Is This Guy Interested in Me?

[Gwyneth]

I am so bad at telling whether or not a guy is interested, but I need to know. Before I begin, let me mention that I am six months pregnant and showing. This all began before I was showing (I was hiding this around where I live for a while, but cannot any longer).

 

First let me mention that he is an employee where I live as I am a resident. Second, he's much older, at least 15 years' older than me, but age doesn't matter. Am I interested? Yes! He's beyond Sexy

 

Things he does:

 

• Says the strangest things to me that makes me feel as if he's just trying to talk to me
  
• look me right in the eyes when he talks to me
  
• seems comfortable around me
  
• told me about his past relationships
  
• seemed to make it a point to tell me that while he doesn't have children right now, he would love a little girl because little girls break his heart (at this point he didn't know I was pregnant and expecting a girl)
  

By strangest things that he says to me, I mean weird dumb stuff you don't normally talk to another human being about. Silly comments which tell me he's observant of my every move and what I wear. Noticed I change outfits one night and commented something like "now you're wearing dark, before you were wearing white." Commented how I was walking back and forth once (while I was running back and forth between the bathroom and I forget where else). He said I was making him dizzy, but I think he was just being silly.

 

Sometimes I'll say hi to him and he's in this funky daze starring at me (my chest probably since it's grown).

 

On a bright note, he's not married or has never been married...

 

What does all this mean? He just seems a bit overly friendly and I can't imagine this is being friendly. Even the other day he had a conversation with me about the color of my juice I was carrying around with me in a clear container. So weird. And he's not a weird guy. I have had many conversations with him while talking to others at the same time and he's pretty normal. He just says the oddest things to me and out of no where. So, he's essentially initiating conversations with me about these silly things. Then he will see that I think it's weird and tell me to tell him to just stop talking...lmao! So then I laugh.

 

His attitude toward me hasn't changed since he realized I'm pregnant, unless he just thinks I have grown some kind of beer belly. Well actually I did say I am pregnant or made a remark about my due date--something like that. I don't openly discuss my pregnancy around here because then I get the "who's the father" question that I avoid like the plague.

 

Sorry this is so long, but I'm just trying to figure this man out.

 

Thoughts, suggestions, ideas???

[carhill]

He sounds a lot like myself in my 30's, especially around a certain person.

 

Since it's obvious you're pregnant and that's job #1 right now, take this time to get to know him a bit better if you enjoy his company. Are you up for a high energy personality? If he's anything like me, it's a handful. Hence my suggestion to keep things casual. You may find yourself telling him things you don't normally tell others. Trust your instincts about that.

 

Best wishes for continued health and happiness!

[Gwyneth]

I'm currently Casually dating which I guess I can say the guy I'm casually dating is my companion. He keeps me company and it's been difficult, but it's been a pure relationship. He does not know of my interest in this older guy, nor do I intend on him finding out. We aren't committed, but we're just comanions. It's nice to have someone

 

So you are saying it does sound like this guy is interested?

[carhill]

Well, let me put it this way. I was very rigid (black and white) when I was younger and thought no peep of attraction ever leaked out unless I wanted it too. In talking to me friend this past year, she told me that, to her anyway, I was pretty transparent, even a number of years before I actually told her how I felt about her. bla, bla

 

The short version is, if you feel he is attracted to you, he likely is. I really trust women's instincts on these things

[Gwyneth]

Yeah, and I feel my senses have increased with the hormone levels

 

I feel he does, but a part of me thinks that maybe I am taking every thing he does nad turning it into "oh, he wants me." But the few friends and family that I have told this to all agree he's interested. I think maybe he's afraid to be completely blunt or go ahead and ask me out because he Is an employee while I'm a resident, and he might feel it's borderline sexual harassment, or something like that. Maybe he isn't allowed to date. Well, he now knows I'm the P word and I am sure he has seen me with my guy friend.

 

Well, I am interested in hearing others' views and opinions on the matter

[GPFan]

Hi Gwyneth,

 

Your thread garnered my full attention when I read

let me mention that I am six months pregnant and showing.

in the same thread as

I'm currently Casually dating

 

 

Not only that but this comment:

I don't openly discuss my pregnancy around here because then I get the "who's the father" question that I avoid like the plague.

piqued my curiosity even further.

 

 

 

I reviewed a bit of your past posting history and I must ask aren't you overwhelmed? The circumstances surrounding your pregnancy are as baffling as they are sub-optimal. The idea you could casually date, manage a 'companion' as well as persevere through a pregnancy where the father is absent is mind-boggling. I would have my hands full with any one of these!

 

 

 

Anyway, on to your question.

