KinAZ Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 If you don't living a small, isolated area... why would you pay for an online dating service? I can possibly understand some of the more expensive ones as they supposedly help you weed out all of the flirtly mcnasties, but what's the difference between dating online and just meeting people at the grocery store? Or benefit? Does it seem better for shy people? Is it easier just knowing that everyone is there for the same reason? Have any of you who use the dating sites ever tried speed dating and the like before? I'm just curious because a LOT of people I know now are paying for these online dating sites. People who used to question my friendships with my online buddies are even looking for love in cyberspace! I have met people from the internet in person before. Things naturally progressed from online to phone to in person, and these are friendships I've maintained for a number of years. And while I have one friend who met his wife online, they traveled hundreds of miles to see one another during the courting process, and are now married and expecting their second child together, many of the other experiences I've heard of were pretty bad! (People being strung along and such...) So, for those of you who have tried it to make the comparison, what's the benefit?
DunnoWhat Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 You know everybody is there for the same reason. It's a slower pace than meeting somebody in a shop for example. Less pressure. There is the exciting unknown part of it. Some people don't like this part. You can instantly see a persons likes and dislikes etc There isn't the same fear of rejection etc etc Personally I think alot of people online are online because they find it hard to meet people in the "real world". Therefore I find the shy/more reserved girls, girls who don't get out much are better quality then the more outgoing girls because when you think about it, if somebody is very outgoing and meets people out every night of the week, why would that person need to be online to find a date?
Author KinAZ Posted August 3, 2008 Author Posted August 3, 2008 Thanks for the response. Have you ever tried speed dating? I've heard some good things about it in the media, but one of my friends who tried it found it rather awkward. The ones she attended were full of men who were much, much older than herself. I've been thinking that in theory, speed dating would be the better option. Not only do you get to see that person face to face immediately, but having to get to know a lot about a person in a very short period time would help with shyness.
lovestruck818 Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 You know everybody is there for the same reason. It's a slower pace than meeting somebody in a shop for example. Less pressure. There is the exciting unknown part of it. Some people don't like this part. You can instantly see a persons likes and dislikes etc There isn't the same fear of rejection etc etc Personally I think alot of people online are online because they find it hard to meet people in the "real world". Therefore I find the shy/more reserved girls, girls who don't get out much are better quality then the more outgoing girls because when you think about it, if somebody is very outgoing and meets people out every night of the week, why would that person need to be online to find a date? But if someone needs to resort to going online to get a date b/c they cna't get one in person...doesn't that just make them pathetic?
Lookingforward Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 But if someone needs to resort to going online to get a date b/c they cna't get one in person...doesn't that just make them pathetic? Maybe they CAN get dates in person but they're just not happy with the selection ?
lovestruck818 Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 You know everybody is there for the same reason. It's a slower pace than meeting somebody in a shop for example. Less pressure. There is the exciting unknown part of it. Some people don't like this part. You can instantly see a persons likes and dislikes etc There isn't the same fear of rejection etc etc Personally I think alot of people online are online because they find it hard to meet people in the "real world". Therefore I find the shy/more reserved girls, girls who don't get out much are better quality then the more outgoing girls because when you think about it, if somebody is very outgoing and meets people out every night of the week, why would that person need to be online to find a date? but isn't outgoing a better quality? I mean I wouldn't want to date someone who is shy...so yeah shy people need to go online to date...doesn't that make the selection of people who meet people in the "real world" better?
lovestruck818 Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 Maybe they CAN get dates in person but they're just not happy with the selection ? But as DunnoWhat said, the people who date in the "real world" are the more outgoing ones. This is an opnion but for me outgoingess is way more of a better quality than shyness...so if shy people are the ones who need to go online to date, doesn't that make the selction of people in the "real world" better than the ones online?
Author KinAZ Posted August 4, 2008 Author Posted August 4, 2008 Maybe they CAN get dates in person but they're just not happy with the selection ? This is sort of what I was wondering about. Like the higher priced sites, I would think they might have a better selection as more serious people would be the ones paying so much to meet people, and I'm guess they do a better job of helping you find a match. The lower priced sites, I just imagine it to be more of the same in higher volume. As far as my friends are concerned, they're party animals these days compared to me. They go out to the clubs a lot, and they do meet guys when they go. I guess it just seemed to them that they were having no real luck finding anything suitable and wanted to try something different. I'm just wondering how the lower end sites would be much different at all.
DunnoWhat Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 But as DunnoWhat said, the people who date in the "real world" are the more outgoing ones. This is an opnion but for me outgoingess is way more of a better quality than shyness...so if shy people are the ones who need to go online to date, doesn't that make the selction of people in the "real world" better than the ones online? Yes the more outgoing people are more likely to date offline so the more outgoing people online makes you wonder why they are there. Outgoingness is better than shyness in general but thats just 1 quality out of many. In nearly every other quality online you'll find the shy/reserved people are generally better online.
