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Posted

Hey all loveshack users:)

 

I have been doing good for a couple of months but my ex wrote me on facebook and now i am devastated again. Why would she write? does she have a BF? dont think so or she wouldnt be writing an ex.

 

She wrote: Hey:) how are things going?

I hope your feeling good!!

 

I always get so confused. I dont know if i should add her as a friend or if she wants that? or if i should look at her profile.Dont know if i can handle it.

 

Dont want to se that she is in a relationship. Because then all these thoughts about not being good enough..good enough in bed, good looking enough, what if he playes music like me but playes better? what if he is really something... Dont know..but if she is in love she probably wouldnt write her ex boyfriend i know i wouldnt write my ex..

 

Its so hard sleeping alone, i havent had intimacy for a long time and i feel really lonely, this is tough!

Posted

hey there buddy. I wish I could offer up some advice but I really can't. I just want to let you know I am going through the same thing. Same situation really and I got the same message almost. I would say don't talk to her. I did and it hurt. I have her password and found out she has had sex and is in love with a guy complete opposite of me in every way. I have the same issues as you in wondering if he is better at everything. But we will get through this and will get better

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Posted
hey there buddy. I wish I could offer up some advice but I really can't. I just want to let you know I am going through the same thing. Same situation really and I got the same message almost. I would say don't talk to her. I did and it hurt. I have her password and found out she has had sex and is in love with a guy complete opposite of me in every way. I have the same issues as you in wondering if he is better at everything. But we will get through this and will get better

 

 

that must have hurt really bad! You can ask yourself why does she write me when she is in love? is it only to tell us that hey i found someone new and you need to know that? or is it because the want to let us know that they are over us? or is it that they are in love and feel guilty about it and hope that we are in love to so they can get rid of the guilt? i think the motive is really weird.i would never write to my ex if i were in love..just seems strange..

 

Its nice to know im not the only one.

 

It will be hard to open my heart to love again because i would think about this kind of scenario constantly where to close lovers who will never leave each other end up like my ex and me.think i will always have that fear.. i hate love

Posted

Hey... Here is my 2 cents... Im female and i broke up with my b/f (long story but he forced my hand) anyways after a while i just wanted to say hello!! how are you? Whats new?! Im not totally sure why i felt the urge to do it i guess cause i dont want him to hate me... And i just wanted to know he is happy.. Yes it is in part guilt.. I dont think many people like hurting the person they were in love with but sometimes it just isnt working and you need to get out.. people grow apart.. Things change..

Both of you need to stop the "is he better then me thinking".. Cause that isnt the case... Think of it logically... Do you date a girl cause she is the best at everything? I dont think so.. Nobody is perfect.. You date to find out about the person .. or in some cases to try forget the last... Really it comes down to her and not you... She is doing what she wants to do

Posted

muse, take it from someone that has struggled with NC for a while now, it just isn't worth it. YOu cannot control your ex contacting you. But, you CAN control how you respond when they do contact you. And by all means, please don't initiate contact with her. Unless, you believe you've moved on enough to feel ok about it. which is pretty rare.

 

Believe me, I know how it is to be on NC for a while, then your ex contacting you. I freaked out the first tiem it happened. I called a few friends immediately and got their opinion. Mostly to vent.

 

Stick to your guns and remain NC if at all possible.

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Posted

i responded to her message on facebook. She added me as a friend. I cant see if she is single or not it just dosnt show.

 

She asked me alot of questions and said it was good to hear from me and hugs.

 

Im wondering wether or not to ask if she wants to meet up, perhaps take her to the movies and a cup of coffee. I just dont want to come on to strong.

She is very insecure,vulnerable and is suffering from anxiety. I just care alot about her but i feel i have to see her to know if i still have the strong feelings for her.

She lives 2½ hours away by car but if i take the fery i cant get there in 1½ hours. Im thinking about driving to her city and then texting her to ask her out. Its just a long drive home if she dosnt want to meet me.

 

The way she is writing to me makes me feel that she is really interested.she is not a type of girl that playes games or intentionally hurt you.She has a hard time asking for things because of fear of rejection.

 

Its been 1½ year since i have seen her but we have remained in contact for all that time exept for 3 months.

Sometimes i think that she just wants me to tell her how much i love her and how much i miss her. She dosnt want to get rejected.

 

we are both 26 and live in Denmark.

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Posted

i responded to my ex.. Then she wrote this back:

 

Its a nice appartment i got so im looking forward to moving in. I started playing tennis and got a new job.how are your family? and the little one? is it Sofia?(talking about my niece) How is it going with you music? Hope your doing good, you desserve that. Your looking really hot:-)(i lost 60 pounds)

 

Damn i feel like some weight have been lifted from my shoulders. I really feel good about her compliments..

 

What do you guys think?

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