carrot10 Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 My bf and I broke up last night because I knew he wasn't in love with me like I was with him. I know it is for the best but he said something that made me curious. He said he was waiting for a sign to show him that I was the one for him. To show him he was in love with me. Personally, I just follow my feelings. I believe in signs and stuff though. I was just wondering what everybody thought about that.
Lucky555 Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 Signs...I never understood what my ex meant by it. One night in the beginning of the relationship he told me about signs. I believe that we create our own destiny by doing. I think the signs which are good would follow if we do what is right. Lets consider a job..you work hard, you get more money, then all of a sudden a promotion comes along..ect the rest follows. As opposed to do drugs, live on the streets, become and addict and the person dies..hypothetically speaking. I know that sometimes we run into people and its like wow what a surprise..I really think the signs that he should have got were how much you cared for him. I think he is using that as an excuse. I think you letting him go is best if you want true love. It sounds like hes just going with it and not even trying to be the boyfriend. I think that if a guy loves you he will do anything to be with you. (well just about anything) He will DO things to show you that you mean the world to him. I hope you find that with the next guy, don't settle for less because you will get less than you settled for. I too would love to hear what others think of signs and what they think it means.
Author carrot10 Posted August 5, 2008 Author Posted August 5, 2008 Thanks Lucky, I also think it was an excuse. I am the one that did the breaking up. I have never cried so much in my life as I have last night and this morning. I know it is the best thing because at the very least, in a relationship, the other person should love you. I just made so many mistakes and am more angry at myself than anything. The one thing I have learned 100% is to STAY TRUE TO MYSELF. Hard way to learn a lesson but one that I will never forget.
Walk Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 Gesh, what type of sign would he get?!? Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign." I have honestly never heard anyone say they needed a "sign" to tell them they were in love. How long were you two dating?
Author carrot10 Posted August 5, 2008 Author Posted August 5, 2008 LOL, Walk! You knos what is even better about what happend last night? After we did out tearful good-byes, he goes out to his brand new car and the engine wouldn't start! Is that a sign? He had to come back into my house, not once but twice to get water for the engine. At that point, I felt like screaming "get the f**k out of my house and take your stupid signs with you"
Trialbyfire Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 Just set a bush on fire, on your way out of his place! There's no sign when you're in love. You know it or it's not there.
Author carrot10 Posted August 5, 2008 Author Posted August 5, 2008 I totally agree, Trial. I just wish I wouldn't have been so stupid to have thought that I saw the invisible "sign" that apparently he didn't see.
Trialbyfire Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 carrot, we all do that self-kicking, rave and rant at ourselves for what we consider our own stupidity. Hindsight is 20/20. Emotions are more complex.
Walk Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 LOL, Walk! You knos what is even better about what happend last night? After we did out tearful good-byes, he goes out to his brand new car and the engine wouldn't start! Is that a sign? He had to come back into my house, not once but twice to get water for the engine. At that point, I felt like screaming "get the f**k out of my house and take your stupid signs with you" Hahaha, that is ironic.
Lucky555 Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 carrot10: I too had to learn the hard way how to be true to myself. I too felt really numb considering i was on cloud 9 and he wasn't. I let my fantasy get to my head..when in reality its like he didn't reciprocate the way a bf should. Another thing that i learned is that I CAN let go and I CAN live without him and I CAN do whatever I want! I can say no, i can be mad, gosh i was doing 90% he was doing 10%. thats when i smartened up and said GOOD BYE. Yes, it hurt and a part of me wants to kick myself for letting him do what he did to me and me accepting it! HAHAHA NEVER NEVER again. STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF and LISTEN TO YOUR INSTINCTS...I didn't listen to myself when it was saying something isn't right and thats when it went on longer than it should have. I am now very very happy! Find you again! Here is something to do now. If you are truly feeling sad go to a puppy store i promise you, you will feel like you just saw love at first sight. I can't explain the feeling but its like an instant source of happiness!
Author carrot10 Posted August 5, 2008 Author Posted August 5, 2008 Puppies are the best! I work at a vet and have 2 pups of my own. Their love is precious! Thank you for your support! Its hard but I know this was a learning experience for me in a big way!
4givrnt4gtr Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 You know...i honestly believe that you see "signs" when you want to see them. Bassically when u are in love with someone you see random things as signs...when you are not...you just dont look for those things. Case in point. Right before i started seeing my bf, i kept seeing 11:11 everywhere. Then when i met him I would only see it when i was with him. I looked it up just for fun and in various websites it said that when u see that "sign" it meant that your guardian angels were guiding you to your right path. So I share this with my boyfriend, who thought it was cute. Then after about a year we had a break/break up. When we started talking again we would invariably see 11:11 whenever we were either talking on the phone or out on dates in random things (as in say it was 3pm but the digital clock was out of wack, flashing 11:11) . To me it became our "sign" that we should be together. He also later told me that in that month we were separated he kept seeing those numbers everywhere and made him very sad. Whether it is a sign or not, doesnt matter. What really happens is that when u place significance to something and connect it to someone you love, you unconciously seek those "signs". Bassically you will see signs when you love someone because you love someone when you see signs.
Author carrot10 Posted August 5, 2008 Author Posted August 5, 2008 I do believe in signs and intution. I know what he was saying although I think it was an excuse. I'm just so sad right now.
Grrlish Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 Are they signs? Or do we just become aware of things that show us that we're compatible? Over time, as we get to know someone, big and small things come to our attention that indicate our compatibility. As for 'signs', as Walk said above, I've never in my life heard someone say that they needed a sign that they were in love. Sorry, Carrot, sounds to me like a way of saying that he didn't feel for you as you did/do for him - which is what you said in your first post. Don't worry. You WILL find someone who feels for you as you do for them. Don't spend too much time with the wrong person. When we do this, we are unavailable to meet the RIGHT person.
Crestfallen_KH Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 I think it was an excuse too...I'm sorry carrot. I've only been in love once and I never needed anyone or anything to convince me I was. I knew I was. If you even have to question whether you are in love with someone, I'm convinced you're not.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 I don't believe in signs, it's like letting faith dictate your life. I do believe in "breakup" signs, as in when the guy starts acting certains that legitimazes a breakup. Have you seen "serendipity"? Two main characters ended up together because of all these signs that coincidentally appeared before them. What are the chances of that happening in real life? Your bf was making excuses to get out of a relationship with you.
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