Author KinAZ Posted August 4, 2008 Author Posted August 4, 2008 But as DunnoWhat said, the people who date in the "real world" are the more outgoing ones. This is an opnion but for me outgoingess is way more of a better quality than shyness...so if shy people are the ones who need to go online to date, doesn't that make the selction of people in the "real world" better than the ones online? It might not just be shyness. I think that some people go to sites because they can find people with common interests much easier (at least in theory), but that's why I'm distinguishing between the sites which have low fees and the more expensive ones.
lovestruck818 Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 Yes the more outgoing people are more likely to date offline so the more outgoing people online makes you wonder why they are there. Outgoingness is better than shyness in general but thats just 1 quality out of many. In nearly every other quality online you'll find the shy/reserved people are generally better online. Well that was sort of my pt...I mean if someone outgoing needs to resort to dating online, there has to be something kind of "off" with them...
DunnoWhat Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 Thanks for the response. Have you ever tried speed dating? I've heard some good things about it in the media, but one of my friends who tried it found it rather awkward. The ones she attended were full of men who were much, much older than herself. I've been thinking that in theory, speed dating would be the better option. Not only do you get to see that person face to face immediately, but having to get to know a lot about a person in a very short period time would help with shyness. I've never tried it. It is another option and I wouldn't rule it out. As with everything else it'd have it's good and bad points.
Art_Critic Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 But if someone needs to resort to going online to get a date b/c they cna't get one in person...doesn't that just make them pathetic? Of course not... how ridiculous Online dating is just another way to meet someone.. the dating is still done in the old fashioned way.. With me as I got older I got busier.. I had a home in the mountains that I went to on the weekends. I don't date employees and I don't get out of the office much and my weekends are spent in the mountains as well as I don't the have patience for the bars so if it wasn't for online dating I wouldn't have met anyone.. I don't consider that pathetic in the least bit.. I met a lot of nice women online.. had quite a few relationships ( some lasted more than a year ) and I met my wife online.. Without online dating I wouldn't have met my wife or had my baby boy.. Sure there are ways to do online dating and ways not to and there are mcnasties out there.. but so are there in bars and even in blind dates set up by friends..
lovestruck818 Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 Of course not... how ridiculous Online dating is just another way to meet someone.. the dating is still done in the old fashioned way.. With me as I got older I got busier.. I had a home in the mountains that I went to on the weekends. I don't date employees and I don't get out of the office much and my weekends are spent in the mountains as well as I don't the have patience for the bars so if it wasn't for online dating I wouldn't have met anyone.. I don't consider that pathetic in the least bit.. I met a lot of nice women online.. had quite a few relationships ( some lasted more than a year ) and I met my wife online.. Without online dating I wouldn't have met my wife or had my baby boy.. Sure there are ways to do online dating and ways not to and there are mcnasties out there.. but so are there in bars and even in blind dates set up by friends.. I agree there can be good people online, as I too know people who met their spouses online as well, but I guess my argument is this...if someone is so great and wonderful then they should have no problems meeting people in the outside world. I'm not trying to put myself on a high horse or anything but I meet people all the time...on trains, lines for restaurants, at the post office, library, mall etc. etc. It's not really all that hard
Art_Critic Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 Well that was sort of my pt...I mean if someone outgoing needs to resort to dating online, there has to be something kind of "off" with them... Like what ??... What would be off with a person do do online dating ? If a person mets women thru bars is there something off about them ?.. If a person mets people thru church is there something off about them?.. If a person meets people thru hiking or activities is there something wrong with them ?.. If a person meets someone thru a friend or work or thru a blind date does that mean there is something wrong with them ? If a person walks up to another on the street and asks them out does that mean there is something wrong with them ? No.. Online dating is nothing more than ANOTHER way of meeting someone..
stefspets Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 It's completely ridiculous to assume there's something wrong with someone just because they use the internet to date. I met plenty of people in person to go on dates with, but none of them really were looking for the same things I was. I went online to try to weed out people who didn't want relationships (assuming people are honest) and to get a wider pool of people to meet in the first place, as my commitments at the time weren't the kind where I was meeting anyone new.
Author KinAZ Posted August 4, 2008 Author Posted August 4, 2008 I agree there can be good people online, as I too know people who met their spouses online as well, but I guess my argument is this...if someone is so great and wonderful then they should have no problems meeting people in the outside world. I'm not trying to put myself on a high horse or anything but I meet people all the time...on trains, lines for restaurants, at the post office, library, mall etc. etc. It's not really all that hard I meet people all the time too. LOL... I'm currently hiding from a couple right now. I think that the point or value in theory is that you're able to see who has what in common with you, based on profile information etc. It's not a matter of meeting people for some, but rather meeting someone you would want to be bothered with I imagine. I guess that in my mind at least that what's average out in the world would be average online as well, just with a higher likelihood of someone being a jerk or creep because we tend to be more expressive in type.
