sultry33 Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 sorry im a stupid dumb ass.. i really miss him and i know deep down i shouldnt but i do.. i just sent him message online asking how is he? i was ill tonight whilst at club got home an i really hate being single i so wished for time to go back so i could cuddle up next to him... there has been noone else, i talk to guys but deep down i bloody miss him.. i feel stupid for contacting him but i feel worse not contacting him.. i just want a hug is that so bad?
citizen67 Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 Youre not a stupid dumbass - its just really really hard. I keep breaking NC too - I'll be really good and feel good about it and then I'll be lonely and missing him & break NC and inevitably feel awful
journey1 Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 Youre just in love!! I know the feeling and it sucks. The only thing that is helping me keep NC is thinking of it as my only chance to make him realize my value in his life. I have never ignored before, I was always the one picking up the pieces. You must not do it again, unless he gave you a reply that made you feel good, Is there any chance for you two??? If not,..... get back to NC
SundaeMorning Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 i did the same thing today i was feeling lonely and impulsive and i really needed a hug as well.. so i texted him and said a simple i miss you. he replied but it wasn't an "i miss you too." it was painful, small talk b.s. sigh.
Angel1111 Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 I have never bothered with this concept of NC because I think it's a waste of time. But, although I do fully understand your need and desire for a hug, I wouldn't recommend contacting him like that again. He needs to be the one to contact you, as far as I'm concerned, but I don't know your situation at all so I may be an idiot. I think the truth is, you're going to feel awful no matter what you do. I'm sorry you had such a bad night and are feeling this way. It's an awful place to be. So, did he respond back?
borelandkaren Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 sorry im a stupid dumb ass.. i really miss him and i know deep down i shouldnt but i do.. i just sent him message online asking how is he? i was ill tonight whilst at club got home an i really hate being single i so wished for time to go back so i could cuddle up next to him... there has been noone else, i talk to guys but deep down i bloody miss him.. i feel stupid for contacting him but i feel worse not contacting him.. i just want a hug is that so bad? I understand the hug thing:love: I'd love one that's not from someone I'm related to! You're not a dumbass, darl. You're a beautiful, warm, vulnerable woman who misses her man. I miss Tony, too and the only reason I haven't tried to contact him is that, I no longer know where he is. I'd love to ring him, no matter what anyone says or thinks and I could be really sneaky and get his phone number again, from the company he subs to, the same as I did last time but I know he'll just hang up on me or scream obscenities at me. I can't risk it for my self esteem but it still doesn't mean I don't want to. Hard not to miss those cuddles, though, too. Don't beat yourself up, darl. Only you know how it was to be with him. We can all give you the NC chat but the truth is, we're all different and have different needs. You have to do what you have to do. We're with you, all the way. Take care, darl:)
Nevermind Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 I would give up a lot to have my ex care for me. Yes, care for me. I think he never really did, and this is a hard pill to swallow. I'd contact him in a heartbeat, if there was any chance for this. But there isn't. The last contact was horrible. He yelled at me, and I threw names at him. He will never forgive me, and I cannot forgive him. There is gap wider than the Grand Canyon between us now. And it will never be bridged. I understand why you want to contact him, and the only thing I can say is: if you think it will help you and if you can deal with the results, then go for it. NC is just a tool, not a law.
babes23 Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 I did it yesterday too, definitely not doing it again, that was just a blip and i'm determined this time too.
BackonTrack Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 I broke NC a few weeks ago. About 2 weeks ago. I felt better afterwards, she didn't pick up. My mind stop asking the "WHY" question.
sid3 Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 I agree. there's no need to beat yourself up about it. Sometimes breaking the N/C is actually beneficial in moving on and letting go. There are moments when all we can do is survive however possible. Hopefully today is better for you.
tealeafbud Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 Hi sultry, We have all felt that way about contacting our ex's. However it ended, we still feel close to them somehow. YOu know, they were once an important part of our lives, and there is no logical feeling in heartbreak, so please don't worry about it and just try and move on. I'm currently doing the same, as a lot of us are. All you can do is continue doing what you're doing, keep your chin up, and act AS IF you're stronger than ever. Even though you aren't, it actually helps.
carrie3107 Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 Hi hon. Dont worry about it we all need a hug sometimes
Author sultry33 Posted August 5, 2008 Author Posted August 5, 2008 thanks everyone for the great support.. it really does help, i do find it really hard to not have him in my life and i have done all the coping things.. got busy, changed myself.. routine.. met new friends.. partied.. cried had me time.. shopped.. but sometimes it does not matter how busy you are the memory of them comes in your mind.. like a poster said im just in love.. this is true and some loves do last a lifetime even if you are not actually with that person.. i know no matter what this is how i feel about him.. i never wanted to marry anyone else in all my dating years so that must say something.. well last night i got a reply:love: he has asked for my number again.. as prev we both deleted each others so i dont feel like a dumb ass anymore i know some will say silly.. just setting herelf up for more heart break.. but we never had arguments, didnt cheat.. we just could not be together as we was.. maybe now we can start at base one.. i know it will take time.. maybe years but he means that much that id be willing to wait still needing that hug, but at least im smiling today hugs to all x
carrie3107 Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 Hi hon At the end of the day its your life, and hopefully you can rebuild a friendship and maybe sometime in the near future maybe more. Who know's whats round the corner. Just don't wait for him to text go out and carry on doing what your doing, just have fun... One life live it. x
Terminator Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 i did the same thing today i was feeling lonely and impulsive and i really needed a hug as well.. so i texted him and said a simple i miss you. he replied but it wasn't an "i miss you too." it was painful, small talk b.s. sigh. Been there, done that. This is why I don't think being "in contact as friends" is a good idea after a R ends. It's just not the way it was and yes, the small talk bs, pretending to be okay and not being able to say what you really feel just hurts too much. Better to have no contact and just keep your memories.
mike5770 Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 Thats ok..you're only human. The girl i was in love with works in the next building from me and i run into her once every couple of months. I just can't ignore someone if i knew them and they were once in my life. So I say Hi and she says Hi and then we go our separate ways. It doesn't hurt anymore when i see her, only if i have been drinking as I know the guy she chose she is engaged to and it wasnt some brief fling. I can't just ignore her...but i dont go out of my way to run into her either.
Author sultry33 Posted August 13, 2008 Author Posted August 13, 2008 Thats ok..you're only human. The girl i was in love with works in the next building from me and i run into her once every couple of months. I just can't ignore someone if i knew them and they were once in my life. So I say Hi and she says Hi and then we go our separate ways. It doesn't hurt anymore when i see her, only if i have been drinking as I know the guy she chose she is engaged to and it wasnt some brief fling. I can't just ignore her...but i dont go out of my way to run into her either. thanks mike, still not met up with him but i think he is waiting for the right moment when he is not swamped with work.. i saw him on msn the other night.. part of me felt like saying hi but i just logged back off.. in all the years we was together he never did msn.. i begun to think he is chatting to some hot chick.. but then i thought its his life.. logged off and sent him message in the morning saying sorry did not speak i was busy working.. he said he is going contact me next week as he is swamped with work and stuff.. im busy too atm so im just going leave it to him now.. must be tough running into your ex like that.. at least you are civil to each other though.. i have had break ups in the past where i have left and honestly some was really rude to me.. yes i hurt them.. but a simple hi does not hurt.. i didnt cheat though.. my ex lives 50miles away and my world and his would not cross... prev he told me that if in the future we met again it would be "fate" so who knows.. but i broke nc and yet he still replies.. maybe he does not have faith in fate now? strange
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