 

What does all this mean? He just seems a bit overly friendly and I can't imagine this is being friendly. Even the other day he had a conversation with me about the color of my juice I was carrying around with me in a clear container. So weird. And he's not a weird guy. I have had many conversations with him while talking to others at the same time and he's pretty normal. He just says the oddest things to me and out of no where. So, he's essentially initiating conversations with me about these silly things. Then he will see that I think it's weird and tell me to tell him to just stop talking...lmao! So then I laugh.

 

His attitude toward me hasn't changed since he realized I'm pregnant, unless he just thinks I have grown some kind of beer belly. Well actually I did say I am pregnant or made a remark about my due date--something like that. I don't openly discuss my pregnancy around here because then I get the "who's the father" question that I avoid like the plague.

 

Sorry this is so long, but I'm just trying to figure this man out.

 

Thoughts, suggestions, ideas???

I recommend a direct and straightforward approach. Ask him if he is interested in dating you. If he is, be sure to fill him in on your situation with complete openness and honesty. I can't fathom how else you could navigate what must be a confusing and overly-emotional period in your life.

 

Take good care of yourself and your wee one.

 

 

 

I'm currently Casually dating which I guess I can say the guy I'm casually dating is my companion. He keeps me company and it's been difficult, but it's been a pure relationship. He does not know of my interest in this older guy, nor do I intend on him finding out. We aren't committed, but we're just comanions. It's nice to have someone

 

So you are saying it does sound like this guy is interested?

Question? If you are only companions and have a 'pure' relationship, then why the need to hide your interest in the other gentleman?

[carhill]

Past experience with territorial males would be my conjecture

[quankanne]

G, if he's going out of his way to strike up conversations ... and unusual ones at that ... he's definitely interested.

 

I think the question is, if you're interested, would he get in trouble for dating a resident?

 

age difference isn't such a huge thing. Remember, little girls mature much more quickly than little boys, and I imagine that holds true with bigger boys and girls seriously, though, the age difference thing might be to your advantage because he may be more settle down (i.e., not looking to sow oats every chance he gets) and *be* in a steady relationship. He also may be more secure (his own place, steady employment, steady friendships/family relationships), and not be bringing that kind of drama to a relationship.

 

my husband is 13 years older than me, and the best part about that has been that I really haven't had to "train" him – he knows to keep the toilet seat down, he is very considerate of my needs at home or when we're on the road traveling, he gets to the point (avoids drama), stuff like that. So yeah, older guys can be quite nice to date!

[Gwyneth]

Hi Gwyneth,

 

I reviewed a bit of your past posting history and I must ask aren't you overwhelmed? The circumstances surrounding your pregnancy are as baffling as they are sub-optimal. The idea you could casually date, manage a 'companion' as well as persevere through a pregnancy where the father is absent is mind-boggling. I would have my hands full with any one of these!

 

Anyway, on to your question.

 

I recommend a direct and straightforward approach. Ask him if he is interested in dating you. If he is, be sure to fill him in on your situation with complete openness and honesty. I can't fathom how else you could navigate what must be a confusing and overly-emotional period in your life.

 

Take good care of yourself and your wee one.

 

Question? If you are only companions and have a 'pure' relationship, then why the need to hide your interest in the other gentleman?

 

The person I'm casually dating is my companion. I'm not discussing the attraction to the other man with my companion because why bother? I don't want him to get jealous and go say something to the guy. I'm leaving well enough alone. What I mean by not discussing my pregnancy around here, I meant in my home building. I don't discuss it with neighbors or employees that work here. It's none of their business. As far as they're concerned, it's my companions baby, or they just assume I'm married. I could care less, but I don't want to get too personal with my neighbors. Only one, who is my cousin, who lives here. But that's an exception. And for your question about is this overwhelming...I think a first time pregnancy in general is over whelming. I take care of myself through daily yoga and meditation. Otherwise I'd be going insane.

 

 

G, if he's going out of his way to strike up conversations ... and unusual ones at that ... he's definitely interested.

 

I think the question is, if you're interested, would he get in trouble for dating a resident?

 

age difference isn't such a huge thing. Remember, little girls mature much more quickly than little boys, and I imagine that holds true with bigger boys and girls seriously, though, the age difference thing might be to your advantage because he may be more settle down (i.e., not looking to sow oats every chance he gets) and *be* in a steady relationship. He also may be more secure (his own place, steady employment, steady friendships/family relationships), and not be bringing that kind of drama to a relationship.

 

my husband is 13 years older than me, and the best part about that has been that I really haven't had to "train" him – he knows to keep the toilet seat down, he is very considerate of my needs at home or when we're on the road traveling, he gets to the point (avoids drama), stuff like that. So yeah, older guys can be quite nice to date!

 

I too was wondering if he's allowed to have relations with anyone whom resides in the building. I dated a guy whom was 16 years older than me at one point and he acted like he was 10--still. Sadly. He was 40.

