SirgeMan Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 I've been involved with a woman for about a year in an LDR. We've made tentative plans for me to move to her city, we are pursuing a number of possible routes for me to land work there. However, a few weeks ago during an annual physical, I had a health condition turn up that's made me extremely depressed. Its stressful enough to be involved in a LDR when things are at their best, but now, when I'm feeling pretty rotten, it's beginning to take its toll. I can imagine she's living a fairly negative free life in her city right now, but when she turns to me, it feels like a real downer. I don't know what to do or say. In light of what I'm going through, I try to keep the best face as possible - but frankly its been tough. And now I see she's slowly starting to pull away. Just a few weeks ago, our communications were pretty frequent - happy phone calls, vid chats, IMs, etc. Now, we IM once a day, but its little more than "hi, here's what I'm doing, and seeya later". She shared with me today that she avoids asking me how I am lately, because she's hoping I'm staying positive. My thought is that she's having a hard time handling what's going on and doesn't know how to deal with it. And whatever positive appearance I'm trying to present, probably isn't working. I was thinking of calling her and telling her that she doesnt need to bear the weight of it all and I love her just the same. Just having her in my life is support enough during this time.
HisLove Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 Hi SirgeMan - sorry to hear you have some health worries. I hope things turn out well for you. I don't really know what to say to comfort you or give you any helpful suggestions. Perhaps she's not coping with your depression rather than not coping with your illness. ?
Lucky_One Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 When I was in college, I was in a LDR with a guy who was about 6 years older than I was. He had Chrohn's Disease (sp?) and I very rarely ever saw side effects on the few times that we were together. But when the time came for him to have a lot of intestine removed in surgery for a colostomy, he broke up with me. Lovingly. And he was right - I was nowhere ready for that sort of care or intimacy at my age and at that state of our dating. I hope you find a resolution to your problems!
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