jadedone Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 I was called a shallow ---hole, and a jerk. I'm honestly not that picky about looks, but the one thing I do care about is weight. I am not attracted to women that weigh more than I do. I'm not a big guy 5'7" 140 lbs. So I prefer women that are petite. There is some leeway depending on build/frame. I pointed out her hyporcrisy since she has listed that guys need to be at least 5'6", but I'm apparently the shallow one.
Tony T Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 You really can't help what you're attracted to. Fat is not pretty and overweight is not attractive to most people. Fat people would like to feel that they are attractive to others but fact is most of them are not. Many people get divorced because one or the other marriage partner puts on an inordinate amount of weight and won't take care to take it off. You personal tastes on weight are not out of line, they're just your own personal tastes and requirements.
Ronni_W Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 I'm not a big guy 5'7" 140 lbs. So I prefer women that are petite. As already said, we are each gifted with Free Will to like what we like, and dislike what we dislike. If others want to label us "shallow" because of our preferences and tastes, that is their business. So...you do NOT need to explain to anybody WHY you prefer petite women. You really don't need an excuse. It is just what your sense organs prefer. If you were 6'3 and 200 pounds, you would STILL have the right and option to prefer petite women!
O'Malley Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 It's not an issue, as long as you're just as accepting of the fact that some women will disqualify you based on their own physical criteria.
carhill Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 OP, two things.... It's perfectly normal to have physical preferences for dating/mating. Never get into a pissing contest with a woman you even remotely think you want to bone. You'll lose
Cheshire Cat Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 Having a preference for not overweight women does not make a guy shallow, but expressing such a preference in an insensitive way may result in someone calling him a jerk. (I am not saying this is your case , I guess she would have lashed at you no matter what reason you gave her for rejecting her. Sometimes it is better to give less explanations as possible.)
yongyong Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 Shallow? that's totally B.S Everybody judges people by their looks. I prefer woman under size 6 (never dated over 4 yet though ) She should have some requirement for guys and if you don't fit in that category then you are out too. to be honest with you, with 5' 7" , a lot of woman just will ignore you. are you gonna tell each of them, 'you are so shallow?' anyway you can change weight by working out. (not like breast size things like that) so if you want to complain (assuming you are overweight) other than working out keep complaining, world won't change
vonerik012 Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 I would never date a large woman either. However, as another poster said the weight can be tricky, as some women are more solid.
fral945 Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 No, you're not. Plus weight is something that can be controlled (with a handful of exceptions). I see that as better than women who disqualifiy men based on height (which is something that is out of a man's control). But that's another argument for another time. For long term relationship material, I expect a women to be fit and a healthy weight, along with having a lifestyle (eating right, exercising, etc.) that is conducive to maintaining a healthy weight over the long haul. I don't have a particular number, but I'm 5'9" 170 lbs., and if they weight more than me they probably aren't fit or healthy (unless they are over 6' tall, in which case they wouldn't date me because I'm too short ). This eliminates a lot of women for me, but it's a personal preference. Stick to your guns.
Walk Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 I think its good to have standards and criteria for what you would like in your life. However, I think its detrimental if those standards are based on outward appearances. You eliminate potentially great people who could benefit your life by adhering to a sterotype of appearance. That's just my opinion though. Some people could interpret your criteria as a sign of your own insecurity in your appearance. That you would like a woman who's less weight then you and shorter, so that you won't appear so small. It could also show that your more concerned with how people will view you then you are with the quality of women you date.. which could be interpreted to mean you have self-esteem issues. That you need validation from others in order to feel better about yourself. Personally, I think you're better off never mentioning a specific weight criteria. If asked, just tell people that you prefer petite women who have lower body fat percentages. It doesn't eliminate great women who take care of themselves yet are 5lbs heavier then 140lbs. It focuses more on a health issue (body fat) then on a body type, which removes some of the negativity from your criteria. It focuses on issues a woman can control (percentage of body fat), and removes sterotypes of bullemic/anorexic models who are under 140lbs yet NOT healthy. Anyway... you keep telling women they have to be under 140lbs and you're probably going to get slapped by a few. Find a better way to present your ideas that aren't alienating based on a specific weight. Express it in terms of their health, their level of exercise, their fitness level, their body fat percentage. Weight issues are sensitive topics to women. That's a little like telling a guy he has a small penis. You just don't do it unless you're sure you can handle the backlash that's going to result from it.
vonerik012 Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 Women will judge you on your height, income, education, etc etc. I think it is very lazy of a woman to be overweight, and still judge men on the above criteria. It sure is a lot easier to meet a weight requirement, than all of the requirements women set on men.
