Update (sorry so long)

[hotpinklove85]

Ok, I posted a couple of weeks ago about wanting to get married

My link:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t157910/

 

I decided last night that I wanted to talk to him about these issues since we havent talked about it in 6 months.

 

I feel that he has been very distant with me, lack of affection and so forth. I didnt understand what was wrong. He has been getting very frustrated with me lately very easily (and vise versa). I would say its because we are spending too much time together but thats not the case because we both work all the time. I dont see him nearly as much as I would like to, so I dont think that is the case.

 

When we first got together I was 19 and didnt really have any responsibilities so I partied alot. I stopped when I got with him, because he wasnt in to all that. I dont regret it, I am very happy that I have settled down and hold a job and have everything that I have now. But After we had been together we went with some of our friends to a strip club. He bought one of our friends a lap dance and I asked him why he didnt get one, and he told me "I am not into that, we are here showing everyone else a good time. I dont really like them" I was shocked but went with what he said. I wouldnt have a problem with all of that as long as I was there with him (because I have heard alot and seen alot of raunchy things happen). Well, a few months later he asked if he could take one of his guy friends who had never been out to one. and I was fine with it because I knew he didnt like that sort of thing and I had nothing to worry about. well I found out different and that point on I was very uncomfortable with him going out to one without me, and he didnt want to go with me.

 

To this day I have told him, I am not comfortable with it, I dont like it and if you go out to one anyway knowing how I feel, that would hurt and I will not be sitting at home waiting for you and dont bother calling me. I found out last night that he holds this against me. He feels like he cant go out and do what he wants because I am telling him not to. He says that he has never been able to go "out with the guys" before and he wants to be able to do things that he wants to do.

 

I told him that if he didnt lie to me and keep things from me that it wouldnt have been a problem, and he doesnt make me feel like he wants me. I told him that maybe if I felt like I was desirable to him or if I felt like I was loved then things might be a little different.

 

I began to tell him that maybe I just dont make him happy anymore, and if I was keeping him from living his life then to let me know and we can go our seperate ways. He says no, I just want you to be ok with me doing that sort of thing. Its kind of hard when I dont feel like he is attracted to me anymore, or even that he still loves me. I know he tells other girls, that are his friends how beautiful they are and things like that so I feel that I am just not who he wants to be with anymore. With all of that going on I am supposed to be ok with him paying a stripper to rub herself all over him?? I just cant be ok with it. and I feel like he is not willing to re-assure me that I have nothing to worry about.