Tony T Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 Big girls need love, too. Why are you denying them the chance at true happiness? Big people, not just girls, are often denying their own chance at true happiness. I think being overweight sometimes may be a person's way of keeping distance and avoiding intimacy and it works well. It can be a vicious cycle, the more someone gains weight, the fewer people who are attracted. The fewer people who are attracted, the more the person gains weight because they are depressed. Very often, good food becomes a substitute for love. Like sex, it's an instant high and you don't have to seduce it....food seduces the person.
Ruby Slippers Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 I think it's WAY better to know your preference and stick to your bottom line than to settle and make a half-hearted effort because you're not really into her. We all have a bottom line -- some place more importance on appearance, some on intrinisic qualities, some on both. I think knowing what you want and not settling for less than you want is critical.
Angel1111 Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 To be completely honest, women do have a way of taking photos at certain angles that misrepresent what they really look like. I think that's incredibly dumb because it's kind of like a woman stuffing her bra - the jig is going to be up sooner or later. I'd rather that a guy be pleasantly surprised rather than being highly disappointed.
porter218 Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 To be completely honest, women do have a way of taking photos at certain angles that misrepresent what they really look like. LOL. So true. Beware of a picture taken from above pointed down at an angle. Lots of women take a picture at this angle because 150lbs can look like 120lbs.
Trialbyfire Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 As long as weight isn't your only criteria, you have your preferences. I would hope your criteria includes something from within, instead of solely superficial looks. If not, then yes, you are shallow.
Author jadedone Posted August 3, 2008 Author Posted August 3, 2008 I am 5'1" 95lbs,. I think I'm in lust.
KinAZ Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 You probably just hurt her feelings. We all have preferences, and we all have comfort levels as well. I know some men who prefer women who are large than themselves (in height, weight, or both), and I know some who would much rather a woman who is much smaller than himself. Likewise, I know heavier women who like skinny men, and thin women who like chubby men. It goes in all directions. Is it shallow? To some it is, but I don't think there's anything totally abnormal or unjust about it.
Myst Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 I was called a shallow ---hole, and a jerk. I'm honestly not that picky about looks, but the one thing I do care about is weight. I am not attracted to women that weigh more than I do. I'm not a big guy 5'7" 140 lbs. So I prefer women that are petite. There is some leeway depending on build/frame. I pointed out her hyporcrisy since she has listed that guys need to be at least 5'6", but I'm apparently the shallow one. It is shallow, but then again EVERYONE has at least 1 shallow preference for the ppl they wanna date. Cmon people, just admit it! I will never ever date a smoker (or someone stupid), it doesnt matter if theyre a saint, drop dead good looking and are nice to me. I dont wanna date someone who stinks. Fine call me shallow. Plus will never date a guy who's shorter than me.
yongyong Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 when I posted something like this, I got flamed BTW my car is lowered and it has a sticker that says 'no fat chicks, car will rub'
DunnoWhat Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 I was called a shallow ---hole, and a jerk. I'm honestly not that picky about looks, but the one thing I do care about is weight. I am not attracted to women that weigh more than I do. I'm not a big guy 5'7" 140 lbs. So I prefer women that are petite. There is some leeway depending on build/frame. I pointed out her hyporcrisy since she has listed that guys need to be at least 5'6", but I'm apparently the shallow one. You can't help what height you are but you can help what weight you are so it's prefectly ok for you to not want fat women. They can always lose the weight.
Walk Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 I knew this guy who was about 140lbs and he Swore he would never date a woman who weighed more then him. At the time, a woman who worked for me starting dating an acquiantence of mine. She had a great personality. Fun, open, always relaxed and took things in stride. Pretty with a great personality. Lost contact with them for a while, and then met up with them a few years later. They'd gotten married. The woman was sick looking. She told me her H put so much emphasis on how much someone weighed that it really did a number on her. She wouldn't eat, woulldn't drink anything but water, when we went out. She told me she had a really hard time keeping her weight below that 140 mark the older she got. She started crying because she believed her H would stop loving her if she gained enough to put her over the 140 mark.
stillafool Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 Women will judge you on your height, income, education, etc etc. But men judge women on the exact same things and want her to be beautiful.
vonerik012 Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 But men judge women on the exact same things and want her to be beautiful. Not nearly to the same extent. When have you heard of men saying a woman must at least be five foot 7? Must be a high earner? Must have a certain education? Even the wealthiest men in the world marry waitresses. Men rely more so on how you treat them, than on what you can materially provide for them.
fral945 Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 But men judge women on the exact same things and want her to be beautiful. You have to be kidding. Where are these men? If they exist, they are 1% or less of the male population. I have never met or ever known a man that had to have a woman meet all of those requirements. For me, education, possibly to some extent, but that's because I'm a picky male. The others I don't care about at all.
carhill Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 A woman with a good heart is gold in my book. Everything else is optional
reservoirdog1 Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 Yes, you're shallow. But so is everybody else. EVERYBODY has certain physical criteria they look for or prefer in a partner. Even those who claim they don't, will gravitate towards people who meet their requirements. Anybody who says that physical appearance doesn't factor AT ALL into their decisions about who they date, sleep with or enter a relationship with, is lying. And no, this doesn't mean that only those who have achieved some "baseline level" of physical attractiveness are going to successfully find life partners or sex partners. What does "attractive" mean, anyway? It's completely subjective.
