It's like he's in love with me and his "first love"...

[vertigocidic]

I learned an interesting tidbit from another LS'er today. She put words to something that really makes sense regarding your dynamic. She asserted that, when words are positive, she looks to a man's actions to validate them. When words are negative, they control her perspective on the dynamic, even if actions might appear to be positive.

 

How can you apply this tidbit of wisdom to your dynamic?

 

I would apply that actions speak louder than words, am I correct?

[carhill]

UPDATE: Ok. So I have talked to my boyfriend for a while now about his ex, and he turns it around and tells me that they're nothing but "casual aqquaintances" when back then he refered to her as his "friend".

 

Superficially, the above sounds like positive words. So, heeding our tidbit of LS wisdom, watch his actions to match his words. A great example would be him talking to her on the phone in front of you without concern and keeping the conversation as such might be between "acquaintances". Another would be infrequent contact. I'm sure you can think of more examples. Watch those actions

[vertigocidic]

Superficially, the above sounds like positive words. So, heeding our tidbit of LS wisdom, watch his actions to match his words. A great example would be him talking to her on the phone in front of you without concern and keeping the conversation as such might be between "acquaintances". Another would be infrequent contact. I'm sure you can think of more examples. Watch those actions

 

True. He also told me they don't even contact that much at all! Usually every couple of months, if not ever.

 

Oh, and I am finally embracing the woman I am- I am just a couple of months away before hitting the big "18". I KNOW!

 

But, for some reason, along with becoming older, I have grown up more and more, and because of it, I seem to attract so many guys now. It is really making my boyfriend mad to the point of tears, but it makes me scoff;

 

"Honey, what goes around, comes around!"

 

>=)

[carhill]

While I understand this perspective, an important part of maturing is understanding and empathizing with others. Your BF may currently be deficient in that department, but you have a golden opportunity to shine. Yes, I know how hard that is, especially with the dynamic of sexual power. Such will challenge you for the rest of your life

[vertigocidic]

While I understand this perspective, an important part of maturing is understanding and empathizing with others. Your BF may currently be deficient in that department, but you have a golden opportunity to shine. Yes, I know how hard that is, especially with the dynamic of sexual power. Such will challenge you for the rest of your life

 

Maybe he loves the both us. Which doesn't make things any better.

 

He does hate having guys all over me though, so I wonder what that kind of action says, LOL.

 

May I also point out that I have made a mistake back in my previous posts about his romantic/sexual history. He has had so much other exes, like maybe 13 of them, me being the 14th.

 

He only had sex with three other girls, but Mary wasn't one of them. She is his first ever girlfriend. But they didn't have sex. We had sex.

 

I remember us having a convo about her again and I'm like, "If you did hung out with her this past summer, what could of happen?"

 

Him: "We'd probably wouldn't even hang out alone, her friends might of came along, they did before."

 

Me: "What if they didn't?"

 

Him: "Well, we just walk around in her town, or go to her house. She has two moms. So, we're not technically alone unless we go to her basement."

 

Me: "Excuse me? So you guys can go to her basement WITH NOBODY SEEING YOU TWO... how am I suppose to take that?"

 

Him: "This is where trust comes in, hun, you have to trust me."

 

Me: "Yes. I'm going to trust my boyfriend who will go to a basement alone with an ex. Yes. I shall."

 

 

Christ.