baby karen Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 can anyone please help me...i dun have anyone to talk to or giving advices. im lost, am i useless for what i have done. i have a friend which used to know my bf, she is the first person providing information for me, of what my bf does everyday... my bf used to admirer a girl..and he hides from me. all i found out bout his privacy is from his friend i mentioned above. i also admit that i did check his billing statements from time to time. until one day he become suspicious a sudden that i knew much bout what he is doing, who is he calling...and now he is very angry n dissapointed due he called up his friend and ask. And he found out that i actually check on him from time to time. My bf did explain to me, he did admirer that girl, but they were just normal friends at the moement. i have make my bf unhappy or dissapointed many times. But this i really awared of what i have done. And he told me i dun wana empty promises...what should i do. im with my bf almost 6 years of relationship and i really love him very much, the way he care n love me. But one thing he is a sensitive freak kind of guy. I really want him back but i dunt know what to do. i promise i repent of what i done. i will learn how to respect and trust him again. ohh what a mess... now only i know privacy is meant to be personal. he really hates those who try to destroy his realtionship. but i already made one. But he has giving me lot of chances...but i always make mistakes. i promise i wunt do it again. i really wan him back.... someone out there please help me!!!!!
Walk Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 He got angry because he's guilty. Privacy in a 6 year relationship is moot. You did nothing wrong. You had a reason to be suspicious of what your bf was up to. IF, big if, he was doing nothing wrong then he wouldn't have gotten upset. It wouldn't have been a big deal. He may have been a little wounded that you didn't trust him, but he would not have ended the relationship. Your bf used this excuse to end it with you. You didn't cause it by snooping through phone calls. It wasn't just the phone bill that ended the relationship. You two may have had other problems that contributed, but it wasn't because you checked up on who he was calling and how often. He's shifting the blame to you so he doesn't feel like a worthless piece o' crap for what he's done to you. The ONLY time privacy concerning a list of calls (in a long term relationship like yours) becomes a huge issue is when the person is doing something they KNOW their partner would get pissed about. Like cheating, or spending all the bill money on toys, or calling phone sex operators, etc. I know this from experience. Privacy is only guarded when there is something to hide (in terms of a many year relationship). You don't end a 6 year relationship because your partner saw the calls you made. The relationship is over... please cut all contact with your ex and start focusing on things that will make you happy. Do something good for yourself, take up a new hobby, go out with friends. Your ex was an azz and he shouldn't have blamed you for his own short comings. p.s. it might help you a great deal to find a counselor you could talk to about what happened in your relationship. If not a counselor then maybe a pastor. Many employers have counselors set up to help employee's deal with issues in their lives. Health insurance sometimes covers 5-10 private counseling sessions. Even if you aren't one to go to church, the pastors/ministers will still help you out.
theobserver Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 There's nothing wrong with the casual snoop have you looked around these forums? Most of the time anyone finds out anything (cheating, one night stand etc) is because of snooping * I remember one man who was cheated on for 10 yrs EVERY weekend and he had no idea until reading an email left on his wifes computer* . Why waste the best years of your life with someone not invested in you , if you think something is up question and investigate for a reasonable time I see no trouble in what she did. If he can throw away 6 yrs just like that because you wanted to check on him occassionaly either he's very stubborn in his views of what's right and wrong and to him privacy is the line that can't be crossed or he did something and saw this as an opportunity to break it off and be with someone else it's possible he was out of love for you. Everyone is different so it's hard to tell. Don't go after him, you have been set free, you never felt secure with him in the first place you are set free. Recover for awhile and if you wish to start dating again to find a new partner do so you have a new fresh slate. Be Strong. Good Luck
Author baby karen Posted August 7, 2008 Author Posted August 7, 2008 my bf didnt mention about breaking up...but he is totally angry n dissapointed of what i have done. he jus want a simple relationship, pc games, work n family. he did admit to me after the arguement that they were friends, and he did admirer her before. i really cant change the past...but i repent it. what should i do to repent it? i have no confidence...but i will try to figure it out. i already apologized..one word sorry its not enough, what he wants to see is action, not by saying.
Author baby karen Posted August 7, 2008 Author Posted August 7, 2008 i agree with docuroc on your advices. my bf didnt mention about breaking up...but he is totally angry n dissapointed of what i have done. he jus want a simple relationship, pc games, work n family. he did admit to me after the arguement that they were friends, and he did admirer her before. i really cant change the past...but i repent it. what should i do to repent it? i have no confidence...but i will try to figure it out. i already apologized..one word sorry its not enough, what he wants to see is action, not by saying.
Author baby karen Posted August 9, 2008 Author Posted August 9, 2008 i agree with docuroc on your advices. my bf didnt mention about breaking up...but he is totally angry n dissapointed of what i have done. he jus want a simple relationship, pc games, work n family. he did admit to me after the arguement that they were friends, and he did admirer her before. i really cant change the past...but i repent it. what should i do to repent it? i have no confidence...but i will try to figure it out. i already apologized..one word sorry its not enough, what he wants to see is action, not by saying.
Recommended Posts