 

This guy is secure, and I have discussed him on this board before, about how I am having sexual fantasies about him. Companion and I agreed not to become fully intimate during my pregnancy and so far that has worked out well. But it's hard and the further along I get, the harder it becomes. But that's a whole nother story.

 

I just want to know if this other guy is showing signs of interest.

[Star Gazer]

Given how you know him and the absence of flirting, I'd say he's just being friendly. People CAN strike up conversations with others without being interested.

[Gwyneth]

Given how you know him and the absence of flirting, I'd say he's just being friendly. People CAN strike up conversations with others without being interested.

 

There's some flirting happening. It's not teeny-bopper flirting, but there is definitely flirting.

[carhill]

Yeah, and you're going to have to watch very carefully for it

[A.G.Doren]

I think you should trust your instincts on this guy. But I would hold off on asking this guy out let him take as long as he needs to work up to it.

 

edit> I think that you should wait for him to ask you because he's conflicted over something and he needs to resolve that conflict first. If you ask him out he'd more than likely agree, but his internal conflict would still be there and it would damage any relationship you might start to have.

[Gwyneth]

I think you should trust your instincts on this guy. But I would hold off on asking this guy out let him take as long as he needs to work up to it.

 

edit> I think that you should wait for him to ask you because he's conflicted over something and he needs to resolve that conflict first. If you ask him out he'd more than likely agree, but his internal conflict would still be there and it would damage any relationship you might start to have.

 

conflicted with something? Internal conflict?

 

Please explain.

[whichwayisup]

On a bright note, he's not married or has never been married...

 

Then just enjoy this and get to know him. Hey, ask him out to lunch!

 

I'm really happy to hear that you're doing well and that this guy is interested in you. (Yes he is. Men who aren't interested don't flirt and drop hints with pregnant ladies!) I say go for it and just have some fun.

[Gwyneth]

This began even before I was noticably pregnant. I am sure he knows I'm pregnant. I usually hold something in front of my stomach (a bag, jacket, sweater, etc.) just because I was trying to hide it as long as I could. But his "interest" began before I was noticable. So pregnant or not, he was doing this.

[whichwayisup]

Have you told him you are pregnant? Or are you assuming he knows? Some men don't notice stuff..

[Art_Critic]

WWIU has a point...

 

My wife worked until she was a bit over 5 months and none of her coworkers noticed except for one.. a female

 

She did try and minimize it though.. floppy clothes etc...

[Gwyneth]

I believe he knows because I mentioned something about my due date and if I remember correctly he was standing right there. He might not know what the heck I was talking about, though. Nah, he has to know...I'd be surprised if he doesn't. I'm sure he's seen me walking when I wasn't paying attention to him being near by. But you're right, I can't assume he knows. And I'm not about to tell him either. But like i said, he was acting this way toward me even before I was showing. It has only gotten more intense recently.

 

BTW, the third person who is friends with him whom I told I think he's exy, did tell him tonight that I think he's sexy, and apparently he didn't believe this friend / third person. He gave the friend / third person a look like "Yeah, right." ...

 

Great. Why wouldn't he believe his friend?

 

My hormones are raging...

[whichwayisup]

Why won't you just tell him outright that you are pregnant? Just be upfront and tell him.

[Gwyneth]

Why won't you just tell him outright that you are pregnant? Just be upfront and tell him.

 

I suppose, but why would I? Most of the time when he sees me, I'm in my car driving, or sitting somewhere else around the building. Hardly does he see me standing or walking and when he does, I am usually holding something that's in front of my stomach.

 

However, he did see me at the pool last week and I was wearing a bikini, but I had something laying over my stomach (the sun on my stomach makes me nauseous...).

 

I suppose I can tell him I'm pregnant, but I don't see a reason to. If he asked me out, then yes--I'd tell him I'm pregnant because I'd have a reason to. So if he does ask me out, I will tell him. Or if we are alone having a conversation and the moment is right, I'll tell him I'm pregnant. Otherwise, I am not going to walk up to him and say "hi. You are so incredibly sexy, have my hormones jumping high, oh and by the way, I'm pregnant..."

 

For now he is working my fantasies well...

[GPFan]

If he asked me out, then yes--I'd tell him I'm pregnant because I'd have a reason to. So if he does ask me out, I will tell him.

Only problem is if you wait until he asks you out, you might put him in a awkward position. You don't need to tell him the entire story at this point just make sure he is aware.

[Gwyneth]

Only problem is if you wait until he asks you out, you might put him in a awkward position. You don't need to tell him the entire story at this point just make sure he is aware.

 

True; very true. Well at this point I don't know if he's going to ask me out or not. Of course I'd be honest with him, though. But as an older guy in his 40s, I'd expect him to be more understanding than someone in their 20s or 30s.