Am I crazy? I just want to tell her how I feel but she'll just think I'm jealous.

[a friend indeed]

My friend who has moved to AZ which is clear across the country from me, we keep in contact by email and using instant messenger. She's a wonderful person. She is supportive of everything that I stand for and supportive of my goals. Or so I thought...

 

One of our goals was to do a lo-carb diet and we would be each other's support, etc. She would tell me that it was so hard to start a diet, etc. and I knew exactly what she meant. We struggled together with good days and bad days. She told me she lost a couple of pounds and I genuniely was happy for her and pulling for her all the way.

 

When she came to visit a few months ago, she was acting really strange and she kept talking about how much weight she lost. I thought she looked the same way before she moved away. She's thin and she looked great. She keeps saying she wants to lose 50 lbs. I don't know where? I'm the one that needs to lose 50 lbs!

 

We were supposed to meet with people we used to work with and she called me at work and said "we're going to meet at 'blah blah' restaurant so if you're there, you're there..." I decided that I wasn't going to be there with that kind of tone in her voice.

 

I didn't go to meet everyone for lunch feining that I had to work through my lunch.

 

After she got home, she emailed me and asked me why I didn't go, I said "sorry, I couldn't make it." she said "oh I figured because it was such a long walk for you..." so now she's deciding for me whether or not I can walk? (this is all in Chicago)

 

Then she tells me how her 'friend is jealous of her losing weight..." and it goes on and on... I just want to tell her how I feel but she'll just think I'm jealous.

[Starlight43]

I say don't burn bridges. It sounds like your friend is still very insecure about her own weight and she's projecting her feelings on you that you are the one. but if I were you I wouldn't say anything. weight for girls is a touchy subject, so I just wouldn't. I say just move along with the friendship and try to forget about the whole thing.

[CelticAnastasia]

I can not say that losing weight is an excuse for a sudden bought of narcissism. It's great that she lost weight-- more power to her-- but she doen't have to put you down in the process! I think alot of the time as women we are taught to keep our mouthes shut when we are mistreated and that just isn't right in itself. If she's afflicted with some serious feling of granduer she needs to deal with herself instead of putting you in an even lower place-- which will seriously effect your own ability to lose weight.

 

Really look at why she is doing this. Is she acting this weigh so you won't catch up to her weight or surpass her goal? Is she threathened by the attention you would have had at the lunch? Is she so wrapped up in all the new found attention she feels she doesn't need you as a friend anymore? Is she being this way over an arguement or hard feeling? Is she being mean as a way of hiding some other emotions? I think that if it's really bothering you you should definently tell her. Give thse hard feeling and hurt back to her and remove the weight from your chest-- after all, this situation is her doing. Take care and stay strong.