LionLover Posted August 20, 2008 Posted August 20, 2008 are we playing wordgames now? No, YOU are. Maybe one day you'll decide not too.
Author likestolaugh Posted August 20, 2008 Author Posted August 20, 2008 What's gotten into you anyway? moody much...
LionLover Posted August 20, 2008 Posted August 20, 2008 What's gotten into you anyway? moody much... [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]Not moody, just worn out by someone’s shields. [/FONT][/COLOR]
Author likestolaugh Posted August 20, 2008 Author Posted August 20, 2008 If you're referring to your own situation, you definitely have my sympathy. Shields are never fun... I've been on both ends...
LionLover Posted August 20, 2008 Posted August 20, 2008 Shields are never fun... I've been on both ends... Me too. How do two people go about removing them?
Author likestolaugh Posted August 20, 2008 Author Posted August 20, 2008 Me too. How do two people go about removing them? I only know how to get rid of my own (as I've been sort of describing int his thread). I've no idea how to get through other people's as it seems that sometimes those with shields have them for a reason from the past... and you can't get through to that reason because of the shield. Quite annoying. In my case, time gets rid of my shield. Time and comfort (which go hand in hand). It was partly my shield that put me in my current predicament.
LionLover Posted August 20, 2008 Posted August 20, 2008 I only know how to get rid of my own (as I've been sort of describing int his thread). I've no idea how to get through other people's as it seems that sometimes those with shields have them for a reason from the past... and you can't get through to that reason because of the shield. Quite annoying. In my case, time gets rid of my shield. Time and comfort (which go hand in hand). Time and comfort, agreed. Well I know my shield can come down because I want it too & I am open to letting the right guy in. I know he wants more time & comfort too so that's why I've been on here. It was partly my shield that put me in my current predicament. Me too.
Author likestolaugh Posted August 20, 2008 Author Posted August 20, 2008 Hopefully not too much time, of course. But I suppose it's worth it in the end.... anyway, I know I won't really have anything new to add to this thread until maybe Monday or Tuesday next week (as that's likely when I'll be seeing her again)... but I'll continue to check it anyway. where's your thread again?
LionLover Posted August 20, 2008 Posted August 20, 2008 No not too much time either... It's been tough not being with him but time/comfort was a good idea. A good idea for themselves as individuals, but for them to be TOGETHER and a better/solid "together". Anywho, that sounds good..I should be checking in from time to time this week too. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t159475/
Author likestolaugh Posted August 29, 2008 Author Posted August 29, 2008 just an update for LL...well I went over to her place for a while this evening.... (she had offered some food she couldn't eat... she'd a vegan). We talked about whatever for a few hours... we're quite good at that. She wanted to watch some X-Files stuff, so I left her to that, but when I was there it didn't seem like our vibe was really any different (despite not having seen her for about 3 weeks). Obviously there was no physical stuff or anything though. That was the only difference... we hugged at the end (as friends, of course). I've been doing my best to tell myself that I don't need or really want her. She's got a lot of pictures that are certainly NOT flattering on facebook (she's just not very photogenic)... and I know... it sounds terrible... but looking at those has helped me in that respect. I don't know how she feels about me anymore than I did before... but I'm trying not to care. I know that I can definitely be her friend anyway (and nothing more if need be). I may or may not see her tomorrow night... but I will for sure again next week at any rate. I know many people are of the opinion that I should just cut contact, but I don't really give a damn. I need to see her in order to figure out exactly what I want... I just wish I could see more of her, so that I can figure it out sooner.
LionLover Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 Well, allow me to speak on behalf of this girl from your post: I cannot read your mind, I don’t know what else it is you want or what else I am supposed to say/do. I can’t keep going around in circles with you & I can’t waste any more time trying to “figure” it out. I’ve tried to communicate how I feel/what I want, but with the limited amount of contact I’ve been given, the environment I’ve been confined too, that has been extremely difficult to do. I want a future with you, and if you can’t provide that then there is no point for us to remain in each other’s lives otherwise. PS. And btw, your pictures aren't flattering either!
Author likestolaugh Posted August 29, 2008 Author Posted August 29, 2008 Well, allow me to speak on behalf of this girl from your post: I cannot read your mind, I don’t know what else it is you want or what else I am supposed to say/do. I can’t keep going around in circles with you & I can’t waste any more time trying to “figure” it out. I’ve tried to communicate how I feel/what I want, but with the limited amount of contact I’ve been given, the environment I’ve been confined too, that has been extremely difficult to do. I want a future with you, and if you can’t provide that then there is no point for us to remain in each other’s lives otherwise. PS. And btw, your pictures aren't flattering either! oh I never said my pics are flattering! (although they ain't terrible, either;)) Anyway, I was able to easily look past those superficial faults... anyway, what you've said right there sounds much more ike what's going through my mind atm (for the most part), than what I suspect is happening with her. Time will tell, however. she already knows what I wanted. she's been given as much contact as she might want, but has recently just not been around so much, and hasn't in any way been "confined" to anything. I don't think she wants an all or nothing kind of interaction (if I can't be in a relationship, then I don't want anything else). After all, when she told me she didn't want a bf at the moment, she knew that I did want that at the time.
