muse82 Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 Hello there.. this is an update of this thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t154026/ I wrote her a mail and she responded on my cell. This was the 1st of June. Yesterday i got an email about receiving a message on facebook. The message read: Hey:) How are things going? I hope you are allright and feeling good!! So now she is on facebook.. I really cant get myself to check the message and look at her profile.I know seeing her picture will trigger something in me and i know i will get hurt if it says: in a relationship! I know she havent got so many friends and she didnt add me as a friend. Why does she all of a sudden write me on facebook?! I was very content before with her not being on facebook so i didnt have to look at her picture.But i know i could always block her. On my wall some girls i dated wrote alot of flirty things so could this be her needing some sort of ego boost and perhaps jelaous about it. Me not writing her and showing her that i "moved on" perhaps made her miss the attention that i always would give her. Things have been really difficult for me the past 6 month but know im starting to go out more and last night i actually scored a beautiful girl and it made me realize that just because my ex dosnt want me dosnt mean that im totally useless.There are alot of girls out there checking me out now that i have lost weight and gotten pretty athletic.Girls that are more atractive then my ex and i know now that its her loss and not mine. Its just everytime i seem to get better its as though she "knows" in some way and then writes me. Its pretty weird. I dont know if im looking for some magical answer but maybe some of you out there have been through the same thing. Thank you for listening to me ramble:)
BackonTrack Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 Hello, It looks like your ex is trying to make contact with you, for whatever reason I am not sure. Based on your post, it doesn't appear you are over the breakup as of yet. I would ignore the girl for now and contact her in a few more months once your fully healed. Thats just my two cents. I'm on about 5 months NC, I called the girl on day 25 and on day 130 She didn't pick up. But eitherway once I called the girl & she didn't pick up, it kind of helped me moved on as it really reinforced that things were over between us. I check her facebook once in a while, but I am pass the point where seeing her with another man would phase me as I have no more feelings left towards her, you on the other hand, appears you are not yet over the breakup. I would continue the NC if I were you, simply because when I was in your state, any contact would give me false hope and set me back to square 1. But it looks like your ex is reaching out, just give her a CALL via phone if you would like to talk to her & if your break-up wasn't so bad & you still care about her but DON'T want to be with her. It looks like you still want to be with her, give yourself a few more months though to get over things though, maybe then you guys can be friends.
Author muse82 Posted August 2, 2008 Author Posted August 2, 2008 Hello, It looks like your ex is trying to make contact with you, for whatever reason I am not sure. Based on your post, it doesn't appear you are over the breakup as of yet. I would ignore the girl for now and contact her in a few more months once your fully healed. Thats just my two cents. I'm on about 5 months NC, I called the girl on day 25 and on day 130 She didn't pick up. But eitherway once I called the girl & she didn't pick up, it kind of helped me moved on as it really reinforced that things were over between us. I check her facebook once in a while, but I am pass the point where seeing her with another man would phase me as I have no more feelings left towards her, you on the other hand, appears you are not yet over the breakup. I would continue the NC if I were you, simply because when I was in your state, any contact would give me false hope and set me back to square 1. But it looks like your ex is reaching out, just give her a CALL via phone if you would like to talk to her & if your break-up wasn't so bad & you still care about her but DON'T want to be with her. It looks like you still want to be with her, give yourself a few more months though to get over things though, maybe then you guys can be friends. I think i will ignore her for now and maybe reply in a month or so. I just dont know what to think. Could it be that she just want me to know that she is seeing someone. Pretty torn about this. Our break up wasnt bad at all it was actually a good one if theres such a thing. She just never used to contact me on her initiative, i would always be the one to write, but this time she did. A thousand thanks for you advice and your willingness to read my post:)
Author muse82 Posted August 3, 2008 Author Posted August 3, 2008 hard not replying! Why would she reach out..and what does 2 punctuation(!!) signs after"i hope your feeling good" mean?
CaliGuy Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 hard not replying! Why would she reach out..and what does 2 punctuation(!!) signs after"i hope your feeling good" mean? Nothing!! It means she's fishing, hoping you take the bait. But she's a catch and release type. She doesn't want to keep the catch, she just wants to feed her ago and nothing more. Ignoring her is the BEST option.
