she in love with you, when she asks you to change who you are. it sounds like u diserve sooo much better. if this is ment to be, maybe it will come back at a later date. but for now and the near future you might want to leave it behind and maybe take up a hobbie that you have always wanted to start, and maybe you meet the right person for you. maybe you have already found that person but cant see them in that light because you are too focused on the "maybe" one.
imbewildered Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 I tried to do the mature thing and look past her mistakes because we have all made them. I want all you guys to think about what the OP is saying here. HE is saying that he has a belief that taking back a woman who is clearly a promiscuious, mainipulator is " mature " of him . WHat kind of delusion is that ? Why is that a mature decision ? IT is not, is is just self-destructive and plain stupid - as his story proves. Guys, NEVER take an ex back unless she volunteers to be your 'no strings' FB, begs to clean your house and pick up your cleaning and is just dying to wash your car every Saturday.. All the while you should be on the lookout for one of those very elusive and rare, "quality " women.
Author cd32505n Posted August 7, 2008 Author Posted August 7, 2008 I want all you guys to think about what the OP is saying here. HE is saying that he has a belief that taking back a woman who is clearly a promiscuious, mainipulator is " mature " of him . WHat kind of delusion is that ? Why is that a mature decision ? IT is not, is is just self-destructive and plain stupid - as his story proves. Guys, NEVER take an ex back unless she volunteers to be your 'no strings' FB, begs to clean your house and pick up your cleaning and is just dying to wash your car every Saturday.. All the while you should be on the lookout for one of those very elusive and rare, "quality " women. OUCH:confused:
Author cd32505n Posted August 7, 2008 Author Posted August 7, 2008 So she showed up at my house today. Shocked the hell outa me. She acted like everything was fine but she obviously was worried that i was done so she came by. I didnt know how to react. I didnt even wanna look at her. I kind of felt disgusted. I told her that I am not doing this anymore. I told her i cant deal with how she is and I cant be friends with her anymore. I told her she is nothing but stress and im sick of the emotional rollercoaster. She than tried saying that I was hard as well etc.. I than looked at her and said listen...I CANNOT TRUST U ANYMORE, IM DONE. I than said your a player. I said name 1 time there wasnt a guy in your life? I said even when your with me? i said theres always someone or something in the way. Shes hesitated not knowing what to say because she knew I was right. She said what about the 8 months we wrnt talking and thats when i lost it and said THATS WHEN YOU ****ED ALL THOSE GUYS U TOLD ME ABOUT!! She walked away and I went outside 20 min later and found a letter from her saying she loves me and she understands and she hopes i can forgive her mistakes one day... IM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Recommended Posts