PinkRoses44 Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 A month went by - nc - I still felt extremely hurt so I e-mailed him to let him know how much I was hurt. He e-mailed me back to say that if there weren't so much sexual tension, we could be great friends. He also said it was too difficult to talk with someone he wanted to have more great sex with when he has a significant other. He also said he was so sorry for hurting me. It was the last thing he wanted. Why would he say such a thing to me - is he trying to keep me happy so that if the door opens up for another opportunity, I'd be there? Or is it that he has some kind of feeling/attachment to me and won't entirely let me go? I don't understand how he'd think that our friendship of 10 years was purely based on the idea sex - is that possible when you weren't having sex until recently? How do you get over this? The Background Story: I have known this guy for about 10 years. For the longest time, I thought we were good friends. He has been in a serious relationship for about a year. But for about 6 months, we've been exchanging flirty text messages. We've done that for his other relationships too. I couldn't take it anymore so we decided to have our fun since his gf lived an hour away. I was stupid because this was my virginity. I stayed with him for three days. In between our breaks, he would go online to talk to his gf while I sat there. I was so hurt and should've known better. He told me that we couldn't be friends anymore after that
Meaplus3 Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 A month went by - nc - I still felt extremely hurt so I e-mailed him to let him know how much I was hurt. He e-mailed me back to say that if there weren't so much sexual tension, we could be great friends. He also said it was too difficult to talk with someone he wanted to have more great sex with when he has a significant other. He also said he was so sorry for hurting me. It was the last thing he wanted. Why would he say such a thing to me - is he trying to keep me happy so that if the door opens up for another opportunity, I'd be there? Or is it that he has some kind of feeling/attachment to me and won't entirely let me go? I don't understand how he'd think that our friendship of 10 years was purely based on the idea sex - is that possible when you weren't having sex until recently? How do you get over this? The Background Story: I have known this guy for about 10 years. For the longest time, I thought we were good friends. He has been in a serious relationship for about a year. But for about 6 months, we've been exchanging flirty text messages. We've done that for his other relationships too. I couldn't take it anymore so we decided to have our fun since his gf lived an hour away. I was stupid because this was my virginity. I stayed with him for three days. In between our breaks, he would go online to talk to his gf while I sat there. I was so hurt and should've known better. He told me that we couldn't be friends anymore after that He does not sound like a friend at all if he was messing around with you while he had a girl friend. He seems like a player and if thats the case your better off without him in your life. I would stick with NC and forget about him. There are plenty of unattached available men out there. Good luck. AP:)
torranceshipman Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 Listen to what he said word for word as he is telling you the literal truth. He still really fancies you, had great sex with you, but thats all it was and he isnt interested in pursuing you as a girlfriend-just for fun. And he is weak willed so if he sees you something might happen as he is too weak to stop himself (sheesh). You are much better than this guy - he is so horrible in my view for just having his fun with you when he knew you liked him a lot, especially as he was the guy you lost your virginity to!!-he should have been way more sensitive about all this - plus emailing his girlfriend in front of you - thats nasty of him. I dont think he was ever your friend and I'd stay way clear of him from now on. You dont want a dirtbag like that for your boyfriuend or your friend! He sounds like a complete player. Sorry this happened to you...there's lovely single guys out there so I hope you run into a lovely one soon!
BklynGuy Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 Some people make friends with the opposite sex because somewhere deep down, that individual is hiding some sexual feelings for you, and when the opportunity presents itself they will go for it. Leave this guy alone. You had sex with him that can kill a friendship. Also, since he has flirted with you for other relationships, it says he's using you as some sort of sexual/emotional backup but you're not gf material to him. Stay away from him from now on. He may just keep dangling you on an emotional/sexual leesh for as long as he can.
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