grogster Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 I believe it is. The institution is frieghted with such heavy, unrealistic expectations that it cannot carry the load. Also, most people live too long to remain married to the same person their entire lives.
beachbaby Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 Absolutely! What you dream and think it will be is unrealistic which leads many times to failure!
OpenBook Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 I'm weighing-in with Lizzie and Grogs... absolutely it's overrated. Not worth the pain & suffering, if you ask me. I see a lot more single people who are happy than married people. I'm certainly happier being single. Of course, I say that and tomorrow I'll meet the man of my dreams...
grogster Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 I'm weighing-in with Lizzie and Grogs... absolutely it's overrated. Not worth the pain & suffering, if you ask me. I see a lot more single people who are happy than married people. I'm certainly happier being single. Of course, I say that and tomorrow I'll meet the man of my dreams... OB makes a good point about being happier single. I'm much more content being single. Being single is my natural state of being.
Author JooSee Posted August 5, 2008 Author Posted August 5, 2008 Wow everyone...totally agreement so far. If this is the case, then why do some many people strive to be married? One of my closest friends just got married and it made me yearn to be married as well. My BF has been married 2 times and is not really into doing it a 3rd time with me. He thinks "if it aint broke, dont fix it."
Lauriebell82 Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 I have never been married, therefore I really couldn't tell ya. I do read a lot of posts here about people being more miserable in a marriage then when they are single. I think you just have to find the right person to be married to in order for it not to be overrated. I'm guessing all those who just posted are divorced. I wonder how happily married people feel.
OpenBook Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 When you're in the throes of love, it's natural to feel the Urge To Merge. But how often in our lifetimes are we in the throes of love?? And it's a state of temporary insanity -- after awhile it wears off, and ugly reality rules once again. Unfortunately, too many people get married while they're still in The Trance. And when they finally wake up, they're hopelessly trapped in the tight, cramped cage of their marriage. And there's no way out unless you chew off at least a couple of limbs escaping from it. That's when the living hell begins.
OpenBook Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 I'm guessing all those who just posted are divorced. I wonder how happily married people feel. Believe it or not, divorced people were once happily married too.
angryyoungman70 Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 I'm guessing all those who just posted are divorced. I wonder how happily married people feel. I suppose the majority of those who've answered this thread should provide an indication of popular opinon. BTW, I'm not divorced.......yet.
Lizzie60 Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 OB makes a good point about being happier single. I'm much more content being single. Being single is my natural state of being. Me too.. or me three... Makes more sense to me..
Lizzie60 Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 I sometimes wonder how it would be to have someone living with me but we would just be friends with benefits.. and living together.. no exclusivity..
luna3 Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 I suppose the majority of those who've answered this thread should provide an indication of popular opinon. not really. this audience is self-selected for this place. asin, someone happily married would have very little reason to seek this place out, or post here. not having the paper to prove it, but after a ten year relationship with upsndowns (mostly downs), i'd unfortunately have to agree with everyone else. perhaps that's why i'm here?
Rorocher Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 I think it's natural for us to want to mate. Then our society has forced us to take it even further by romanticizing the idea of mating. The honeymoon period has become glorified. Finding someone who is going to be there for us, through thick and thin. Everyday will be christmas and no major issues will ever arise. This person will remain that ever loving devoted, stars in his/her eyes person we first fell in love with blah blah blah. How many movies out there are about falling in love compared to how many are about the drudgery of love after infatuation? Society, neglected to mention that life is ordinary more often than not and that when the routine of daily living sets in, people often become unrecognizable. Romance very quickly falls to the bottom and most days becomes a constant struggle to cope. No one has been able to figure out or convey how to effectively live with these times. So ofcourse the disillusion sets in and people just don't know how to deal. Which is why marriage is overrated.
grogster Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 Believe it or not, divorced people were once happily married too. That's true: I was happily married. People change, however; so should the institution of marriage. 1
OpenBook Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 I sometimes wonder how it would be to have someone living with me but we would just be friends with benefits.. and living together.. no exclusivity.. I could be wrong, but I get the distinct impression that a lot of marriages are like this already.
