High5 Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 My ex and I were recently back in the same city (and with all our mutual friends) for the summer after having broken up in our first year of college. He broke up with me (he said he didn't think it would work out) in January 2008, 3 days after I went back to school. We had spent all of Christmas break together so naturally, I was shattered. He was a coward for not breaking up with me face to face and pretending like everything was okay with him when it was clearly NOT. After the breakup, he called me a lot (more so than when we were dating) and I promised that we could be friends if he gave me a couple months to move on and heal. In the following 4 months, I moved on and made new friends while we was out hooking up with girls and getting a new gf. We came back for the summer and I realized that I was/ am still not over him which is why I gave in when he wanted to get a little more physical. Everytime, however, I felt empty inside and I would often go home and be super pathetic. At one point, I accidentally blurted out that I wasn't over him which I'm sure made him super proud inside. However, over the course of the summer, he became meaner and meaner to me, often putting me down and making me feel inadequate. In response, I became meaner to him though not nearly as personal. Finally, I became sick of the vicious cycle of him wanting me and then treating me coldly and then begging for my attention and then turning away from me so I refused to do anything more with him, citing the fact that he barely treated me like a friend which gave our intimacy no meaning. And then he got REALLY mean and essentially told me that he didn't want to be friends with me and he wasn't sure how he could have ever wanted that in the first place etc..etc.. I told him that was sad because I was still one of the few people who knows him for what he's really like and still loves him for it. He told me in return that I don't really care for him. I don't know how how he could possibly think that I don't care about him... especially since i spent the last 7 months trying to move on and I've done everything I can to make him happy. I feel that the only thing that will make him happy is if I disappear from his life. I'm not really hurting anymore because I've begun to realize what an immature little sh*t he is but nonetheless, I'm just curious as to why he started becoming so mean to me. He broke up with me, not the other way around. It's like he's trying to find faults in me so he can validate our breakup. According to him, I'm too annoying (I don't call him, or text him, or demand his attention). But if that was really the case, why can't he just get over himself and try and make our friendship work. I've had to put away a lot of anger and hurt to make it work and I don't think he can comprehend that. Note: The way I've always approached our relationship and every relationship i've ever had is through a "hands off approach." I don't excessively call, text, email, or message. When we hang out in a group, I avoid talking too much to him (now, in fear of him yelling at me) and I'm chill and for the most part, rational. This kid is incredibly smart so I don't get why he's being so mean to someone HE hurt.
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