Hopelessly_Devoted Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 I still have feelings for my ex of 11 years, we broke up around may 20th , so its almost 3 months. I lost 50 pounds and am looking great, get a lot of date offers but I do not want to rebound. I feel like I almost ready to date, but do not want to transfer my feelings to the next guy and get hurt again. So when is it considered rebounding?
vivrantflo Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 Give yourself some credit. 3 months is no time. 11 years is a really long time to be with someone. There's nothing wrong with taking more time for yourself. And in terms of dating. Just go out casually. Let your date know that you're not looking for anything serious right now... be on the same page, and just have fun going out. You'll know when you're ready to date. But I think you need more time... 11 years is such a long time to share with someone.. Continue to take great care of yourself!
Author Hopelessly_Devoted Posted August 4, 2008 Author Posted August 4, 2008 thank you for your advice. I actually went to south beach, florida last week for 5 days and had an awesome time and realized alot of things. I no longer want him back right now, there is the future but there are no promises so I will countinue to find myself and not call him.
carhill Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 OP, test yourself. Go out with a guy you find attractive and see if you can go the whole evening without thinking of your ex. Be honest with yourself. If you can, you're ready to date, IMO. Not perhaps ready for a new R, but at least ready to consider possibilities. IMO, if you were married or in a LTR with your ex for 11 years and didn't detach prior to the end, you've likely got a good year ahead of you before such thoughts/feelings fade. The actual length depends on your psychology and the depth of your process of emotional investment. Everyone is different. The good men of the world thank you for considering our feelings in this regard, because rebounds affect us, too
lkjh Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 it's not a rebound but take it slow because women tend to move real fast when they get out of long term relationships
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