silvergirl Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 How does a girl know her man really loves her?
Ronni_W Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 How does a girl know her man really loves her? I heard an interesting take on this: When WE feel really good about OURSELVES in the presence of the other, then we are being loved...they are really loving us. Opposite, of course, being that it is up to US to allow the other person to feel good about him/herself...and then s/he will feel loved by us. The same source suggests that aspects/ingredients of "love" are: admiration, respect, kindness, appreciation, graciousness -- so we want to "DO" all those things "to" the other, if we want them to feel our love. I like it (cos) It makes a lot of sense to me, on some level. In terms of an intellectual 'knowing' (vs. a heart 'feeling'), I guess we might each have our own criteria for that - I know she loves me when she bakes my favourite cookies; I know he loves me when he washes my car, etc. We look to actions, words and material objects, I guess, as "tangible proof" that feelings of admiration, respect, etc., exist in the relationship.
KinAZ Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 I think one of the problems is that people all show and expect love in different ways. I went out with a guy who thought I didn't care much about him because I didn't get jealous. Some people really do associate possessiveness with love, and truly... a person can be possessive and not love you. Love is respect, compassion, consideration, concern... and even then, people still understand the degrees of these things differently. Love is not selfish... I knew that I was loved when concern was shown for me and my issues. I would compare it to my closest friends and relatives... where your problems are my problems and my problems are your problems, not because they directly affect me, but because I care for you. No, I don't mean totally absorbed in one another's lives necessarily, but as being in love with someone is different from really truly loving them, I would compare it to everyone else who loves me. Trust is also something that I take into consideration here as well.
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