me003 Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 I have read this in other posts and I heard it too. How many of you have heard both or one of the following: 1) I love you both (OW & BS) 2) i have a happy marriage (yet he/she has A)
noforgiveness Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 I have read this in other posts and I heard it too. How many of you have heard both or one of the following: 1) I love you both (OW & BS) 2) i have a happy marriage (yet he/she has A) I can't imagine they would ever admit to the ow/om that they had a happy marriage. What ow/om would get involved with someone who said they were happily married?
GreenEyedLady Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 I have heard of this happening. It's how the cake-eaters operate. Although in this case, I think it's that the MM loves himself the most.
John Who Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 Exactly,the MM is not going to tell OW by the way I still love my wife she is the woman who I'm in love with I don't want to leave her she is way more attractive than you a better lover blah ,blah fu-king blah,but hey how about we get a room. MM is going to pretend to be unhappy my W is horrible,we don't have sex,she doesnt understand me,she bores me and my favorite I'm only with her for the kids.
TogetherForever Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 There are many forums in which the ow/om & mm/mw say that they love their spouse, are happily married & continue on in affairs. The ow/om are often just fine with that situation. TF
SnowWhite924 Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 I was happily married when I started my A. When I fell in love with my exMM, I wasn't happily married anymore. I wanted to be with my exMM. When I decided not to continue with the A, I got plugged back into my M and now am Happily married again. I don't understand it at all.
Adunaphel Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 I have read this in other posts and I heard it too. How many of you have heard both or one of the following: 1) I love you both (OW & BS) 2) i have a happy marriage (yet he/she has A) I've heard both, but not personally. It is usually followed by some "you give me something I miss in my relationship", "the two relationship complement each other" line. I am under the impression it is typical of affairs where both people involved are married or in a relationship and are bulls*tting themselves into not feeling guilty.
Meaplus3 Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 I have read this in other posts and I heard it too. How many of you have heard both or one of the following: 1) I love you both (OW & BS) 2) i have a happy marriage (yet he/she has A) With regard to question # 2, the mm I had an ea with did tell me he was happily married and I found that hard to believe because if he were truely happily married then he would not have taken part in and enjoyed the inappropriate exchanges that we shared. In my case I believe he was "Comfy' enough with his W and life not to change it, however IMO "Comfy" and "Happy" don't mean the same thing. AP:)
waleen Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 It's hard to say which is worse news for Republicans: that George W. Bush now has the worst approval rating of an American president in a generation, or that he seems to be dragging every '08 Republican presidential candidate down with him.
Terminator Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 I can't imagine they would ever admit to the ow/om that they had a happy marriage. What ow/om would get involved with someone who said they were happily married? Except perhaps Lizzie
Owl Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 Lizzie doesn't count as an OW. She's a 'professional', with one MM she throws it to for free on the side. Her mindset has nothing to do with the 'normal' OW...her mindset definitely matches her 'second profession'. There's a BIG difference.
Lizzie60 Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 I have read this in other posts and I heard it too. How many of you have heard both or one of the following: 1) I love you both (OW & BS) 2) i have a happy marriage (yet he/she has A) 1) I heard it but not that often.. maybe once or twice.. 2) Happy is a 'big word'.. they are comfortable in their M.. and stay for different reasons.. financial, circle of friends, family but mostly for kids. If they were passionately happy.. like in 'honey-moon' period.. they wouldn't have sex outside.. when they do.. they are NOT truly 'happy' but rather 'comfortable' and they don't want their situation to change..
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 I've heard them both, and said similar myself. I believe it is wholly possible to love two people (though the types of love will not be identical), and I also believe it is possible to be content and satisfied with a marriage, yet want more. Some folks just like a crazy salad with their meat, I guess.
NoIDidn't Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 I've heard them both, and said similar myself. I believe it is wholly possible to love two people (though the types of love will not be identical), and I also believe it is possible to be content and satisfied with a marriage, yet want more. Some folks just like a crazy salad with their meat, I guess. I agree with this. I think it is possible to love more than one person. So the MM loves both, but for different reasons. I had an exBF tell me something like this when I found out I was the "other woman" and not the first. He said he wished he could combine us into one woman, because then we'd be the perfect one woman FOR HIM. Which is the whole point of #1. He loves you both because it works out best for him to have it that way. With #2, I know plenty of "happily" married guys that cheat on the regular. The W is their *queen*, and the OWs (usually many) well....I don't know what they call the OWs before they get caught, I just know what they say after they get caught. Its not unusual for a man that says he's happily married to cheat. I guess.
Author me003 Posted August 7, 2008 Author Posted August 7, 2008 . The W is their *queen*' date=' and the OWs (usually many) well....I don't know what they call the OWs before they get caught, I just know what they say after they get caught. [/quote'] Curious, but what are OWs called after they get caught?
NoIDidn't Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 Curious, but what are OWs called after they get caught? Mistakes. The most common thing heard on D-day and after.
Nixson Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 I wasn't pretending, I was unhappy in my marriage and we weren't having sex, we were practically living separate lives and I told my OW-turned-significant other exactly that. In fact, after a while I found out she had said the same thing to my significant other. I wanted all of us to be happy that was when I decided to let go of my marriage and let ex-wife and I find happiness of our own.
Author me003 Posted August 7, 2008 Author Posted August 7, 2008 Mistakes. The most common thing heard on D-day and after. Funny because some have a 13 year mistake. and other have mistake after mistake after mistake after mistake.
herenow Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 Funny because some have a 13 year mistake. and other have mistake after mistake after mistake after mistake. That's because they have never felt any consequences for their mistakes.
Jumbo Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 As an OM I was told: I really like you. I love you both. I love him like a sibling. Love you romantically. I love you more than him, you are best lover I ever had, and my best friend. You are # 1 but....i need to stay in my marriage and work on it....took 7 years to figure it out...almost getting caught was the driver there. As far as marriage went I was led to beleive it was boring and she she wished she was with me....( never enough to make the move....or the ever favorite...I wish I met you first)
Mino Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 I have read this in other posts and I heard it too. How many of you have heard both or one of the following: 1) I love you both (OW & BS) 2) i have a happy marriage (yet he/she has A) NO, never heard it like that... I hear "i love you everyday, and I know he 'cares about his W, but is not in love with her the way a H should love hs w... 2. Are they happy, No they are not happy... they are coexcisting... And this is not just what he tells me, but she has told me this herself, and many many others that know them too. So its not a "line" mm throws Ow... its the truth...
Terminator Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 and sometimes it's the M that was the "mistake"
noforgiveness Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 NO, never heard it like that... I hear "i love you everyday, and I know he 'cares about his W, but is not in love with her the way a H should love hs w... 2. Are they happy, No they are not happy... they are coexcisting... And this is not just what he tells me, but she has told me this herself, and many many others that know them too. So its not a "line" mm throws Ow... its the truth... Then why are they still together? I am sure you are helping to make his marriage tolerable. Ick and I guess you are friends with both.
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