Some people funny talking about their past

[HiItsMe]

I met this woman online (yes, I might succeed in meeting her in person! LOL) We had been emailing back and forth several times getting to know each other.

 

In her profile she has "Single", so I think I asked her how long she's been single, and she said that she was actually divorced (because you can pick that option in your profile) but she figured that it was something personal to her, and she cared not to reveal...nor even discuss her previous relationship with me in an impersonal medium....such as email.

 

Do some people feel funny talking about their past relationships....even if it's not specific....like "How long have you been unattached" or "how long have you been single?"

 

I don't know, they just seem to be just common questions of curiousity when getting to know someone?

 

Majority of the people have no problem saying how long ago they were divorced, heck, they'll even volunteer info.

 

Perhaps it's a subject of hurt?

 

Heck, she didn't even want people on the internet knowing she's a divorcee'.

[serial muse]

I met this woman online (yes, I might succeed in meeting her in person! LOL) We had been emailing back and forth several times getting to know each other.

 

In her profile she has "Single", so I think I asked her how long she's been single, and she said that she was actually divorced (because you can pick that option in your profile) but she figured that it was something personal to her, and she cared not to reveal...nor even discuss her previous relationship with me in an impersonal medium....such as email.

 

Do some people feel funny talking about their past relationships....even if it's not specific....like "How long have you been unattached" or "how long have you been single?"

 

I don't know, they just seem to be just common questions of curiousity when getting to know someone?

 

Majority of the people have no problem saying how long ago they were divorced, heck, they'll even volunteer info.

 

Perhaps it's a subject of hurt?

 

Heck, she didn't even want people on the internet knowing she's a divorcee'.

 

I think there's a fear in the online world of dating that just putting yourself into a flat box (whether about age, being divorced, body type, height, etc.) immediately shunts you out of people's search criteria, even if they'd feel differently were they to meet you in person. I think the fear is that some people might read "divorced" and assume that means "baggage," in the same way that some people might read "average" body type and assume that means "overweight."

 

I don't know...something like being divorced, in particular, where it's an emotional rather than physical criterion, could have many nuances (divorced and I'm fine; divorced and I'm a mess; divorced and I'm bitterly lonely; divorced and I've happily moved on) that simply aren't conveyed in a single word, and are quite personal. So I could see why someone would simply rather go there in person with a new date, when you can clarify your state of mind nicely and succintly. But I could also see why someone might feel deceived for not being told up front. Tough call.

[Shygirl15]

Majority of the people have no problem saying how long ago they were divorced, heck, they'll even volunteer info.

 

I have no problem disclosing that I'm divorced. If anything, I believe it gives me some extra points, at least to people who are looking for a serious relationship.

 

That's kinda weird, but maybe she just got divorce and is still in pain? (red flag).

 

So looks like your emails are now working, huh? Good stuff..

[lovestruck818]

I met this woman online (yes, I might succeed in meeting her in person! LOL) We had been emailing back and forth several times getting to know each other.

 

In her profile she has "Single", so I think I asked her how long she's been single, and she said that she was actually divorced (because you can pick that option in your profile) but she figured that it was something personal to her, and she cared not to reveal...nor even discuss her previous relationship with me in an impersonal medium....such as email.

 

Do some people feel funny talking about their past relationships....even if it's not specific....like "How long have you been unattached" or "how long have you been single?"

 

I don't know, they just seem to be just common questions of curiousity when getting to know someone?

 

Majority of the people have no problem saying how long ago they were divorced, heck, they'll even volunteer info.

 

Perhaps it's a subject of hurt?

 

Heck, she didn't even want people on the internet knowing she's a divorcee'.

 

Someone lied online? Wow, I'm shocked!

[HiItsMe]

I have no problem disclosing that I'm divorced. If anything, I believe it gives me some extra points, at least to people who are looking for a serious relationship.

 

That's kinda weird, but maybe she just got divorce and is still in pain? (red flag).

 

So looks like your emails are now working, huh? Good stuff..

 

Yeah...she figured that everyone is in only 2 categories.

 

"never married, divorced, widowed"

 

or attached (attached, married).

 

And, she's been divorced for many years, so water under the bridge there.

[flc]

I have no problem disclosing that I am divorced or even recently divorced but I don't think I would be looking to discussing the details at the email stage or even the first couple of dates.