LionLover Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 You keep making false statements. She NEVER said she didn't want you as a BF. So I'll say it once again. If I can't be in a relationship with you, then we go our seperate ways. I can't be anything else to you, because I can't be friends with someone I am attracted too romantically. I've laid it out there for you. The decision you make belongs to you.
Author likestolaugh Posted August 29, 2008 Author Posted August 29, 2008 she said... and I quote: "I don't want a boyfriend right now... I just assumed that I was ready/wanted a relationship, but I realize that I actually didn't..." before I came along, it had been quite a while since she had been in a relationship... while she never directly said she didn't want ME, it's pretty clear in my mind that it's best to just do things as friends for right now, and as I've repeated, see where things go from here... I'm NOT (that would be the absolute worst things to do) going to make her feel guilty about this, nor will I make her feel like all I want out of her is a relationship... ie, force her into one. That wouldn't be right, obviously.
LionLover Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 Your still making false statements as usual. I'm NOT (that would be the absolute worst things to do) going to make her feel guilty about this, nor will I make her feel like all I want out of her is a relationship... ie, force her into one. That wouldn't be right, obviously. You did not force her into one, but keep thinking that if it makes it easier for you. When YOUR ready for a real relationship, give me a call.
Author likestolaugh Posted August 29, 2008 Author Posted August 29, 2008 actually I AM ready. I don't know how many times I have to tell you this. I'm trying to mentally "unconsider" a romantic relationship with this particular girl because, as I said, I don't want there to be disappointment on my side in the future. If I find it's worth pursuing again in a while, well, I'll likely be open to that when the time comes. I've told you over and over again, that whether or not she is or isn't ready for something right now, given what she's said, it would be most disrespectful of me to ignore that and try for something more at the current time. I'm simply reporting on how things are progressing. please stop seemingly inserting me into the role of your man who may or may not be ready for something that you are.
LionLover Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 actually I AM ready. If I find it's worth pursuing again in a while, well, I'll likely be open to that when the time comes. Contradiction. please stop seemingly inserting me into the role of your man who may or may not be ready for something that you are. I'm sorry. When YOUR ready for a relationship, give her a call.
Author likestolaugh Posted August 29, 2008 Author Posted August 29, 2008 you still don't get it... I'm ready now. yes, I am. In a couple months, who's to say really? That's why I said that... She's not right now. So why on earth would I bring the topic up with her again? That makes NO sense at all. After all, I've told her I'm ready. You've somehow got it into your mind that she's falling all over herself wondering about me, when I really don't think that's the case, frankly. and wow darling, do you not sleep? lol!
Author likestolaugh Posted August 29, 2008 Author Posted August 29, 2008 forgot to mention she txt'd me saying she couldn't make it tonight.. exhausted after helping a friend move...
LionLover Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 Sleepies? No, not sleeping well for some time now. Work was busy today & I could barely keep my eyes open. I myself HAVE fallen all over wondering what my guy has thought/felt towards me, sometimes I thought I knew but other times he’d say/do certain things I just didn’t understand. I didnt want to rehash the reasons we stopped talking over email because it seemed to keep adding to the confusion/miscommunication. I couldn’t bring him to talk to me on the phone let alone in person, and he wasn't obligated to, but I felt like I reached a dead end & there was nothing I could do to press through it. I have tried to be very direct with him lately about what I feel/want/need, because everything else seems to get misinterpreted. I have recently been more direct in telling him that I want a relationship with him, that I am already ready for a relationship with him. I’m not asking him for more then he is willing/can provide but I cant nor want to be with anyone else, especially intimately, except him and I need to know that he feels the same way/wants the same thing. I want him to be comfortable with me, & that he can tell me what he needs to see from me, because I'm not always going to know what goes through his mind. PS. He should be happy to know that I gained about a pound or two so I will be even more unattractive to him then I was before.
Author likestolaugh Posted August 29, 2008 Author Posted August 29, 2008 a pound here or there makes NO difference in the eyes of a guy. trust me on that. (maybe with the absolute worst kind, but you wouldn't want that anyway) anyway, so what's he been saying recently when you've been more direct? I'd expect a pretty direct response one way or another from him, no? It's good that you've had the guts to go through with it...
LionLover Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 a pound here or there makes NO difference in the eyes of a guy. trust me on that. (maybe with the absolute worst kind, but you wouldn't want that anyway) No I definitely wouldn’t want that, he should like me chubbiness and all. anyway, so what's he been saying recently when you've been more direct? I'd expect a pretty direct response one way or another from him, no? It's good that you've had the guts to go through with it... He said that he’s ready, and I want him to be absolutely positive knowing that I am in fact ready to go through with it.
Author likestolaugh Posted August 30, 2008 Author Posted August 30, 2008 He said that he’s ready, and I want him to be absolutely positive knowing that I am in fact ready to go through with it. so then... what's the holdup? He's ready, you're ready.... go at it! ...and your gumbo of chicken will roll around in about 20 min....
LionLover Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 Should I ask if he'd like to see me in person? Which do you think he'd prefer? ....Roll around as in boil?..... or roll around......turn over & fall asleep?
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