xpaperxcutx Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 I'm a bit conflicted right now. So I broke things off with six pack guy a week back, but he came around and decided to add me back on myspace because he still wanted to meet up. When I told him that I couldn't meet him ( I was pmsing) he accuses me of playing games with him, and completely took things out of context by telling me not to text or talk to him anymore ( which I hardly even do, since he never replies). So everything's going well the last few days, I'm happy, content, and all of a sudden, as if I was smacked on the forehead, six pack guy pops into my head. Now I find myself checking my phone all time to see if he has left me a message, and I'm feeling like a love sick puppy. What the hell? Am I falling for a guy that hates me?
Trialbyfire Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 It's commonly known as wanting something you can't have. If you get him back, you'll find you don't want him again.
Jilly Bean Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 X, you know I think I was the only one who liked him for you. lol. He doesn't hate you. He is just more insecure than you imagine - hence all the over compensating. Yes, he was insensitive when you were sick, but I don't think guys often know the right thing to say in that situation. I still think you should give him a real chance.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted August 6, 2008 Author Posted August 6, 2008 X, you know I think I was the only one who liked him for you. lol. He doesn't hate you. He is just more insecure than you imagine - hence all the over compensating. Yes, he was insensitive when you were sick, but I don't think guys often know the right thing to say in that situation. I still think you should give him a real chance. But Jelly he does hate me. He accused me of playing games ( which I didnt) and said that he hates girls like that. Then he told me to never text message him again. I got mad at him and told him to just delete my number.
Jilly Bean Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 Ah, I misread it, sorry. I still don't think he genuinely hates you. I think he is a tad immature when it comes to relationships. Again, more proof of his lack of "savvy". For a couple that doesn't date, you guys sure seem to be doing a lot of fighting. Almost more than the time you were dating! And what does that tell ya? OK, Ill tell you. lol. That there is still a lot of chemistry, but that he keeps sabotaging this because of his childishness. You'll hear from him again.
jadedone Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 Yes, he was insensitive when you were sick, but I don't think guys often know the right thing to say in that situation. . but she lied about that. She wasn't really sick.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted August 6, 2008 Author Posted August 6, 2008 but she lied about that. She wasn't really sick. I'm not trying to get myself ostracized here. I know lying to him was terrible but it gave me a little insight about the kind of person he was, as per his lack of caring response. He never even asked the reason why I had to cancel, he just jumped right into the accusation that I was playing games.
trubella Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 he just jumped right into the accusation that I was playing games. well you kindof were, not too long ago you were nitpicking the *negatives* about this guy, looking for reasons not to go on a date with him, didnt seem very interested. then you led him onto believe you wanted to meet only to lie about being sick and cancel. now you want to talk to him again? hm-
Author xpaperxcutx Posted August 6, 2008 Author Posted August 6, 2008 well you kindof were, not too long ago you were nitpicking the *negatives* about this guy, looking for reasons not to go on a date with him, didnt seem very interested. then you led him onto believe you wanted to meet only to lie about being sick and cancel. now you want to talk to him again? hm- The reason why I was trying to find faults in him was because I have a history of personally sabotaging my own dates. My last relationship didn't go very well, and I have a really hard time trusting people. Yes, at the time I wasn't as interested in him as I had wanted, I was skeptical about his advancements, so I played things a bit coldly. It's just all of a sudden I found myself missing talking to him even though I know that it just isn't logical.
LionLover Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 What the hell? Am I falling for a guy that hates me? No, your falling for a guy who has six packs...Get over it
Author xpaperxcutx Posted August 7, 2008 Author Posted August 7, 2008 No, your falling for a guy who has six packs...Get over it Wow you made me sound so superficial and I'm not. I like his outgoing personality, just not the self absorbed attributes that comes with it.
