lajonesin Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 I've never done this before so bear with me. I read through alot of posts and thought I would just give it a try for myself. My story is pretty short but embarrassing. I have been dating a guy for about 4 months now and although we have had a few ups and downs, it's been mostly rewarding and fun. We were a couple that made all of our plans together, sent cutsey text messages during the day, and made picnic lunches and wrote on the bathroom mirror. (I know...kinda gross) My experience with him lead me to believe he was a very kind person, protective and all about me. Who wouldn't love that, right? So in response, I became loving and nurturing towards him as I felt very safe, wanted and appreciated. For some reason, he has decided to end it on a dime. I say he has decided because I really have no confirmation from him on this. See, we sorta volunteer together and have a circle of mutual friends. We see each other regularly in those situations as well as on dates, etc. The last few times we have been together in non-date situations he has simply ignored my presence. He will speak to me if our paths intersect but basically, it's as if we are broken up. He even invited me to come out and then ignored me. It's so weird to me! Wouldn't he just say 'Hey...not working out here' or at least leave a post it on my car windshield or something? He just acts as if we are broken up and expects me to act accordingly. It's just mind boggling!! I get it though. He's just not into me so no biggie. Happens to everyone but really now! This seems over the top to me. Nothing about his past behavior would have ever led me to believe he was an ******* but apparantly he is. Now how do I handle all our friends' questions so as to minimize the uncomfortableness for everyone? A few have asked what the hell is going on and I'm embarrassed to have to say that I have no idea why he isn't speaking to me. My only other option is to either lie or make up something. Maybe I should just direct them to him and have him answer but I loathe drama. Has anyone else had this happen before? I feel like an idiot!!!!
Rafa Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 Hi lajonesin, Allow me to repay the favor by replying to your post Your story is not embarrassing, you've done nothing to be ashamed of, it's just what is happening to you. If anything, the guy should be a little embarrassed by his own inability to face up to things. I have to say, this guy sounds a bit gutless. Whenever a breakup occurs, it is common decency to face it and talk to the person involved. This shows a huge lack of respect from him. You are right to say that it is a little weird. It's sad that he seems to be a very different person than the one you thought you were getting to know. Perhaps you could just take him aside the next time you see him, and ask him why he didn't let you know what was going on, and why is he suddenly ignoring you? He has put you in an awkward situation with your mutual friends. I think if you just tell your friends what you have said here, you don't come across like an idiot, it's clearly not your fault that he has decided to ignore your presence, even if he wanted to break it off, that is not the way to go about it. To be honest, I know it's a cliché but you are better off without someone who is capable of this behavior unless he has a very good unknown reason. Hope that helps. Rafa
citizen67 Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 Rafa is right on the money - this guy is a jerk. You have every right to confront him in some fashion and say "what gives that you are ignoring me all of a sudden - if you arent interested in dating me anymore its cool but you could have let me know" - when your mutual friends ask what's up - say "ask him"
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