Lizzie60 Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 I could be wrong, but I get the distinct impression that a lot of marriages are like this already. yabutt.. it's exclusivity just on one side.. but you're right other than that.. it's the same FWB$ stuff.. exactly.
Raina Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 I think it is overrated when it comes to all the romance aspects. However it has the advantage of more rights and financial beneficts for couples. Maybe marriage is only right for a special type of individuals. People who are easily unsatisfied, people who dislike routines, people who always want better and more, with ambition, who need all their personal needs satisfied, people who need constant passion to feel alive, those are more likely to fail to adapt to a long lasting marriage. But it's easy for all of us to fall in the nets of fairytails and marry. In my opinion, marriage is great when you have lived enough, when all you want is a small cottage, raise cattle and having a partner who takes care of you and understands the pleasure of a sunset or of a warm cup of tea in the morning.
Walk Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 Yes Overated: Because nothing magically changes after the wedding ceremony. Its still the same two people. Same quirks and idiosynchrosies that caused problems before ceremony. No happilly ever after. No "in lust" forever. No magic cure all. No moment like in shrek where both of you are magically lifted into the air.... just the same two people who were being buttheads the day before. Not Overated: Because financially more secure, socially people are more receptive to a 30+ married woman then a single/divorced 30+ woman. Because there's something really great about sitting on the couch with your H, farting a big fat stinky one, and blamming him because He married you. I actually don't feel marriage is overrated. I think peoples views on marriage are out touch with reality. Like the guy who assumed his new wife would suddenly want sex with him all the time, when she didn't like it before they got married. Or the woman who thinks her new H will stop spending all the money when he spent all the money prior to getting married. etc. etc.
Author JooSee Posted August 5, 2008 Author Posted August 5, 2008 I think it is overrated when it comes to all the romance aspects. However it has the advantage of more rights and financial beneficts for couples. In my opinion, marriage is great when you have lived enough, when all you want is a small cottage, raise cattle and having a partner who takes care of you and understands the pleasure of a sunset or of a warm cup of tea in the morning. Two things here. Marrying for financial benefits?? Ugh...I dont think so. I know people do it, but that seems, to me, a trainwreck waiting to happen. Then divorce comes up, and what was that about financial benefits? Nothing but one or the other getting sucked dry...financially AND emotionally. The second part is nice, but you can do that without being married. My man and I have been together 4 years. He is totally there for me and vice versa. We do not need a ring for that.
Author JooSee Posted August 5, 2008 Author Posted August 5, 2008 Not Overated: Because financially more secure, socially people are more receptive to a 30+ married woman then a single/divorced 30+ woman. Because there's something really great about sitting on the couch with your H, farting a big fat stinky one, and blamming him because He married you. quote] I do this with my man now, and do not need to be married to rip a big stinker for him. I agree though, people are more receptive and respectful of a 30+ married person, than single, but that kind of pisses me off. They think because I'm not married that i'm out every night raging it up like a college playa. Too bad thats not the case for all of us. I never do the bar/club scene anymore, and i feel mostly settled. I just dont have a peice of paper that defines that. Even my parents dont think i'm settled. I've ben with the same man for 4 years, and we are truly happy. But without that marriage certificate, I will forever be looked at as unsettled? Arrgh:mad:
OpenBook Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 Not Overated: Because financially more secure, socially people are more receptive to a 30+ married woman then a single/divorced 30+ woman. Because there's something really great about sitting on the couch with your H, farting a big fat stinky one, and blamming him because He married you. Ah, wedded bliss. That just makes me want to run right out and get married.
porter218 Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 I think it is a little overrated. Luckily I didn't buy into the whole glamorous blissful image of a M. I never really had it too high on my list of things to do. My H was the one to pressure me into M. But it isn't all that bad either, I am pretty happy with it.
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