BlueEyed Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 Ok well I've been seeing this guy for over 2 months now, I know that we both are seeing other people he says he dates, and talks to other women but nothing serious. He says he really wants to see where things go with us, and he talks about the fact that if we were closer right now we would be getting along splendid. He's actually lives in the same state as me, but currently resides out of the country for work, and will be back for a couple months in August, before he has to return. Ok now the issue is, when we began to date...he called all the time we IM each other daily nonstop, we had really good conversations it was a little rocky in the beginning because we differed on quite a few things. Now Im a very openly sexual person, who doesn't have a problem discussing sex very candidly, but it seems like since we have been doing that as well as other little things (since hes so far away) it seems like that's all he wants to talk about now, the conversation have pretty must come to an halt -- he even seems to get a little upset when i want to discuss something other than sex citing that since we are on different time zones that at 1am its kinda hard to discuss anything else but that -- which i understand, but that still does not explain why the calls have stopped? He use to try to involve me in the things that he was doing, he just really kept me updated on his life, now i have to keep asking about things hes's doing. We still IM daily, albeit he seems really excited to hear from me, or when he IM's first its always with a big "hi baby!" or asking what I'm doing, or what im up to -- but again the conversations we once had is now gone. Almost like he looks at me as someone he can have fun with as oppose to someone he would want to marry. By the way the this is a guy who wants to be married in the next three years, which worries me because if hes not trying to get to know me furture, he did at the start but not anymore. I think this must be a clear sign that i wouldn't be his marry type anyway correct? I just feel like in order to have something meaningful with someone i have to put my sexual side on the back burner, unless i feel like they don't respect or think I'm a whore -- which I'm not, i may enjoy sex, but i only enjoy it when I'm in an committed relationship. So i have to ask, did i discuss sex too soon, should i have waited for more an emotional connection before letting him see that side of me? Could it be he's waiting for me to make more of an effort to show i want more from him? I feel like i should be saying to myself "he's just not that into you" because if he was he would be trying much harder. Thanks for any help Blue-
citysreetz Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 You should have communicated your needs and expectations with this guy if you both were really infact "into eachother". Before you had sex! Now it seems that it was just about sex due to bad communication in the beginning. Get it?? Good luck!
Author BlueEyed Posted August 3, 2008 Author Posted August 3, 2008 You should have communicated your needs and expectations with this guy if you both were really infact "into eachother". Before you had sex! Now it seems that it was just about sex due to bad communication in the beginning. Get it?? Good luck! Hi thanks for your reply, I guess I should have been a bit clear and indicated that we actually haven't had sex yet, because at the start it really was about connecting and getting to know each other, until he left for Europe -- thats pretty much when our problems began, as we both started discussing sex and then the topic of sex itself became more frequent, and then the conversation and the connection died. We connect where sex is concerned, but we all know it takes more than sex to have something worth wild and meaningful with a SO.
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