NoIDidn't Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 Funny because some have a 13 year mistake. and other have mistake after mistake after mistake after mistake. So you can get why the BS can be so upset over it. It is funny though. "Honey, I love you. She was just a mistake" Yeah....right.......
SueBee3490 Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 So you can get why the BS can be so upset over it. It is funny though. "Honey, I love you. She was just a mistake" Yeah....right....... So which one is "he/she" saying this to..... to W/H - "Honey I love you. He/She was just a mistake" or to OW/OM - "Honey I love you. He/She was just a mistake" Actually I believe cheater is saying it to both. Typical - talking out of both sides of his/her mouth,
NoIDidn't Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 So which one is "he/she" saying this to..... to W/H - "Honey I love you. He/She was just a mistake" or to OW/OM - "Honey I love you. He/She was just a mistake" Actually I believe cheater is saying it to both. Typical - talking out of both sides of his/her mouth, Exactomundo! LOL And they do have two faces don't they. One for each life.
Lizzie60 Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 Excuse my ignorance, but what is BS?? could be Betrayed Spouse or B*ll Shiit
emily d Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 I have read this in other posts and I heard it too.How many of you have heard both or one of the following: 1) I love you both (OW & BS) 2) i have a happy marriage (yet he/she has A) 1.I love you both- it depends on how this person defining love. If this person doesn’t believe that love and monogamy are necessary the same term, I would assume he/she is telling the truth 2.I have a happy marriage (yet he/she has A) - Again, it depends on how this person defining happiness. If this person considers living in a stable comfort zone or situation is happiness, yet he/she just needs some extra stimulation from A to feel alive. Then, I would assume he/she is also telling the truth.
Mino Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 Then why are they still together? I am sure you are helping to make his marriage tolerable. Ick and I guess you are friends with both.No, not friends with both... sorry;) Just him...
noforgiveness Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 No, not friends with both... sorry;) Just him... Then why do you discuss his marriage with HER.
Mino Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 Then why do you discuss his marriage with HER. i am not going to discuss why when and were again... already have many threads ago...no need to be so feisty... just stated a fact...
Lookingforward Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 I have read this in other posts and I heard it too. How many of you have heard both or one of the following: 1) I love you both (OW & BS) 2) i have a happy marriage (yet he/she has A) I don't recall hearing either from my exsMM
White Flower Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 I have read this in other posts and I heard it too. How many of you have heard both or one of the following: 1) I love you both (OW & BS) 2) i have a happy marriage (yet he/she has A) MM told me he was in love with me, but cared for W. He could be happy, or make himself believe he was happy in the M but hoped I would always be there too. He felt life would be great with me but the unknown was scary. (Stay with the monster you know syndrome).
Chinook Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 I have read this in other posts and I heard it too. How many of you have heard both or one of the following: 1) I love you both (OW & BS) 2) i have a happy marriage (yet he/she has A)Actually, I didn't hear either of these things. What I got was 'I'm single' which then changed to 'I'm separated' and after 8 months of him telling me he loved me and wanted things to work out and we reached an impassé of where things were going... with lots of fights and arguments... he left. Dumped me. A week later I discovered (quite accidentally via a friend) he was never single all along (don't even go there with asking me how the hell he managed it - he stayed at my house 3-4 days a week). A few days later, I pluck up the courage to contact him and ask him what the hell happened and when they got back together because I felt I needed some answers as to what the hell happened... his response... "I never left, she's always there for me". He'd led a double life for 8 months, even to the point of attending hospital scan visits (checking for cancer recurrence) and attending family / friend occasions. I'm glad he's gone. I'd not trust a single word out of his mouth ever again after that. I don't know whether SHE knows or not. I have never felt the inclination to subject myself to MORE pain and drama.
White Flower Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 . As far as marriage went I was led to beleive it was boring and she she wished she was with me....( never enough to make the move....or the ever favorite...I wish I met you first) Ah yes! The.......I wish I met you first........line. Or the, 'Why did we have to meet at different times in our lives? line. Um, according to my watch, we DID meet at the same time.
White Flower Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 With regard to question # 2, the mm I had an ea with did tell me he was happily married and I found that hard to believe because if he were truely happily married then he would not have taken part in and enjoyed the inappropriate exchanges that we shared. In my case I believe he was "Comfy' enough with his W and life not to change it, however IMO "Comfy" and "Happy" don't mean the same thing. AP:) Excellent post! I see my exMM as comfy while trying to satisfy his sexual needs elsewhere. Even his love/romantic needs.
Jumbo Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 I just thought of another one..." I could not do that to him" hmmmmmmmm what about coming here and sharing my bed for 7 years....it proves anything can be justified....funny thing was she would not ever take her wedding ring off either...which I bet he would have preferred over the other things she was doing with me!
Author me003 Posted August 8, 2008 Author Posted August 8, 2008 I just thought of another one..." I could not do that to him" hmmmmmmmm what about coming here and sharing my bed for 7 years....it proves anything can be justified....funny thing was she would not ever take her wedding ring off either...which I bet he would have preferred over the other things she was doing with me! I think what they don't want it to have the status with friends and family deminish if they divorce. Once you divorce most xspouses will tell everyone about an A. They will be looked as a bad person.
White Flower Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 I just thought of another one..." I could not do that to him" hmmmmmmmm what about coming here and sharing my bed for 7 years....it proves anything can be justified....funny thing was she would not ever take her wedding ring off either...which I bet he would have preferred over the other things she was doing with me! The first excuse I heard from him was, 'I couldn't leave her without insurance'. I guess this is the part where I say, 'Gee, what a gracious man you are;)'.
Owl Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 Quotes of a conversation from my wife to OM: Question 1: I still love him [OM]....but I know that I am slowly falling out of love with him [OM]..and in love with you Question 2: OM: were you happy before me? WW: honestly not as happy as I am now......you see [OM]you have it backwards....Ive not been living in roses before now I am there's just more thorns to deal with now... WW: but what is living in roses without the thorns? WW: [OM]I am happier now than before I just have more things to deal with He asked this question because before the affair started, my wife and I were spending a lot of time together doing things and he had gotten to know her (and I somewhat) by gaming together. And we'd been very happy, and it showed even in our gaming. But then she fell "in love" with him... So there ya go. She gave reasonably honest answers from her perspective, but if she'd ADMITTED that we were happy, it would have had a huge blow on the affair...and that wasn't what she wanted. She deflected, and told him she was happier now.
White Flower Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 So there ya go. She gave reasonably honest answers from her perspective, but if she'd ADMITTED that we were happy, it would have had a huge blow on the affair...and that wasn't what she wanted. She deflected, and told him she was happier now.I so understand the deflection tactic. They want to be honest but the hard truth is hard to accept so deflection is the next best tactic.
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