sapphire105 Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 I have been together with my partner for 5 years and we have owned a home together for 2. After an unexpected pregnancy almost 5 years ago that resulted in a miscarraige in the late stages of the pregnancy the desire for me to have a child has become extrememly high. I have not wanted a child previously as I wanted our relationship to develop and I wanted us to travel. Now that I have done the things that i wanted to do before I had a family and our relationship is stable and loving I feel that we are ready to start a family. My partner and i had discussed having a family at this point over the last year or so but he has recently decided he no longer wishes to start a family now due to concerns over finances. We are both graduates with good jobs. We do have a high mortgage and as it is for everyone when they start a family money will be a bit tight. He has instead said that he wishes to wait 4-5 years before trying. Im not suggesting that his decision is going to cause me to leave or any other silly reaction, I am happy to wait till we are both ready, Im just concerned that there may be more important reasoning for his change of heart. I just dont believe that this is his real reasons for not wanting a family now, as we had planned long in advance and are financially stable. But this is the only reasoning he has offered.
porter218 Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 I have been together with my partner for 5 years and we have owned a home together for 2. After an unexpected pregnancy almost 5 years ago that resulted in a miscarraige in the late stages of the pregnancy the desire for me to have a child has become extrememly high. I have not wanted a child previously as I wanted our relationship to develop and I wanted us to travel. Now that I have done the things that i wanted to do before I had a family and our relationship is stable and loving I feel that we are ready to start a family. My partner and i had discussed having a family at this point over the last year or so but he has recently decided he no longer wishes to start a family now due to concerns over finances. We are both graduates with good jobs. We do have a high mortgage and as it is for everyone when they start a family money will be a bit tight. He has instead said that he wishes to wait 4-5 years before trying. Im not suggesting that his decision is going to cause me to leave or any other silly reaction, I am happy to wait till we are both ready, Im just concerned that there may be more important reasoning for his change of heart. I just dont believe that this is his real reasons for not wanting a family now, as we had planned long in advance and are financially stable. But this is the only reasoning he has offered. Almost every man is scared about finances when starting a family. It is a huge commitment. He will get over it, especially if he has already stated his desire to have kids. Maybe you can talk with him a little more about how you are going to afford this. He may be worried that he will become the sole provider so you can stay at home with the baby. Ask him how much money does he expect to be making in order to feel comfortable having a baby.
Mary3 Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 " I don't want kids " usually means " I don't want kids " Now if he said I don't want kids right now , thats different. My best friends boyfriend said he did not want kids at all. She moved out and has her own place.
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