Art_Critic Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 I agree there can be good people online, as I too know people who met their spouses online as well, but I guess my argument is this...if someone is so great and wonderful then they should have no problems meeting people in the outside world. I'm not trying to put myself on a high horse or anything but I meet people all the time...on trains, lines for restaurants, at the post office, library, mall etc. etc. It's not really all that hard That is the thing.. I consider myself great and wonderful but I was too busy living life and having responsibilities that I didn't have a chance to meet someone at restaurants or whatever.. It just wasn't remotely even possible.. I was just too busy... My priorities weren't in picking up women at the checkout line in Kroger.. They were to get my groceries and go about my life..
Author KinAZ Posted August 4, 2008 Author Posted August 4, 2008 It's completely ridiculous to assume there's something wrong with someone just because they use the internet to date. I met plenty of people in person to go on dates with, but none of them really were looking for the same things I was. I went online to try to weed out people who didn't want relationships (assuming people are honest) and to get a wider pool of people to meet in the first place, as my commitments at the time weren't the kind where I was meeting anyone new. So, was it any better? That's interesting that you're saying they weren't really looking for the same things, and it seems that common goals would be a benefit to online dating at least in theory. So, would it be correct to say that it's just more of the same thing in larger supply?
lovestruck818 Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 I meet people all the time too. LOL... I'm currently hiding from a couple right now. I think that the point or value in theory is that you're able to see who has what in common with you, based on profile information etc. It's not a matter of meeting people for some, but rather meeting someone you would want to be bothered with I imagine. I guess that in my mind at least that what's average out in the world would be average online as well, just with a higher likelihood of someone being a jerk or creep because we tend to be more expressive in type. I agree common interests are important...but it is so easy to lie online though. I mean how many times on this board have I told you all I am a 26 year old female from NY. I could really be a 62 year old male prostitute from Taiwan, you have no idea who anyone is.
Art_Critic Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 I agree common interests are important...but it is so easy to lie online though. I mean how many times on this board have I told you all I am a 26 year old female from NY. I could really be a 62 year old male prostitute from Taiwan, you have no idea who anyone is. Honestly who you are on this board doesn't mean shiot.. this isn't an online dating forum and nobody here will ever want to meet you and if you want to lie about who you are it says more about you then us Have you met the one yet on all your other methods ?.. I mean you just said you have no problem meeting men around.. why haven't you met the right guy ?
lovestruck818 Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 Honestly who you are on this board doesn't mean shiot.. this isn't an online dating forum and nobody here will ever want to meet you and if you want to lie about who you are it says more about you then us Have you met the one yet on all your other methods ?.. I mean you just said you have no problem meeting men around.. why haven't you met the right guy ? I have...the one I am with now...and I met him at a deli across the street from my old job
Art_Critic Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 I have...the one I am with now...and I met him at a deli across the street from my old job Well.. I met my wife online.. so ?.. tell me when you get married...
Author KinAZ Posted August 4, 2008 Author Posted August 4, 2008 I agree common interests are important...but it is so easy to lie online though. I mean how many times on this board have I told you all I am a 26 year old female from NY. I could really be a 62 year old male prostitute from Taiwan, you have no idea who anyone is. I agree totally, and I know a couple of people who have experienced that as well. And as stefspets pointed out... just because they say they're looking for something (just like when you meet face to face) doesn't mean that they actually are. I think that this stigma associated with it is probably worse than the situation is in real life, however, if I met a nice guy online, especially if he was attractive and educated, my first question (to myself would be) OK, so why is he looking for women online??? Aren't there enough women throwing themselves at him on the street? Is he broken or just socially awkward? Much shorter than he claims to be? When in all actuality he could just be uninterested in the girls who are shoving themselves under his nose. (fyi all of my male friends who aren't particularly tall have LIED about their heights on their Myspace profiles. hahaha) I guess maybe this is why I'm comparing it to speed dating, or at least trying to.
lovestruck818 Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 I agree totally, and I know a couple of people who have experienced that as well. And as stefspets pointed out... just because they say they're looking for something (just like when you meet face to face) doesn't mean that they actually are. I think that this stigma associated with it is probably worse than the situation is in real life, however, if I met a nice guy online, especially if he was attractive and educated, my first question (to myself would be) OK, so why is he looking for women online??? Aren't there enough women throwing themselves at him on the street? Is he broken or just socially awkward? Much shorter than he claims to be? When in all actuality he could just be uninterested in the girls who are shoving themselves under his nose. (fyi all of my male friends who aren't particularly tall have LIED about their heights on their Myspace profiles. hahaha) I guess maybe this is why I'm comparing it to speed dating, or at least trying to. Hah- and that's a whole other thing that gets me. A lot of shorter men seem to be self-conscious about it as if it is a bad thing. Maybe it's just me, but I LOVE short men. They are beautiful and being short is such a great thing, they should embrace it, not hate it. (Maybe I'm a little biased b/c I'm a short women, but honestly, short men are so cute!). Why is everyone hatin' on the shorties?
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