Author muse82 Posted August 4, 2008 Author Posted August 4, 2008 Nothing!! It means she's fishing, hoping you take the bait. But she's a catch and release type. She doesn't want to keep the catch, she just wants to feed her ago and nothing more. Ignoring her is the BEST option. Yeah Cali right now im ignoring her. Its just weird being on facebook when she is on there. She didnt add me as a friend. This other dating/friends site she was on and i am to i stopped logging on to because i didnt want to se her picture circulating on the frontpage. Now she is on facebook and i dont want to go there anymore. I am kind of upset that she has this impact on me. The other times she has written me i would always reply quickly but this time i am just angry. I kinda think she i jelaous because other girls have written flirty stuff on my wall and she wants to see if she still can get a reaction from me. The weirdest thing is that i get alot of compliments and girls flirt with me, girls that a far more atractive than my ex but 3 lines from her and i doubt myself being good enough.She has this grip on my balls and can take away my confidence in a second. Thanks Cali for replying, i always appreciate your answers.
CaliGuy Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 You're welcome. Don't stop going to facebook if you want to go there. Just don't go to her page and don't respond to her at all. Let the girls write all the flirty stuff on your page that you want. That'll really drive the ex nuts
Author muse82 Posted August 4, 2008 Author Posted August 4, 2008 By the way the day she wrote me was acutally the day we met 3 years ago. We could have had 3 year anniversary. That strikes me as odd. I wouldnt think she has a BF because i dont think you would write you ex. I would be rather annoyed if my new GF wrote to an ex she hasnt talked to in a while
CaliGuy Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 Meh, my ex stalked me for years on my web site whilst living with her fiance. It doesn't mean anything other than they are thinking about you and want to know what's up in your life. It doesn't signal they want to rekindle anything unless they're flat out fishing for information by writing you often and asking questions. When I confronted my ex about all her visits to the site, she played it off like she was bored and was simply keeping herself entertained. Now's she blocked from the web site, so she'll have to find her entertainment somewhere else
Author muse82 Posted August 4, 2008 Author Posted August 4, 2008 Meh, my ex stalked me for years on my web site whilst living with her fiance. It doesn't mean anything other than they are thinking about you and want to know what's up in your life. It doesn't signal they want to rekindle anything unless they're flat out fishing for information by writing you often and asking questions. When I confronted my ex about all her visits to the site, she played it off like she was bored and was simply keeping herself entertained. Now's she blocked from the web site, so she'll have to find her entertainment somewhere else She really did that? Weird form of entertainment i must say! But okay the thought of her thinking about me and wanting to know how i am kinda puts my mind little at ease.Its always nice to be remembered. And i didn't even initiate the contact this time. I like the idea of her being jealous about the flirty stuff. Its the funniest thing, when you ignore your ex or seem to be moved on or perhaps someone else has interest in you, then they write you hoping that they still have the bait for me to bite like you said. I have been ignored,blocked and sent countless messages without reply in the past and now it is my turn to ignore her and block her. See how that feels! She is also that kind of a person that whenever things get hard or things dont turn out that good she seeks security and comfort and perhaps familiarity and that is what i stand for. Because i was always there for her after the breakup when she had problems or wasn't feeling good.Then she decided she wanted to meet up with me only to tell me that she wasn't feeling well and perhaps was going to be unstable the following months but we would meet up when she felt better. fast forward 3 months and she has moved on and i am still in waiting position.It sucks that people you trusted with your heart dont have the respect to tell you that things arent going to work out. Well every man for himself i guess. I just hope that i can someday find love and fall in love with someone who loves me to. Again thousand thanks cali for taking your time to help me out:)
CaliGuy Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 She really did that? Weird form of entertainment i must say! But okay the thought of her thinking about me and wanting to know how i am kinda puts my mind little at ease.Its always nice to be remembered. And i didn't even initiate the contact this time. I like the idea of her being jealous about the flirty stuff. Its the funniest thing, when you ignore your ex or seem to be moved on or perhaps someone else has interest in you, then they write you hoping that they still have the bait for me to bite like you said. I have been ignored,blocked and sent countless messages without reply in the past and now it is my turn to ignore her and block her. See how that feels! She is also that kind of a person that whenever things get hard or things dont turn out that good she seeks security and comfort and perhaps familiarity and that is what i stand for. Because i was always there for her after the breakup when she had problems or wasn't feeling good.Then she decided she wanted to meet up with me only to tell me that she wasn't feeling well and perhaps was going to be unstable the following months but we would meet up when she felt better. fast forward 3 months and she has moved on and i am still in waiting position.It sucks that people you trusted with your heart dont have the respect to tell you that things arent going to work out. Well every man for himself i guess. I just hope that i can someday find love and fall in love with someone who loves me to. Again thousand thanks cali for taking your time to help me out:) The sooner you let your ex go and focus on the present and future, the sooner you WILL meet an excellent woman that will make you wonder "what did I ever see in my ex in the first place?!" Mark it down now. You heard it here first. Keep ignoring the ex. You and me both, we should not give a damn what our exs think about us or even if they are thinking about us. All it does it delay the entrance of Ms. Right.
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