DdDdDdD Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 If I really know in my heart I'm interested in someone, I'll ask them out or be more initiative towards them, even if it is uncomfortable or awkward.. But if I'm not sure about this person, maybe I see them as someone I COULD get to like, I have a really hard time initiating things. I could get their number, or be the first to call.. but it's harder for me to suggest a time or place to meet. Or to set a date, make definitive plans, etc. It usually happens when I meet a girl I'm just attracted to but don't feel a connection with. Cause here's the deal, I could seem boring, but I'm just majory depressed and covering it up as being boring I'm only half-kidding there. So that's my problem. I'll meet a girl, she seems really interested, I initiate the first initial contact, whether it's going up to her, talking to her, getting number etc.. but after that point.. I'm done. I don't feel like doing anything else beyond that point. but then I start feeling anxiety, like I SHOULD be doing something. Maybe a week later, she'll text or email.. asking whatcha doing this week? And I get all paranoid, cause I feel like I can't give an answer, cause I don't do anything. I could be honest, say, I'm going to wake up at 3, lay around until 8, go to best buy at 9, come home and watch the news. What about you? And again, this is only cause I think I been going thru this really long, depression. I know if I just open up to knowing somebody, to start dating, once I'm back out there, I'll get the feelin' again.. and I'll be fine. But I'm scared to, cause like I said, if the chemistry isn't 100%.. I'll resort to my boring depressed self.. So, is there some systematic approach I can take with this type of situation? Right now, what I do is stall as long as possible until she's practically begging for me to come out. But that only works if she, for whatever reason, really really likes me, where I feel comfortable enough showing her this side of me. But that rarely happens..
Lucky555 Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 as Nike says, "JUST DO IT" ask the girl. Get some confidence..do some sort of thing you are really good at gain your confidence. WOMEN LOVE CONFIDENCE!
Nantes Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 You may need to deal with your depression before you can feel confident enough to “get back out there”. Are you getting any help for your depression? I think you’re doing quite well by still talking to girls and getting their numbers, and the girls are obviously still interested in you if they are still trying to contact you after a week You say you will take the initiative to ask out someone you really like – was this before you were depressed? If lately you have been meeting girls with whom you don’t feel a connection, then maybe you are not really attracted to them; don’t feel obligated to ask for a girl’s number just because it’s something a guy is supposed to do. Or maybe the “lack of connection” is that you don’t feel comfortable enough to reveal your true self to them – depression and all. There is risk in revealing yourself to someone new because if they reject you, it may make you more depressed. Are you feeling well enough to deal with rejection if the girl does not support you? You might luck out and find a really supportive girl who understands your situation, and is attracted to you despite your depression and “boringness”. But do you want to meet a girl because you think it may help you out of your depression? In my opinion, a person needs to be emotionally well enough themselves before they can have a good relationship with someone else.
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