Where do I stand with her?

[Chojin]

Hello all! Been a while since I have browsed the forums. I can't remember the last time I posted, or if I even posted at all.

 

As the subject states, I feel stuck - caught between friends and something more. I'm not sure where I stand with this girl, and quite frankly, I don't think she knows either.

 

I moved office locations a few months ago. My new neighbor (the subject of this post), seemed to take an immediate interest in me. She's a friendly gal, and I'm a friendly guy, so we just got to the talking quite easily. She made it very clear that liked me; by calling me a "cutie" and turning to look in my direction a lot. Like, she'd just turn around, smile, and turn back around again. Then one night she just flat out told me she liked me. No confusion there, right?

 

Thing is, I wasn't really attracted to her at first. She kept asking for my phone number, and practically just gave me hers without my even asking. We chatted online occassionally, and the flirting just continued there. I refused to call her because I didn't want her to have my number - and I didn't really want to talk to her on the phone either. Eventually she gave up trying to get my number.

 

Oh, and she has a boyfriend.

 

So then one day she wasn't quite herself, and I later found out she's been having relationship issues with her boyfriend. I find out the boyfriend issues have been going on for some time now, and revolve around the boyfriend sort of "seeing" another girl. Long story short, boyfriend liked new girl in the past, new girl is finally giving boyfriend some attention, and now sparks may be flying. My neighbor friend is, in the meantime, furious and is up her her ears in jealously. I awkwardly listen to her side of the story in the office one day and offer whatever advice I could muster.

 

She's not exactly playing fair with her bf either. Chatting secretly with me at his house, dropping my name in his presense to get him jealous, talking with his family members about me - which evidently he finds out sooner or later. It almost seems like I'm being used by her in this sort of messed up battle of who can get the other person more jealous. I tell her she's being a hypocrite about her bf's new girl, because I'm sort of the equivalent for her.

 

A month or so passes and she feels on and off about her bf. Sometimes she feels great, othertimes downright pissed at him. Her bf cools off a bit with the new girl, but not completely. All the while, my feelings for her slowly boil. We have lunch together a few times, sometimes alone, sometimes with a group. Nothing feels awkward - and as I get to know her more, I begin to feel more comfortable being around her. I eventually give her a call one day, thereby giving her access to my phone number. she has already called me a few times to chat, and had a pleasant 2 hr conversation one evening. She once called while she was over at her bf's house. She said she had been at her bf's house waiting to talk to me to see if she could come over to my place. When I told her how ridiculous she was to call me while she was with her bf, she told me she's been a little confused with her thoughts - and was just waiting to see if I was available. She ended up not coming over.

 

And that's kind of where I am now. I have come to realize that my feelings for her are rather strong, and I can sense myself liking her more each day. I smile a bit inside when I see her in the morning, and I find myself checking my phone frequently to see if she has called. We still flirt in the office, and I just don't know what to do. I keep telling myself not to get too attached because she technically still does have a bf (they have moved backwards into a dating stage), and I can see this ending very sadly for me. But at the same time I am drawn to her and just really want to find out if thigs would work out between us.

 

So, after reading that huge wall of text (thanks for sticking around, btw), what's your take on the situation? I feel like all I can do is just wait it out and see what happens between her and her bf.

[xpaperxcutx]

Here's how I see things:

 

she's obsessingly stressed over the bf cheating on her so she selfishly uses you to instigate jealousy from her bf. You, knowing that she was involved with another man, yet still lets her use you for emotional support and in the process, falls for her. The dilemma of all this is that, you don't hold all the cards. Somewhere along the way you handed your fate over to her to either cherish or crush to pieces.

 

Seriously, it's not you, it's her. She's attached to her bf despite he's behaviour, yet she brought you into this mess. If you try to save what little of yourself that is left, you would try to distance yourself away from her as much as possible. Carrying emotions for an unavailable, let alone your neighbor carry unimaginable consquences. On the other hand, you could try to convince her that you would be the better choice in all this, and make her see the light. Or are you absolutely certain you're falling for her, and not because she's the only female contact you have in months?