my boyfriend and I are in the same place after five years of dating.

[aussie87]

I would like to think that I have grown alot as a person in the last couple of years, and I think that if something doesn't change I will break. My Boyfriend and I have dated for five years. he is three years older, we began dating when I was in high school. he is a terrific guy, warm caring, and I love talking with him. He has this great group of friends that have adopted me, and we are always going out. I have a great life I am going to school to become a pastry chef and loving the work. But. My boyfriend and I are living together and have been for three years. I think I went into this phase of the relationship thinking that we were going to be engaged in the next few years, and as the years go by and almost all of his friends get engaged and now married, I am feeling a little betrayed. I can't lie and say that It's his fault, I really wish that I had stayed on my own. I do not see myself moving out and staying in this relationship, he thinks that that would be a sign that the relationship is over. I feel awful and need to make a decision one way or the other.

[citysreetz]

Definately a case of bad communication. Your both to blame. All you can do now is sit and talk. Hold nothing back from one another. See were your cards lie and make a decision based on the "cards". You guys are not on the same page obvioulsly! That's your first mistake. Good luck!

[timothyh12]

just take it easy ive been dating my girl for 2.5 years and she gave me four years to get married yikes communication mabey he is scared i am but tell him this look life is like parachuting sometimes you gotta grab your balls and just jump

[Citizen Erased]

I take it by your name you're 20-21? If so, aren't you a little young to be this serious about someone?

[Lauriebell82]

I take it by your name you're 20-21? If so, aren't you a little young to be this serious about someone?

 

Yeah if you are in your early 20's maybe he just isn't ready? He may just be okay with living together because he isn't ready. Have you voiced your concerns to him? Not so much pressure him into marriage, but tell him how you feel and let him know that you want your relationship to go somewhere.

 

I understand your impatience after 5 years, but I take it you are still young, so most likely he just isn't ready. You have to decide if you love him enough to wait for him.

 

Oh and I know the pressure of others around you getting engaged and married can be hard, but just try to keep telling yourself to be patient for your time.

[Citizen Erased]

I'm the same age as the OP, have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. People have started asking when we will be engaged. Maybe I would go all please make me a bride to be crazy if I didn't notice that those friends of mine that were engaged are no longer even together. I would much rather not have the added pressure. I think at my age it would be more about the pretty ring and status then anything else. I think I would prefer to not be divorced by 23.

[Lauriebell82]

I'm the same age as the OP, have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. People have started asking when we will be engaged. Maybe I would go all please make me a bride to be crazy if I didn't notice that those friends of mine that were engaged are no longer even together. I would much rather not have the added pressure. I think at my age it would be more about the pretty ring and status then anything else. I think I would prefer to not be divorced by 23.

 

Yeah, I think the pressure of everyone around getting engaged/married can make you feel like you want to be included as well and want what they all have.

 

The truth of the matter is, sometimes it's better to just date then actually get engaged (esp. if there is no wedding in sight). I think there is some added pressure/stress to a relationship when you get engaged. So it is important to have even more good communication.

 

To the OP, I realize you may be starting to feel the "crunch" but at such a young age, but you really do have a lot of time to get engaged/married. Pay attention to how your relationship is going right now, see if it is moving towards a future. Because it's kind of obsolete to get engaged to someone you are not compatible with.