LionLover Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 Wow you made me sound so superficial and I'm not. I like his outgoing personality, just not the self absorbed attributes that comes with it. I'm sorry, that did come out rather brazen. Your actions: -You nitpicked *negatives* about this guy right from the very start & focused on his personality (& looks) vs. his actual qualities (is he caring, considerate, kind, etc.) -You then broke it off after a week -You then proceed to cancel a date & lie about it (& after he re-initiated contact w/YOU) -You then told him to delete your number Conclusion - you sabotaged it from the get go & while you are not solely to blame, his response in turn displayed insensitivity, insecurity & mistrust. Moral of the story - The two of you are a bad mix. Sometimes tough love needs to be excercised, that's where my "get over it comment" came in.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted August 7, 2008 Author Posted August 7, 2008 I'm sorry, that did come out rather brazen. Your actions: -You nitpicked *negatives* about this guy right from the very start & focused on his personality (& looks) vs. his actual qualities (is he caring, considerate, kind, etc.) -You then broke it off after a week -You then proceed to cancel a date & lie about it (& after he re-initiated contact w/YOU) -You then told him to delete your number Conclusion - you sabotaged it from the get go & while you are not solely to blame, his response in turn displayed insensitivity, insecurity & mistrust. Moral of the story - The two of you are a bad mix. Sometimes tough love needs to be excercised, that's where my "get over it comment" came in. First of all, the reason I nitpicked his "negatives" was because I'm always wary about people who come right out and say they like me without really knowing me well enough first. Then there was the matter about his looks. I'm not superficial it's just I might have stereotyped him in the category of men who play around considering he has had a very crazy lifestyle back when he was still living in Japan. Any women would be a bit hesitant to come right out and start reciprocating any sort of contact or emotions, right? I've seen some threads on here where people actually paid to get background checks because they don't really feel like they can trust the person they're dating. (Just to add, I've never done anything like that ) Furthermore, it's really hard to discern his ENTIRE qualities because he chooses to communicate more through texts and ims rather than actually picking up his phone and dialing my #. So the only impression that I can discern about him was based on what he tells me and the way he plays his personality off. As for the whole complicated situation about breaking things off, I feel like I was to blame for the most part because I chose to take the cowardly way out and lied about being sick to avoid meeting him. It was because I was going through some personal problems ( which I can't go into) but he took it offensively and decided to go the extreme of telling me he deleted me from his myspace. He sabotaged it somewhat by constantly asking me whether I was going to cancel or not, as if self prophesizing the outcome of things. I chose to delete him from my life from that moment, but he bounced back into it nevertheless and initiated contact. His approach this time was a bit colder: he initiates contact again to ask for a date, yet he couldn't offer me any common courtesy to reply to me when i text him. The second attempt at confirming a meeting didn't go so well, and he took his anger out on me. This time I didn't lie. I told him I wasn't feeling up to it ( since I was pmsing and going through a bit of severe mood swings) but I didn't go into direct details, so he accuses me of playing games. He told me that I was playing games and told me not to text him anymore. I got angry that he could be so selfish to assume anything before getting all the facts so I told him to delete my # since I really couldn't care any less. In conclusion: yes I sabotaged it, and I'm not particularly happy with the way things turned out.
LionLover Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 I got angry that he could be so selfish to assume anything before getting all the facts so I told him to delete my # since I really couldn't care any less. Understood. Yet you cannot really be angry w/someone for "not getting all the facts" when you did in fact lie about it & then tell them to delete your number. He askled you out, and you in turn responded dishonestly when all you had to do was tell him what the situation really was & that you were having personal things to sort out & needed to reschedule. If he was a reasonable person he would've understood & it would have not been that big of an issue. Anywho, I hope it all works out for the best.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted August 7, 2008 Author Posted August 7, 2008 Understood. Yet you cannot really be angry w/someone for "not getting all the facts" when you did in fact lie about it & then tell them to delete your number. He askled you out, and you in turn responded dishonestly when all you had to do was tell him what the situation really was & that you were having personal things to sort out & needed to reschedule. If he was a reasonable person he would've understood & it would have not been that big of an issue. Anywho, I hope it all works out for the best. He never asked why? He just jumped into the conclusion that my intentions had never been pure. Yesterday was terrible. I find myself really missing him, and suddenly I was crying.... something's really wrong.
Lucky_One Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 Good gosh. Someone asks you on a date and you can't go bc you are PMS'ing? You actually turned down a possibility of a fun evening and the possibility of beginning a relationship bc of your ovaries? Good Lord. Don't you have a job? Don'y you have daily responsibilities? Do you just lay in your bed every month for a week and whine and have severe mood swings? He probably has seen what a future with you would be like - hell for part of the month. (I am so not into women who blame everything on having a period.)
Author xpaperxcutx Posted August 7, 2008 Author Posted August 7, 2008 Good gosh. Someone asks you on a date and you can't go bc you are PMS'ing? You actually turned down a possibility of a fun evening and the possibility of beginning a relationship bc of your ovaries? Good Lord. Don't you have a job? Don'y you have daily responsibilities? Do you just lay in your bed every month for a week and whine and have severe mood swings? He probably has seen what a future with you would be like - hell for part of the month. (I am so not into women who blame everything on having a period.) You have no idea what it's like to pms. Yes I have responsibilities, it's not like I'd shirk them. Going on a date is an entirely different thing, when you're having mood swings and feeling really grumpy. So I'm supposed to put on a happy face when I'm feeling like **** the entire day? It would have been very uncomfortable, and wouldn't have made a good impression.
Lucky_One Posted August 11, 2008 Posted August 11, 2008 And you're supposed to put on a happy face at work and at class or at dinner with your grandmother, too - even if you are blaming your unhappiness and crabbiness on your ovaries. And at the end of the day, you may find that you have "faked it til you maked it" (lol) and that your day hasn't been nearly as bad bc you forced yourself to look beyond your uterus and into a larger world than yourself. Sorry, but if some guy blew me off for a date twice, once with an admitted lie about being sick and another bc his balls were blue, then I wouldn't pursue him anymore.
trubella Posted August 11, 2008 Posted August 11, 2008 i seriously think you should work on why you do this op. do you plan to avoid and sabotage whenever someone shows you interest? dont know who screwed you over the in the past but everyone has been screwed over at some point, i have a few times but ive never went through extreme lengths that you have when it comes to guys. maybe your not ready to date.
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