I do not want to lose his freindship, but I believe that his ex and I have a future.

[confucius]

I have recently run into a problem with one of my freinds. He broke up with a girl some time ago. Unfortunealty he has a hard time getting over things and has become almost obsessive about her. He is always jealous when ever she looks at another person. Just this past little while His ex-girlfreind and I have been getting close, and I have known her a lot longer than he has. But regaurdless he has found out. I do not in anyway shaoe or form want to lose his freindship, but I also beleive that me and the girl could have a very good future together, reguardless I am stumped and I have to talk to him about it so that he can hear it from my mouth, but I am still unsure what to say to him. If anyone has been in this situation please help me out, or if anyone has any good ideas please let me know, thanks a lot.

[Tony T]

So what you are saying is that one of your friends is going through great pain because of the break up with a girl you are now trying to make it with. You want to be able to tell him, basically, "Hey, I know you're going through a tremendous amount of hurt and pain and you're jealous as hell of every movement your ex makes but the two of us have been talking and we want to start seeing each other?" Is that kind of what you're wanting to communicate?

 

Well, if I got that right, you got a hell of a lot more nerve than I could ever have. There is simply no way on the planet to break that to a guy in his state of mind without driving him to the edge. I think the two of you ought to take your affair and move out of town for a while. I've seen murders for things less hurtful than this. Watch yourself. You're playing with a guy who's feelings are very volatile and you just don't know how he will react.

 

Why don't you just hold off on this for a while? Why did you have to pick this particular lady to get close to? Even if you don't want this guy for a friend anymore, you are going to cause major problems for everybody if you don't wait until some time has passed.

 

Gawd, I'm glad I'm not part of this drama....you have made me feel so much better about my day!!!

[moimeme]

I thought there was supposed to be a Code of Behaviour for friends that includes 'thou shalt not go after thy friend's ex'.