Ashbash11 Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 I am in a really tough situation right now. I have been dating my current BF for 6 months. We have a very close connection and I feel like our relationship is unique and special. He also agrees that we are in a very special and rare relationship. However, the problem is, he just finished his Masters degree and he is now searching for jobs in our city. He's having a lot of trouble finding a job (he has a Masters in Astronomy...a difficult field to find a job in) The other problem is, he's being kicked out of his apartment in a WEEK because he will no longer be a student and he lives in student housing. He is also having problems finding a new apartment. He told me yesterday that if he can't find an apartment by next week, he will go to Japan to teach English for a year or longer. (He applied to a program there last month) I was absolutely devastated when he told me this. It was really like him dropping a huge bomb on me. The even worse part: If he does go abroad, he doesn't "believe" in long-distance relationships because he feels that they hold one person back..... So, if he goes away, I think we will break up. My question is, how should I handle this situation? Today I was so depressed that I couldn't get out of my Pajamas all day.. I didn't even leave the house. I sat around and moped and cried. All I can think about is how sad I will be when he leaves and how much I will miss him. I feel like relationships like ours are very hard to find and I will never find this again. People keep telling me to "not get too attached" and to just wait and see what happens, but it's much easier said than done. I am already attached. It's too late. How do I handle this next week of uncertainty? Am I supposed to just remain neutral? I'm finding all of this very difficult and emotionally draining. We've discussed all of this before, and he was clear that he wants to stay, at least for a while longer, but if he can't find a job here, then he will go abroad..... I just don't know what to do. I'm ready to just break up with him so that the pain won't be so bad when he actually does leave....
tealeafbud Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 Hi Ashbash, I'm not sure if this will help, but you just need to be patient and figure out his next move. There is no use getting yourself all worked up because of what MIGHT happen. I know you probably love each other, but you have to realize that it is ultimately his decision. All you can do is wait and see if it was meant to be or not. Take care and keep your chin up.
Trialbyfire Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 Ashbash, while I know you don't want to, you can't hold someone back from making any kind of life decision or it will result in resentment. For your own peace of mind, do try not to get over-wrought about this. Until it's definitive, don't do anything definitive. It's not worth taking action for something that you've only got one week to wait, before you find out for certain what his decision is.
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