alturrnababe Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 Hello to everyone.My father in law has recently told us that he has tuberculosis, and has started meds today.The problem is, my mother in law...she was going to come over today and I felt apprehensive- I really don't want to expose the kids to this, and my Dad has just gotten out of the hospital after being on a ventilator for asthma complications.My husband told her not to come over- and she got rather annoyed- so when the tb nurse came to her house today(father in law is quarantined to their home) she called and put the nurse on the phone to me! The nurse told me that my mil would be tested on Tuesday to see if she had been exposed and carrying the infection- and that I could chance her seeing the kids.Am I wrong to still wait until Tuesday until she gets tested to allow contact with us? She called again tonight and is 'insisting' on coming to get us to go out for lunch tomorrow.How do I tell her that I would like to wait without her getting mad again?
Ronni_W Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 Not "wrong" or "right" -- prudent and concerned for the health of your other family members. Good on you for speaking out for what you realize is best for most involved, and for standing up for the health of those in your household who can't. Not "right" or "wrong" -- doing what you feel is best. EDIT TO ADD: On the other hand, your MiL is likely feeling a bit lost, lonely and stressed. Let her know that you are sorry about the whole situation but hope she can also understand your side. (If she does get mad, allow her to do that, put it down to stress, and just forgive one and all. These are unfortunate, emotionally-charged circumstances out of anyone's control.)
Author alturrnababe Posted August 2, 2008 Author Posted August 2, 2008 That reply was awesome, Ronni- you made me feel ALOT better...I did tell her that it had nothing whatsoever to do with our "personal" relationship- and I told her this morning when she called that the bottom line is- I am concerned about my kids and my Dad who, as I mentioned above- has a very lowered immune system since being so sick in the hospital a little while back. I am very worried about my father in law (and mil if she has it ) but I just couldn't take the chance of my kids being exposed. Thank you for making me feel like I made the right choice to not see her.
whichwayisup Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 She isn't thinking of the whole picture here and has taken it personally. You have every right to be concerned and protective of your kids, let alone yourself. I've always been brought up "better to be safe, than sorry.." I mean, imagine how horrible it would be if she tested positive after seeing you all. I feel for you! I lived through SARS in my City and I tell ya, since then it isn't insulting at all to stay away from someone who has a cold and is coughing and sneezing. If I knew someone who had TB and the other person was going to be tested, I would not be taking ANY chances to be around anyone PERIOD! In your situation, TB is serious and you've made the right choice by not allowing her near the kids. If anything, she should be housebound too until she gets her results.. Just in case..
Author alturrnababe Posted August 4, 2008 Author Posted August 4, 2008 Thanks Which Way!!! I do feel better now..but she keeps calling and pressuring me to let her come over..sounds crazy...but I do think it has come down to a power struggle and it's not about seeing the kids at all..she just wants her own way! She has never bugged me to see the kids like this before! She keeps saying "but I'm fine" ....I called the health clinic and the nurse there told me that tb patients are often on medication and treatment for nine months and these drugs take two weeks to get into a patients system....so, he is still VERY contagious at this point.I just think that she should accept 'no'...I mean she's going to get tested tomorrow...but he will still be contagious until the meds have taken effect so...I really think she should look into vaccination,maybe?
whichwayisup Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 She doesn't know if she's fine or not. She may feel fine, and show no symptoms, that's why she THINKS she's fine. Chances are slim that she has it, but better to be safe than sorry. Don't argue with her. Tell her similar to what I've mentioned, and just leave it at that. Tell her you're sorry and you feel bad, but for the sake of the kids health it is best she stays away until she knows the results.
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