Author jadedone Posted August 2, 2008 Author Posted August 2, 2008 I'm fully aware that different builds can make a 145 woman actually be fit and very attractive, and that's no problem. I don't actually mention numbers, I just say I"m looking for someone fit. It doesn't help when an overweight woman lists her body type as "average". While the average american may be overweight, the dating sites also have "a few extra pounds" and "BBW" as choices.
imbewildered Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 I was called a shallow ---hole, and a jerk. I'm honestly not that picky about looks, but the one thing I do care about is weight. I am not attracted to women that weigh more than I do. I'm not a big guy 5'7" 140 lbs. So I prefer women that are petite. There is some leeway depending on build/frame. I pointed out her hyporcrisy since she has listed that guys need to be at least 5'6", but I'm apparently the shallow one. Calling women on their hypocrisy is like calling a duck on its quacking -damn pointless. YOu are perfectly entitled to specify your desired weight in your women. Women frequently use shaming tactics to try to control men. Calling you shallow is a prime example. Just ignore her and hope that she goes away.
vonerik012 Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 Its a double standard.. Obese women are called BBW or Big beautiful Women. lol You, being a man, are not supposed to care about looks. Then you will be shallow! However, women are entitled to care about your height, your status, your eduction, your income, as that is just being smart and making a good choice!
imbewildered Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 Its a double standard.. Obese women are called BBW or Big beautiful Women. lol You, being a man, are not supposed to care about looks. Then you will be shallow! However, women are entitled to care about your height, your status, your eduction, your income, as that is just being smart and making a good choice! Don't take their comments so seriously, dude. Women do not decide how the world works, we do. You know that. Just make your own rules and have a chuckle at all the nonsense coming from over the fence.
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 I'm just going to quote Tony T, because he already said it really well: "You really can't help what you're attracted to. Fat is not pretty and overweight is not attractive to most people. Fat people would like to feel that they are attractive to others but fact is most of them are not." Calling women on their hypocrisy is like calling a duck on its quacking -damn pointless. Oh wow, Jilly was right--you really ARE woods321! There's no way two real people could actually be that incredibly bitter.
lovestruck818 Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 You can't relaly go by weight alone, though...really it's about how they look & carry their weifght. I am 5'1" 95lbs, you'd probbaly think think I look anorexic and freaky-looking. On the contrary I don't look that way at all.
johan Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 Big girls need love, too. Why are you denying them the chance at true happiness?
Angel1111 Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 Your preference is your right, and not only that - it's very reasonable. It's got nothing to do with shallow. The only reason this whole issue about weight is such a hot topic is because of all the crap food we eat that's shot up with chemicals that our bodies don't know what on earth to do with and the result is more overweight people in the world than ever before. So because it's now so common, people want everyone else to ignore it. Being overweight is not a natural state for the body. Nor is it a natural thing for anyone to want to look at.
fral945 Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 I'm fully aware that different builds can make a 145 woman actually be fit and very attractive, and that's no problem. I don't actually mention numbers, I just say I"m looking for someone fit. It doesn't help when an overweight woman lists her body type as "average". While the average american may be overweight, the dating sites also have "a few extra pounds" and "BBW" as choices. Unfortunately, that's the way the world is. She is actually being honest when she says that. Fat is normal. So when, a woman says average, she is probably fat, because fat is "average" nowadays. A few extra pounds and BBW are usually very overweight or obese. The standards have changed. I was actually reading an article on women's clothing one day (I was at the doctor and there was nothing else to read ). Because women (and people in general) are getting fatter, the standards for clothing have adjusted to where a woman who wore a size 10 twenty years ago and is the same size now would have to wear a 6 or 8. Being male, I don't regularly purchase women's clothes, but I'm sure some women on this board could verify this if it's true. The article said that high end companies (I guess the kind that makes clothes for models) haven't done it, but the lower end companies have, probably to get women to buy their clothing because they could wear it in a smaller size. Another funny thing in the article was that a size 10 could vary in waist circumference by as much as 4" depending on the company it was purchased from. Can you imagine buying a pair of waist size 32" jeans and having them be anywhere from 30" to 34" around? I never knew there was that much to clothing. Quite an education in women's clothing for me.
lovestruck818 Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 True, but a woman that tall wouldn't date him. He's too short. His requirements are reasonable for women shorter than him. Short men are so hot!
vonerik012 Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 I think all men know what a nice body looks like. If you meet in person there is no reason to ask. Much of it does depend on a womans genes, and where the weight is distributed. Maybe he is referring to blind dates, or meeting women online, in which you have no idea of what they weigh, so you ask.
fral945 Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 Short men are so hot! That's because you're only 5'1"!
vonerik012 Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 To be completely honest, women do have a way of taking photos at certain angles that misrepresent what they really look like.
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