borelandkaren Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 For the most part, I accept who I am but not when it comes to "that time of the month!" I hate it!! At "this time", I miss him so much. I can't stop thinking about him, I'm emotional and cry at the drop of a hat. Most of all, I keep thinking about how much I loved him and how if .......so many ifs. I find it hard to go anywhere. I've spent all w/end glued to this computer, thinking of ways to contact him, as I don't know where he is anymore. Sad but true. I know it's pathetic. I know he was cruel, vicious and nasty to me but at "this time", I love him. I know I can't have contact with him because I have to get over him but I keep reading posts where, they've got back in contact and want you back, etc, etc. I feel so envious and unloved. It makes it difficult because where I've moved to, I know no-one, so the isolation gets to me. I know, I know, boo-hoo, poor me and yes I am wallowing but sometimes, "this time", it all hits really hard, whether it's boo-hoo or not. I miss him. And then the dam will break!
Nevermind Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 Karen, you cannot be strong all the time. If you neglect your feelings they will come back to haunt you one day. Let it out. Cry, if you need to cry, wallow if you need to wallow. Allow yourself to be weak every once in a while. There is nothing bad about it. Maybe this is a good time to open up to somebody new. Do you know anybody whom you could invite to have a coffee or a beer? I'd come over in a heartbeat, if you weren't so far away. ((hugs)) I know how you feel. It will get better.
ioncebelieved Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 For the most part, I accept who I am but not when it comes to "that time of the month!" I hate it!! At "this time", I miss him so much. I can't stop thinking about him, I'm emotional and cry at the drop of a hat. Most of all, I keep thinking about how much I loved him and how if .......so many ifs. I find it hard to go anywhere. I've spent all w/end glued to this computer, thinking of ways to contact him, as I don't know where he is anymore. Sad but true. I know it's pathetic. I know he was cruel, vicious and nasty to me but at "this time", I love him. I know I can't have contact with him because I have to get over him but I keep reading posts where, they've got back in contact and want you back, etc, etc. I feel so envious and unloved. It makes it difficult because where I've moved to, I know no-one, so the isolation gets to me. I know, I know, boo-hoo, poor me and yes I am wallowing but sometimes, "this time", it all hits really hard, whether it's boo-hoo or not. I miss him. And then the dam will break! I know all too well the feeling of envy about getting back and having contact. Nevermind stated it best, "you can't be strong all the time." That I know as well!!! Lat night I couldn't shut that damn mind of mine off and it pretty much was a miserable evening well into the early morning. I guess my mind decided to have a marathon of thoughts.
Issues & tissues Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 Karen, I know that I for one feel very vurnerable during that "time of the month" you speak about. In fact, even now, 8 months on, while I am for the most part recovered, for some reason there are a few days each month when I reminisce and pine for the "good days", miss him terribly and can do nothing but sit at home and cry. Recalling some of the more miserable moments together [and there were a fair share of those] helps me put everything back into perspective and see the relationship for what it really was. Usually, I have to put in a lot of effort on days like that to persuade myself that the relationship really was toxic and that the break up really was the best solution. I can now pretty much predict when those "days" will be each month and so I try to plan something extra nice for myself on those days e.g. get a hair cut, have a manicure, go to the theatre, go shopping, indulge in a glass or two of Baileys, etc --anything at all that makes me feel special! Hang in there. You are doing great!
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