Angel1111 Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 Not nearly to the same extent. When have you heard of men saying a woman must at least be five foot 7? Must be a high earner? Must have a certain education? Even the wealthiest men in the world marry waitresses. Men rely more so on how you treat them, than on what you can materially provide for them. And women are only concerned about marrying rich men and don't care what kind of a jerk he might be. Right. You know, it wasn't until I started reading on this site that I realized just how dumb so many men are about women. How does that happen? So many of you draw such ignorant conclusions and end up missing everything. Yes, there are golddiggers out there. Get over it. It's simple - don't date these women. But do you honestly think that women are flawed because they seek security, and that men are blameless in their expectations of women? Maybe men do marry waittresses but you're kidding yourself if you think their only requirement is that they're treated well. That's downright laughable. Women are geared BY NATURE to seek out security in a partner. It's in our genes, it's instinctive. When I wanted to stay home with my son for the first year of his life, I had to take $5,000 out of my 401k in order to do that because I couldn't depend on my husband. Did I leave him because of that? No, I left him because he treated me like crap. But based on what most men here seem to think, my ex must be noble because he doesn't require any more of a woman than that she treat him well. And you guys think women are delusional.
Shygirl15 Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 I was called a shallow ---hole, and a jerk. I'm honestly not that picky about looks, but the one thing I do care about is weight. I am not attracted to women that weigh more than I do. I'm not a big guy 5'7" 140 lbs. So I prefer women that are petite. There is some leeway depending on build/frame. I pointed out her hyporcrisy since she has listed that guys need to be at least 5'6", but I'm apparently the shallow one. Yes you're shallow. And so am I. Thin and/or shorter men (below 6'0") better keep away from me. Need a big guy to make me feel secure..
HokeyReligions Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 I was called a shallow ---hole, and a jerk. I'm honestly not that picky about looks, but the one thing I do care about is weight. I am not attracted to women that weigh more than I do. I'm not a big guy 5'7" 140 lbs. So I prefer women that are petite. There is some leeway depending on build/frame. I pointed out her hyporcrisy since she has listed that guys need to be at least 5'6", but I'm apparently the shallow one. I'm not attracted to black men. Does that make me racist? No. Its a matter of taste and attraction. I would not meet your tastes as I am the same height as you and weigh a bit more. Are my feelings hurt? No because its silly and sophmoric to think that there is something wrong with you for not being attracted to me. If someone thinks you are a shallow a$$ let them think it - they are allowed their own opinion and you are allowed to have nothing to do with such immaturity. Now, if you go around making fun of and disrespcting people who don't fit your ideal then I'd think you a jerk -- and worse!
carhill Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 Some modern women appear to equate security and stability with money; as currency is a relatively recent evolutionary construct, evolving from asset/territorial-based constructs of history, it is interesting how genetics have adapted Myself, I seek women who have evolved beyond their genetics to embrace a wider range of definitions of what security and stability embrace, just as I have evolved to embrace women for assets beyond their appearance. On-topic..... When my wife was treating me well, I accepted and embraced her weight as part of who she is and having little relevance to how I felt about her. Now that she doesn't treat me so well, I find none of that has changed. Her weight (pretty much still the same, and, yes, she is overweight, by LS measures, significantly) continues to have no bearing upon how I feel about her. This means, if I care for her less, it has nothing to do with her weight. It's an interesting dynamic which I would not have understood if not having experienced it. I accept her as she is, but do not have to embrace or accept the way she treats me. This is a distinction I learned in MC. Personally, I find polarized "hating" of men's or women's perspectives to be counterproductive and emotionally draining. I see no significant advantages to this mindset. I accept that women might not find me attractive, including basing it on my socio-monetary status, no matter how/what I might feel or think about their perspective. Are they "shallow"? It's not my place to judge. Are they incompatible? Definitely. More power to them
johan Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 I'm not attracted to black men. Does that make me racist? I'm not either. Does that make me a racist homophobe??!
Jilly Bean Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 I'm not either. Does that make me a racist homophobe??! No, just a Republican.
Jilly Bean Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 Oh no! It's worse than I thought! You know I only sleep with Republicans, right? OP - I wouldn't be attracted to a very obsese guy. Some men may not find my massive boobs attractive, I mean, we all have our likes and dislikes, right? Doesn't make you shallow, just HONEST.
johan Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 You know I only sleep with Republicans, right? What about guys who don't want to sleep?
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